Taskmaster Season 14 Press Pack
Category: Press PackGreg Davies and Alex Horne
Can you talk about this series’ contestants, starting with Dara?
Alex: Like Lee Mack, we knew Dara’s kids were fans of the show, so we knew he watched it. He definitely came in as somebody who knows the show inside out. He’s also famously clever. Traditionally, clever people have done badly, but he’s clever and he’s got common sense. He’s more like Bob Mortimer than David Baddiel.
Greg: In the group tasks, he plays a weary father figure very well. I really have enjoyed him because he’s actually quite competitive.
Alex: My youngest child is desperate that everything is fair. I think Dara is a bit like that: “It’s not fair!”
Greg: He’s good fun. He’s one of those people who is such a defined telly presence, a defined character. He said to me – and I’m sure he won’t mind me saying this – he said, “How’s this going to work out? Because I’ve cultivated this authority persona.” And I went, “Well…” and I just mimed pulling a rug out from under his feet. And he’s really gone along with that. He’s a great example of someone who’s showing a different side of himself.
You particularly enjoyed playing back some of his facial expressions during the studio records.
Greg: It’s a hell of a face.
Alex: He said to me, “When I go to sleep at night, I think of my own face now.”
Greg: That one where we filled the whole screen was great. It’s a feature wall face.
What about Fern?
Alex: Her voice is incredible.
Greg: I really love listening to Fern say anything, really. I love listening to Fern being a bit confused about what the task is. I love her being excited. At one point she remembered three things that she selected for a task, and they were potatoes, pens, and a robin. And she goes, “Ah, did I select potatoes? Did I select pens?” And then she sees the robin and goes, “Hello!”
Alex: She personifies everything. She turns everything into a person or animal, like balloons suddenly have arseholes.
Greg: “Hold them by their little bums.” And she says it like everyone thinks like that.
Alex: And everything dies as well. Like if it falls on the floor, it’s dead. “Aww, I’ve killed the pens.”
Greg: There’s a sort of wide-eyed innocence to her. “Aww, they’re dead now.” But also, she can say something absolutely filthy one minute and then she can be a wide-eyed child the next.
Alex: She’s lived a lot of lives, it feels like. Because she goes through things pretty quick.
Greg: She goes from innocent to bleak like that [clicks fingers]. She’s a pervert, is the truth.
This whole series feels a bit filthy.
Alex: There was one show in particular that was pretty filthy.
Greg: I don’t think there was a moment that went by without masturbation being referenced. I must take my own responsibility for that.
Is this down to Sarah Millican, who’s famously filthy? Or is it down to Alex being, as you put it, “slightly weirdly sexual this series”?
Greg: I think we’ve made a thing of that. I really liked that we’ve made like he’s going through some pubescent phase. That’s quite fun. I think that is part of it. And Millican is dirty. And Fern’s dirty.
Alex: And Munya mimed something sexual, having sex with a dolphin or something.
Greg: If they cut out all the filth, some episodes will just be “hello” and “goodbye”.
How about John?
Greg: I just find John hilarious at all times. I don’t think there’s a situation in life where I wouldn’t find John funny. He could burst into the room and tell me there’s been a terrible accident with my family and I’d still find it funny.
Alex: He was just trying to be John.
Greg: I think he was putting being John first. I think he just does what he does, and to hell with the consequences.
Alex: He wasn’t playing a game. He laughed a lot. He’s hopefully going to be discovered by a few people.
Greg: And something I keep pointing out that I don’t think anyone else is excited by is how much he looks like a young Richard Attenborough. He’s ripe for a Jurassic Park remake. He looks just like him.
Alex: He looks like an old Richard Attenborough as well, though. But he’s only 35.
Greg: He’s only 35? I thought we were the same age group.
Is Munya the most athletic contestant you’ve ever had?
Alex: Yes, definitely. He’s very strong. Very enthusiastic, as well, very confident.
Greg: He’s the most confident competitor we’ve ever had. And I don’t mind telling you, I found it a little grating in the initial episodes. But I did a volte-face and came to find it charming. Then I started looking forward to hearing him announce that he’s going to be the best ever at this or that.
Alex: Also, in every episode he says he’s from Zimbabwe. And then he says he’s from Norwich, both of which are true, but it’s quite confusing.
Greg: And he frequently refers to how cool his father was.
Alex: He has some amazing stories.
Greg: He’s really different from anyone we’ve had before. Because normally, comedians are, rightly, crushed by self-doubt. So it’s quite refreshing to have someone come in and bounce around like a Tigger and go, “I’m going to do this amazingly!”
Greg: his spirit couldn’t be crushed. Try as I might.
Alex: And he’s a cheat. But that’s great. I love it when someone cheats. He also is adding stuff. He’s doing the task, but he always adds a little flair and a few flourishes.
What about Sarah?
