The Second Wives’ Club: we meet the Mormon polygamists

With ten children at home, it’s lucky Katie Kelsch works as a sales associate at a maternity shop. Her oldest is thirteen, and the youngest are one and two. Katie couldn’t imagine juggling everything without Sarah’s* help. If one of the kids gets sick, Sarah is there.

When Katie gets home from work, she doesn’t have to worry about mopping up or making dinner – thatâ??s Sarah’s job. But Sarah isn’t the nanny, the housekeeper, or the cook – she’s the other wife.

Katie grew up in Salt Lake City, Utah as an independent Mormon fundamentalist. Her father had multiple wives, and when Katie married her husband Travis, they agreed that the doctrine of plural marriage was an important tenet of their faith.

The couple had known Sarah for years, and after much prayer for guidance and five years of marriage, they welcomed Sarah as Travis’s second wife and Katie’s sister wife.

The Kelsches are apostates, according to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The mainstream Church, of which Mitt Romney is a member, abandoned the practice of polygamy in 1890, although it took two more official warnings, several decades, and a stringent policy of excommunication to stamp it out.

After five years, it was hard to get used to sleeping alone. ‘Katie’, Mormon wife

The practice was part and parcel of Mormonism from the start: when Mormons believe their prophet, Joseph Smith, revealed further scripture from God when he discovered the Book of Mormon in New York in 1827.

Rumours of polygamy followed, as Smith began a relationship with a maid who worked in the house he shared with his first wife, Emma. Brigham Young, Smith’s successor, led the Mormons to Great Salt Lake in Utah, amassing more and more wives as he preached that polygamy would help populate the earth with God’s chosen people. Americans, however, were committed to eradicating not only slavery, but also the other “relic of barbarism” – polygamy.

Soon, though, it all led to a split, as the mainstream church bowed to the pressure and renounced polygamy in 1890. Mormons calling themselves “fundamentalists” broke away, vowing to continue Smith’s teachings, which included the belief that plural marriage is required to enter the highest level of heaven. Some fled to establish polygamous sects in Canada and Mexico (where Mitt Romney’s father was born).

Fundamentalist fury

Modern fundamentalists are still critical. Anne Wilde, who leads a polygamy advocacy group called Principle Voices, feels that the church “didn’t want to be that different”. Katie Kelsch puts it in blunter terms: the church is a “sell-out”.

The discrepancy between the history of the faith and modern teachings has driven many into the arms of fundamentalism. Anne Wilde attended Brigham Young University in Utah and was active in the Mormon Church, but decided to live the faith as it was originally revealed. She met like-minded Ogden Kraut through fundamentalist circles, and became his second wife.

Katie and Anne each chose polygamy due to their sincere belief that the practice is a requirement to get to heaven. “We have a strong belief in the hereafter,” says Anne, but “itâ??s a benefit to life too.”

Anne believes polygamy allows women to “have the best of both worlds”: she can finish her education or work while the other wives take care of the children. Katie spoke of the benefits of taking turns working, depending on which of the wives had the youngest child.

Both women are upfront about their marital status. Katie answers the questions of curious neighbors, if they’re respectful. But she and her family have been the target of attacks – the Kelsch home has been spray painted, and rocks have been thrown at them.

Living without fear

Both Katie and Anne eventually want polygamy to be legalised so they can live with their families without fear of being arrested. Other than the extra wives, they say they’re just like everyone else. Their children can choose for themselves if they want to become polygamists.

Anne acknowledges that it “isn’t for everybody” and several of Katie’s siblings did not follow in their parents’ footsteps. But Katie feels her relationship with Sarah has helped her to become a better person. You build trust, she says, to overcome jealousy, and establish meaningful relationships.

The downside to this lifestyle? Katie says it irks her to have to consult her sister wife on household decisions, such as planting a garden or buying new furniture. That doesn’t sound too bad. But then thereâ??s this: “After five years, it was hard to get used to sleeping alone.”

Still, Katie feels that her experience is a positive one, and wants to provide a differing view than the typical media portrayal of the angry, bitter ex-sister wife.

“Look at the divorce rate. There are a lot of angry, bitter women outside polygamy, too.”

Written by Elise Garofalo

*name changed at her request