Alex: It’s funny having her and Dara at either end of the panel, because she’s a bit of a silent assassin, really. I like her comedy, because everything she says is funny and good and pointed. She’s good at trying to peg you down a little bit.
Greg: The Smiling Assassin is the perfect description for Sarah, and I think she’s used that lovable auntie character her whole career really, to smuggle in something altogether more cunning.
Alex: Also she did some stuff that was out of her comfort zone. She hates singing. She hates sport. I was really touched that she did the show, because she normally doesn’t do things if she doesn’t know what’s going to happen. She always wants to be in control. And she has managed to be in control somehow.
Greg: She was great.
Alex: And she had a good time, which is a relief. She definitely enjoyed it. She said to me at the end that she was sad it was over, which was bittersweet. You want to hear that though, you don’t want them to say, “Thank God that’s over.”
Greg: You wouldn’t expect to see Sarah Millican bowling with luggage trolleys, because as a stand-up she’s very static. That control thing is she stands on stage, doesn’t move, and preaches to the masses. So to see her running around and getting a bit flustered is unusual. A lot of which we kindly put in slow motion.
Alex: She enjoyed making a mess and not clearing it up. Because that’s not her at all.
Alex, you swore for the first time this series.
Alex: Yes, and I didn’t really notice I’d done that. It was only Greg who noticed that.
Greg: Ooh, I was on it. I jumped on that.
Alex: I don’t swear at home at all.
Greg: That’s when I realised that he’s going through a phase.
Alex: Who was it who pushed me to swear? Was it John?
Greg: No, it was Munya, asking you to be more powerful with your throws.
Alex: Oh, yes. I was exhausted!
Greg: You don’t swear a lot in real life, do you?
Alex: No. That was definitely the true me finally coming out. I was tired and frustrated. I guess maybe that’s what I’d be like if I was a contestant.
Greg: I think it’s nice. I think you’re becoming a big boy at last. Soon I’ll be able to hand over the reins to you.
Alex: I’ll wait until next series.
Last time we met, you told me you’d been camping together. Have there been any more camping trips?
Greg: I think it’s time we did another camping trip. We did have a night out.
Alex: I stole an owl.
Greg: He stole an owl and got in trouble.
Alex: Greg encouraged me. My mother was furious.
Greg: A thing I’ve learned about Alex is, and it’s new to our friendship, if he has a certain amount of drinks, you can tell him to do anything, and he will do it. It’s quite exciting. I hope we can do another little camping trip.
Alex: Yes, me too. I was actually going to ask to borrow your caravan to go to Latitude.
Greg: Can I come?
Alex: Oh, well, maybe.
Greg: Just you and me?
Alex: Well, my wife…
Greg: She can make her own way there, can’t she?
Dara O’Briain
Have you been asked to do Taskmaster before?
No, I haven’t. I’m constantly on the road, but then there was the pandemic and I was suddenly really available. I remember chatting to them at various events and we’d have these loose conversations, but it was very difficult to get a run where I was free. It became this weird obsession for me because the Taskmaster house is on my school run – it’s at the end of my road. I take a right turn at the house, and it says ‘Taskmaster House’ on the Sat Nav. Every morning: Taskmaster House. So I was always tempted, whenever I passed by, to jump over the hedge and look in, but I felt that would be inappropriate until I’d done the show. Now, I’ll treat it like a second house. I’ll drop in all the time. “Oh, hi, Dara. You’re here again?” “Yeah, I thought I’d wander down to see if you need any help with the tasks.”
You were a fan of the show already, then?
Taskmaster is the show that taught my children how to swear: the earlier series in particular. I remember looking across at my wife and her going, “Look, it’s lockdown. All the rules have changed.” Kids are always years ahead of where you think they are anyway. We watched it as a family during lockdown; it became the go-to show for us after Death in Paradise, which I’ve not been asked to do either.
Was it as much fun as you expected? Was there anything surprising about it?
I know it’s very showbizzy to say things like, “Oh, it’s been so wonderful to work with the team, and they’ve all been great” but it’s true: it’s like having somebody set you a new Escape Room every hour. I was dreading the creative ones because I thought I would just go blank and end up with one word on the page at the end of the day, but they all became mad fun to do. It's a huge privilege. You’d like to say that about everything – “it’s incredible, what an honour it is to actually do this” – but no. Most of it is like, “What topical jokes do I have to drag out of the sky?” and stuff like that. But this one is silly fun that has been built just for you.
The main difference is that you really have no idea what to expect on Taskmaster, whereas most panel shows involve at least a bit of planning, don’t they, even if they’re not actually scripted?
That idea of coming to a show without some idea of what you’re going to talk about is crap, because otherwise it doesn’t work. “Oh, I haven’t been watching the news.” Really? You didn’t think, “Maybe I’ll have a glance at the paper”? So yes, of course people do that, and the game is how you mesh it, how you build on it. But Taskmaster is completely exposing. Like, “Well, how are you going to do this?”
I know that I have this dorky nerdy reputation. The greatest thing about doing something like a degree in maths is that people give you credit for being a genius, so I try to leave that belief in people’s minds, even if you’re not actually that good and basically bailed out of that career to chase a showbiz career. I can imagine them at my old university rolling their eyes going, “No, he didn’t. Really, he went straight to showbiz, the minute he came in.” So to have that tested and shown up is kind of funny.
A lot of comedy is about your status, and pulling the rug from underneath yourself, setting yourself up and being stupid. It means that when they have debates about, “Oh, is comedy going to die because we can’t say anything any more?” you want to say, “Look, I’m wearing a boiler suit trying to push an egg through a thing and that’s funny”, or you’re singing a song using five words that you’ve plucked out of your head, or any of that stuff. So cancel culture happens in a different universe to the nonsense we’re doing here. “I am a man of some standing! No, I’m crawling on the floor, blindfolded, trying to find a tail I made so I can pin it onto something.”
The only time it’s tough is when you do a thing that you really enjoyed and that you remember as a happy experience, and then it gets graded and marked in the studio. That doesn’t happen in life. Like imagine you’re having a lovely day at the beach, and then Greg comes along and goes, “Your day at the beach is worth one point” and you’re like, “But I really enjoyed my day at the beach.” It’s quite the rollercoaster: there are tasks where you feel like you’re the cock of the walk – and suddenly you’re at the bottom of the pile. It’s like they have to break you to make you stronger. I’ve tried to put it into monastic terms, or personal development terms, or whatever, but that’s not it. You’re a plaything of the audience. That’s the game.
As you suggested, the audience may expect you to be particularly good at some of the more science-based tasks. Did you feel like you did yourself justice on those?
The only ones I remember are the ones where I clearly did not! There were two or three where I made a hames of it – there’s an Irish phrase I’d like to popularise, making a hames of something – ones where I’m going to myself, “Yeah, I really thought you’d get that, I thought you’d have spotted the thing.” There were a couple I was dreading coming up in the studio. It turns out that, for the ones where you’re supposed to be looking for the clever way around it, I’m actually more likely to just get my head down and power through.
The perception is I’m some kind of debunker, a magician who knows all of the tricks, like, “A-ha!” but that wasn’t the case at all. You might think I’d be like, “Ah, Alex, I knew to look under the table.” “Ah, this is a false wall, Alex.” “Oh, you’ll have to get out of bed early in the morning to catch me,” like My Cousin Vinny. Nope. So if there was a task that was, “Please knock down all these dominoes individually,” there are people who think, “How can I find a clever way to that?” but it turns out that I’ll literally just knock them all down individually. I will do the thing repetitively.
. It turns out I’m really unimaginative. So in many ways it’s been absolutely shattering. Plus, it turns out, my main contribution is I seem to do ridiculous faces intermittently. Once an episode they’d go, “What are you doing here with your face?” Literally, all Greg did was mock a large man’s face.
He also gave you a new catchphrase from the show because you kept saying, “Wait, what”?
When you do the show, you feel an obligation to verbalise all your thoughts because that’s what they need, but my thoughts seem to be constantly switching to, “Wait, what?” It’s good to know that this is yet another flaw in my communication skills that Greg has picked up on. I’m basically composed of verbal tics. It’s all I have. It only adds to a level of public ownership of my dignity. He picked up on me calling myself a legend a few times too. That’s another Irish thing. “Total legend” is the extreme version, but I’m not sure if I’ve become a total legend yet. If I could get there, that’d be great.
Do you think you were competitive?
Yes, but I’m not sure to what extent I can do that and not come across as being a dick. The competitiveness is because it’s the only way to win it. I instantly wanted to win it because it’s so much fun to do. Even one more day on a champion’s special some time would be a really happy thing. So that became the defining thing, of like, “I just want more days of this.”
You could play along at home, but I guess it’s just not the same.
Not without Alex there. And I won’t have somebody to go and get me lunch every day.
What was your relationship like with Greg and Alex?
Well, there’s three things. There’s my relationship with Greg, my relationship with Alex, and then my relationship with Greg and Alex as a unit. It’s very interesting. Greg did one of the funniest things ever on Mock the Week where the category was trains, toilets and celebrities, and Greg did a whole thing about Peter Andre in this high-pitched voice. I was in fits.
Alex has never done shows like Mock so I know him best for his tours and because he is the creator of Taskmaster, but their whole double act is so smooth at this stage, and it’s so well-timed. They have their whole thing worked out so well that they’re completely consistent with it, and it works really, really well. Honestly, it’s a pleasure to watch and I was happy just to sit back and watch them. I’d jump in with the odd line now and again, if I knew I could bump the filth up, but the main joy was honestly just watching them.
What do your kids make of you being on the show?
The middle boy suggested two of the items for the prize task, and doesn’t know how many points he has received for his items that he suggested, so he’s looking forward to that and that’s quite sweet. He came along actually, and they got him to do a task. It was really cool. They had the card with the wax seal and everything. He’s watched every episode. I’m not saying I did it because of my kids, but I have a strong feeling that when you do a show that your kids love, you end up just ruining it for your kids. I had a routine about this once going, “I’m going to watch a movie, it stars various people and my dad.” So I just hope I’m not ruining it for them by being in it.
Fern Brady
The jumpsuit you wear for the tasks is extraordinary. Tell us a bit about it.
I hadn’t seen the programme until I got the job, but my best mate is a massive fan of the show so she was like, “You have to wear a crazy costume. Everyone wears a crazy costume on it.” Which isn’t strictly true but my mate Phil [Wang] had been on it a few series ago, and he wore this yellow jumpsuit where you can see his willy, so I was trying to compete with him. I was like, “I have to make it better than that.” Randomly, maybe three years ago, this woman who designs fetish gear and bondage harnesses messaged me on Instagram saying, “I love your comedy. If you ever want any of my designs for your shows, let me know.” I looked at her page and I was like, “Where the hell am I ever going to wear something like that?” Like, how am I going to wear a harness to stand-up gig? I just wear jeans and a t-shirt most of the time. So anyway she popped into my head when I got this job, and I messaged her saying, “I’ve got this really weird request. I can’t tell you what the programme is, but I want a superhero-looking outfit.” But then when I said I want Taskmaster written on it, she was like, “I think I know what the show is.” So she custom-made it for me.
There was a really embarrassing back and forth with the producers where I wasn’t allowed to have stars on my boobs or anything. It had to be suitable for children. So I talked to this woman and heavily emphasised that I wanted a superhero look rather than a fetish look, and I got my harness in the post. Then the jumpsuit underneath, that’s just from a dance company.
It was so uncomfortable. I regretted it every day. If I was even slightly bloated, it showed. The first episode of the first task, I figure I’d had a lot of soy sauce the day before. It’s very unforgiving. I couldn’t go to the toilet in it. I had to limit myself to one pee a day.
What were you hoping to gain from the outfit?
I just wanted to win the love of children everywhere, because they’re the ticket buyers of the future.
If you hadn’t seen Taskmaster before, why did you sign up?
For a stand-up comedian, Taskmaster ismassive! I was so surprised when I got the call, but here I am. Any of my friends that have been on it, it’s made a massive difference. But the other thing that was good was I found out last year that I am autistic, and I think a lot of autistic people like the show.
A lot of panel shows say, “Be yourself.” This is a lie. What they mean is, “Be a two-dimensional version of what we think you are.” Usually, because I’m Scottish, they want me to lean into really tedious stereotypes about Glaswegians – and I’m not even Glaswegian. For this show, they said, “Be yourself,” and I really was my autistic self on the show, and any autistics are going to see things in common. I’m so physically clumsy, and so silly in it, so I think it’s a show that works well for people who are themselves. A lot of comedians aren’t the same person off stage as they are on stage. It’s usually the smiliest, nicest ones that are the most sinister people off stage, whereas I’m pretty much the same.
A lot of people had been tweeting me telling me I should go on it, and I was like, “What are you talking about?” but as soon as I got there I could see why they said I would be good for it. The way that I solved some tasks were completely not the way that other people would think at all. I’ve spoken to neurotypical people about my final task, and no one would solve it the way that I did. It’s having a different way of thinking. I actually noticed from looking on Taskmaster Reddit threads that you get a knack for spotting other people that have autism. I could tell there’s a lot of autistic fans of the show, so I think they’re going to recognise that I solved tasks in a really odd way.
Can you see why neurodiverse people love Taskmaster so much now that you’ve taken part in it?
Absolutely. It’s really a happy coincidence, because I only got diagnosed recently and I’ve been doing a book about it as well so it’s been really nice to do a job where all those things are meeting. But I really felt like I could be myself on this. The only other way I feel like I can be myself is when I do stand-up. And that’s unfortunate, because the UK isn’t the same as America. A lot of the time, you really have to make your mark by doing panel shows.. But with this, I felt like I could do the tasks all day. I was so happy when I was at the house. And our group tasks were ridiculous.
That’s the other thing: I’m buzzing about the line-up because everyone’s going to tune in for Sarah and Dara, and Munya has like a million Instagram followers, so hopefully it’s going to be a good way for people to know me and John. I cried laughing at John so many times. But I don’t think anyone’s going to be pitching stuff to me after this unless it’s something where I fall over, like kids TV or something. I really don’t think anyone’s going to be watching it and going, “I know a niche for her.”
Greg accused you of not trying hard enough. Was that true?
No! For one task, I was so appalled by how wrong I’d got it, and then Greg said, “Well, you obviously didn’t try at all.” He said that a lot. But I tried so hard in every task. I did my best. I was so exhausted at the end of every day from trying my very, very hardest. So to have Greg repeatedly say, “Oh, well, Fern doesn’t try,” was hurtful!
Do you think Greg’s criticism was unfair?
Yes, because I composed a song for one of the tasks and at the start of every episode, Greg would sing it to me. I know I sang that really well, because I used to play piano as a kid.
Do you think you were competitive?
I am very competitive, yes, but it’s confusing because I didn’t know if the aim was to get the highest points or to be the funniest. My prize tasks were the ones I did the worst at because I failed to understand how important they were. I’d come back from Melbourne two days before I filmed the show so I basically have to go in my loft and put some things in a bag.
Do you feel that there’s a difference between the way that the different genders approached things?
We all took different approaches. I really wanted to believe that women and men wouldn’t take different approaches, but if you look at one of the tasks, me and Sarah both picked flowers. And there was another one where all the men kicked balls around and did sporty stuff, and me and Sarah both opted to throw things at Alex in a kind of sadistic way. I’m not sure I should have done that because I already have a lot of perverts on my Instagram. And because of the outfit that I’m wearing, I don’t want to put notions in their head: “Oh, I wish I was Alex, having bananas thrown at my face,” or whatever. But that was a really fun day.
Who do you think was the most competitive?
Munya is so competitive. I would love Munya’s confidence. We had a throwing competition, throwing eggs, and Munya made such a big meal of it and just messed it up, which I found genuinely really endearing. Munya was the person that I knew the least, because he comes from the online world but he was so sweet. I was getting self-conscious about my voice, because I think I have a silly, childlike voice. But Munya was like, “You have a lovely voice.” In my head I sound like Stephen Fry. I’ve lived in England for 12 years, and I have an English accent in my head because I’ve lived here for so long.
What was your relationship like with Alex?
He was my favourite person. He says a lot of stuff under his breath, which I find infuriating. I’ve got a brother who’s very similar, so he reminded me of that a lot, and he would wind me up in a very specific way, going, “Hmm. Hmm.” The weirdest thing was, I binge watched the show in the run-up to filming, so I thought from watching it that Alex was this weird guy, then on the first day he came in and was chatting away to me and was really lovely. I thought he’d be this very cold weirdo, but he’s playing that up for the camera. He was so, so nice. That was the most surprising thing. He laughed at loads of my tasks. That was what I found really surprising, because they don’t show that on the show, he’s always very poised.
What were the main differences between the task days and the studio days?
It was interesting trying to work out how we’re going to come across, because I feel like they might try to show I’m the lazy one or something. They have a lot of bits of me saying, “I’m tired.” But the reality was, I was so excited about the task days that I wasn’t sleeping the night before; I was getting maybe four hours sleep and then I’d have to get up at five. Honestly, it happened every single task day, it was infuriating because obviously you don’t want your face to look tired for vanity reasons, and you want to do the tasks to the best of your ability. The only possible advantage I thought I had was that John had a new baby so I was like, “He’s definitely going to be worse than me.”
You said in the studio you were doing weightlifting as preparation for the show, is that true?
Have you seen my costume?! I lift weights anyway – I deadlift 117, which is more than one and a half times my body weight. I’m going to do a strongwoman competition after this. But I made sure that I was doing it a little bit more in the run-up to filming. I also did it because I thought there might be physical tasks, and I was right. Also, even though I didn’t really know Munya, I knew that he was really into exercise. If you see him in the programme, he’s definitely the most athletic.
John Kearns
How was your experience of Taskmaster?
The house is brilliant, and I’m glad we did the studio post-Covid. You need the audience’s energy. There was one episode where they were shouting, “Wait, what?” at Dara, which is apparently his new catchphrase. They were absolutely mad. You want a good audience, but blimey, it was brilliant. It’s just fun. There’s no other word for it.
Was it what you expected?
It sometimes took me a while to answer a question. I just take ages to work it out. I think the reason I enjoyed it so much is that, as a group, we all really got on, and we all made terrible mistakes. You know, when you think you’re the biggest idiot, the person sat next to you trumps with an even worse episode. Before I went in I was like, “Will it be very competitive? Will people really want to win? Will there really be backstabbing and skulduggery and the dark arts?” And although I did do a bit of sabotage, I had no choice. I have to make that clear.
It did seem to take you a lot of time to process the task sometimes.
Well, the thing with this show is you spend 30 hours in a week staring at yourself on a massive screen in the studio. And over 30 hours, you are faced with who you are. Like, there’s no hiding place. Usually, you can be in control of when an audience laughs at you. You know, you’ve written some material, it’s funny, they laugh, there we go. The distance between you and the audience can be material. But true comedy is just you being a funny person, the material almost comes second, and that’s what this show brings to the fore. What’s interesting about that is you don’t really have control of why you’re funny, so you’re looking at the screen, 30 hours a week of staring at yourself basically being awful at something, and you’ve got one of the best comedians in the country dissecting why you’re bad, and you’ve got a ravenous audience baying for your blood, laughing their heads off at how bad you are. You’re very much confronted by who you are. It turns out I’m someone that can stand for 80 seconds just holding balloons, not saying anything or doing the task. There were so many times where I’m watching the task back and I don’t know what was going through my head because I haven’t moved for about a minute. Or there was one task where you had to roll balls. I’m watching everyone take 20 goes, and I’m watching going, “I know I only had one go at this and I spent 14 minutes setting it up. Why?”
Has Greg taught you anything about yourself?
Well, over the series, themes came to the fore, and Greg basically liked calling me an old man. He kept referring to me as Richard Attenborough and Ghandi. He called me Granddad a couple of times. I walked blindfolded for one task, and he said I looked like a granddad in a sitcom.
How do you find those comments?
Well, the thing is, when you’re sat next to Munya, who’s like Action Man, he’s the guy who’s doing a forward roll, somersault, star jumps, often for no reason whatsoever. I don’t know how old he is, I’m 35 but people have always thought I was older. I don’t think the show is going to help that. I’ve been good at some of the tasks, I run around, but it’s not as graceful as Munya.
How did you get on with the other contestants: did you know anyone before?
I knew Fern. I’d not met Munya before, but I was obviously aware of his work. He’s fantastic, because he’s mad. Like I said, the show confronts you with who you are. I know he’s huge on socials and he hasn’t done much live comedy, but he’s really changed over the series in that he’s a phenomenal bullsh***er. He’s got huge confidence to go with any opinion he has. It’s been a pleasure to sit next to him. Also he’s a good laugher. I think we all are; you can’t play it cool. In your life you think back to when you laughed the most – maybe it was at school, or you did a job in your early 20s where you didn’t really give a sh*t – and this is what this show gives you for a week in the studio. Without sounding too bleak, you kind of think, “God, I laughed a lot today. When was the last time I did that?”
I don’t even know how to describe Fern, it’s like she’s on another planet. She probably said the same thing about me, but you’ve got no idea what she’s going to say, or at what angle she will argue something. I love Fern.
And Dara and Sarah: Dara is doing a 180-date tour, Sarah’s gigging in Amsterdam. These are big old units, big beasts of comedy, so I actually feel very fortunate to be doing a line-up where there’s two of them, because usually there’s one big name. I just admire them, really. When you’re sat having a drink afterwards with Greg Davies, and Dara and Sarah, and you’re listening to them talk about the stuff they did when they were starting out, I just felt very privileged to be sat there listening to their stories. They’re mad nice.
Were they competitive?
Dara really loves the show – I think he’s seen every episode – and you could tell he wanted to win. And that’s fine. Sarah, I didn’t think she was like that, but as the series progressed I was like, “Oh, she’s been really playing the game.”
Has anything surprised you?
I have been stunned by the smut that has come out of Sarah’s mouth during this show. Even Alex has been blue; I think this is the first series where he’s sworn. Then you’ve got Sarah, who has this sweet- as-pie veneer but an absolute potty mouth. Nothing makes me laugh more than that stuff. When Dara is talking about looking at himself in the mirror in his pants, it’s like… the hardest I’ve laughed was when we were doing the team task with Dara and Fern, and for some reason Dara ran off, and Greg was like, “It’s like looking into a Victorian asylum.” They played the footage in black and white and I was crying, man. I just lost it.
You have to leave your dignity and vanity at the door, don’t you?
It’s funny, everyone’s vain, but comedians, you just can’t be. My costume, for example. I’m watching it back and I’m like, “I could have worn something more flattering” but it is funny to watch a guy with a bit of a gut struggling to get into a boxing ring. Whereas if you’re wearing maybe a black jumper and you look okay… you’ve got to remember what your role is. And the tasks are the funny thing. What you will do will be funny, so you can’t go into it thinking, “Oh, I’m going to be funny.” The funny just has to come. So you can’t be vain. You can’t have any dignity. I was like, “If there is a task which would require me taking my clothes off, you’ve just got to do it and live with the repercussions that that’ll be on YouTube until you die.”
The show has some really passionate fans: are you prepared for the gifs and the memes?
I avoid all of that. In my mind, that stuff is happening in the park down the road. You know like when your neighbours are having a party? That’s how I see it. I’ll be in my room here and be like, “Did someone shout my name? It might be another John, I don’t know”. But it’s funny because there were a couple of moments where Greg mentioned, “Gifs have been born out of this show.” There are a couple of things that people might pick up on, but I think I got away with it. I don’t think there’s anything totally nuts that I’ve done.
What was your relationship like with Alex?
He’s a very clever man but he’s a vessel. What I mean by that is he’s like a robot. He’s like a shark, he doesn’t blink. You’ll be looking at him, and you can’t rely on him. He genuinely said to me, “I’m trying to help you. I’m always trying to help.” He’s not trying to help! His whole job is not to help you. He stands there in his suit, and his weird comfy shoes. I genuinely don’t know why he doesn’t buy better shoes. I’m looking at them going, “I know they’re comfy, but buy some nice shoes.”
It’s amazing how he gives absolutely nothing away. He’s pH7: absolutely neutral, and that drives you absolutely mad when you’re in a situation where you really need an opinion or a steer, and he’s there with his clipboard and the plastic shoes blinking away at you. And he’s clever. That’s what’s annoying. He’s a bright guy: created the show, went to Cambridge.
What about Greg?
He’s a phenomenal comedian. Genuinely you sit there for three hours at a time in the studio going, “Oh my God.” He’s just extraordinary. I’d say maybe he’s softening. That’s the biggest thing that surprised me. I think age is withering him.. He’s thinking about mortality. He’s a grande dame of the comedy world but he looks at us and sees his youth and his past in front of him. I think we’ve softened him. If he could, and he probably could, he would scoop me, Munya and Fern to his breasts. I don’t know if he’d look after us well, but he’d just like us running around his house. So we’ve softened him. And to me, that’s been the biggest surprise. That Alex has been thick and blue, and Greg is actually soft.
Munya Chawawa
How was your experience of making Taskmaster?
It’s been full-on running around, throwing eggs at stuff. It’s been the right kind of fun. The thing is, I wanted to win Greg’s head. Everyone else is like, “Oh, we’re here to have fun.” Yeah, whatever. I was there to win that golden head. I realised at the beginning of the year that my mantelpiece isn’t very impressive; I have a couple of candles on there. It’s so basic. What better than Greg’s polished head to bring things to life? I was thinking, “If I win that, that’s going to be the first thing you see when you come in. And for anyone who doesn’t know Greg, it’s a conversation starter”.
Greg said you were the most confident contestant of all time. Do you think he’s right?
I am a bit. I thought that everyone was going to be this competitive, but it feels like I’m the kid who showed up on sports day having been trained by Mo Farah and everyone else is just there to have a good time. But I grew up in Zimbabwe, where every sports day is like the Olympics. Everyone’s parents are sat there like, “You get disowned if you don’t come first” so I carried the same philosophy into this. But I’m pleased to hear that’s my thing. I also got described as like a miniature Action Man, which is cool. Because I went into the show thinking, “What’s my thing?” John has got this lovable, disaster-prone character, Dara is like the dad, but what do I do? Being called the Taskmaster Action Man, that could catch on. You could sell it. Most of the money would be spent on getting the eyebrows to scale, but I feel like that could really catch on.
So you didn’t go into it with a strategy then?
I used to play American football in Sheffield at uni, and the team motto was ‘Speed and Violence’, which I think is a great motto. So I guess I went into every task with speed and violence, and sometimes that paid off. Other times, slowness and peace might have been the better strategy, but I didn’t go for that. So in retrospect, I wish I had been a bit more cerebral with some of the tasks. I just went all guns blazing. I should have maybe taken more of a slower approach, but speed and violence worked 50 per cent of the time.
You were very athletic.
Well, I’m taking this as one long audition for me to become the next James Bond. All I will say is this: I never saw Daniel Craig jumping across some red lily pads with paint on his head. So to me, the decision is obvious.
What do you think of your fellow contestants?
Sarah is very structured, very cerebral, spending time with her I came out of this a better man. . She also turned out to be an emporium of fish names. She should put that on her LinkedIn. All this talk about being a comedian is great, but actually she is the go-to for any fish species. John is probably the funniest man I’ve ever met. I’m actually going to say that on record, I find him hilarious. So I like the fact that I got to sit back and watch him. Dara is the sensible dad, and Fern and John are the bats**t crazy kids.
Would you say you and Dara were the most competitive?
The thing is, Dara has been in the game for a long time. He’s got his tried and tested methods. And I had him on the ropes, because he was like, “Who is this young bundle of Zimbabwean dynamite trying to steal my thunder?” If it turned out to be a Hunger Games style sudden death at the end, so be it. I was willing to wipe out a legend if it meant I could have Greg’s shiny head.
You’re so competitive, in fact, that you did cheat at one task.
The thing is, it’s all very much open to interpretation. The way I see it was a bit of artistic direction because I let the creativity carry my body any which way, and that so happened to break the rules. But the thing is, there’s something beautiful about breaking the rules, isn’t there? We stumble upon so many great things when we don’t stick to the rules. So I personally think it wasn’t cheating, it was artistic flair. But we will let the public decide.
The way I look at it is, I’m not here for a long time, I’m here for a good time. I came to put on a show. Now, in that moment, I knew that there was probably a camera literally designated to focus on every part of me so I had a feeling that they caught it but I thought, “Look, I’ve just got to give the people a show. Own it.” I thought maybe Greg would even reward my boldness, reward the fact that I was taking ownership of my cheating. But no, I was penalised severely.
How did you get on with Greg?
Well, first of all, it’s so nice to work with someone the exact same height as me. Greg reminds me of every Zimbabwean headmaster I have ever had. And the thing about me is, I always used to be cheeky towards my teachers, but always on the right side of things. So I feel like even though Greg was very harsh towards me, he had a bit of a soft spot. I won him over. I’ve introduced him to the world of hip-hop slang. If you catch him walking through the corridors now he’s got a bit of a bit of a gangster limp going on. So gradually, we’re transforming Greg into the UK’s answer to 50 Cent. And to be honest, that’s all I came here to do. So don’t be surprised if he presents the next series of Taskmaster in a durag.
How about Alex?
Alex is a legend, because he does anything you ask him to. I actually enjoyed leaning on Alex. I felt like in Iron Man, where he’s got this helmet on, and inside his helmet is Jarvis, who’s this ever-present voice, he’s like the right-hand man. He was like my own built-in Alexa. Actually, in a few instances, I felt like I did well because of his assistance. Alex can sometimes be a human Get Out of Jail Free card, like a trump card. Definitely I feel like I needed him there, for sure. He’s a human Swiss army knife. Just a little bit blunter, I suppose. Less likely to inflict lethal wounds.
What do you think about the relationship between Greg and Alex?
I used to be a TV producer, so I used to write scripts for presenters and stuff like that, so a lot of the time I was looking at them in awe because of their chemistry, and how cohesive and watertight they are. To me, as someone who appreciates the art form, it’s aspirational. I love what they’ve got going on. I love that Alex is like the timid geezer, and then Greg is the big scary boss, but it just works, man. I can tell that Greg’s got like a super soft spot for Alex, and you see the friendship come through. Every time Greg strokes Alex’s face, the affection in that is all too true. If you say Will Smith and Martin Lawrence are the original Bad Boys for Life, Greg might be a shoo-in for the upcoming film. There’s a build-up of sexual tension that’s been dying to have its catharsis since lockdown, and it’s having it this series. I’m just pleased to witness it.
Tell us about the running joke in the studio about people asking how old you are.
I’m pretty flexible when it comes to birthdays. My birthday is at the end of December so people always miss it. I just said, “Let me just change it” so I changed my birthday to June. Then the day before my birthday in June, I forgot that I’d said it was my birthday, and obviously nobody’s sitting there with my birthday in their calendar, so I had to push it back to December.
So, as you’ve missed a load of birthdays and you are actually 12 years old.
Exactly. I keep missing my own birthday. I’m actually 29, with the kneecaps of a 17-year-old.
Is there a difference between the way you and Fern and John approached the tasks compared to the older contestants, Dara and Sarah?
They have a lot more wisdom than we do, but they’re like the fun adults. You know what I mean? Like when you’re at a party, and there’s always two adults doing backflips in the bouncy castle. That’s Sarah and Dara.
Who else would you like to see taking part in future series of Taskmaster?
I’d love to see my good friend Amelia Dimoldenberg, who does a really popular interview format called Chicken Shop Date. A lot of comedians have been on that, so I’d love to see her. Mo Gilligan, I think he’d be wicked on it. I would love to see Ainsley Harriott do it. I think he’d be so amazing. Ainsley Harriott has to do it. Even just the meals between tasks for the teams would be amazing. How much more would the show be amplified if people were served jerk chicken between tasks?
Sarah Millican
You looked like a schoolgirl having the most fun ever on the show. Did you enjoy it?
I know! I’m even wearing plaits! I can’t remember the last time I had plaits. I must have been about eight, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. People compliment you when you have plaits in, it’s so weird. They’re like, “Oh, I like your plaits,” and you’re like, “I didn’t do any of it. I literally grew my hair and somebody else more skilled is doing all of the work.”
It’s quite a solitary job being a stand-up, so doing this was like having a gang. I was never in a gang: of course I wasn’t, look at me. So just being in a room being with other comics was brilliant. We’d all have a drink afterwards with the crew and all the comics ended up in a little gang together and everybody else was mixing. It’s just the way we are, we all just hone in on each other. So actually, just working with other people was really nice.
Also I’ve watched this programme from day one. Sometimes when you do programmes, you have to watch it the night before because you think, “I don’t know what I’m doing, and there’s going to be really complicated rules that I’m not going to know, and I don’t want to look like I’m flailing.” But this was easy, because I’d already watched it, I knew exactly how it worked. Although, even when you know the show well, you still have no idea how you’re going to react. It’s a bit like when you learn to drive, and you think, “I’m going to be great at this” but you don’t know, because it’s not like anything else you’ve done. So some people are really smart, but rubbish at driving and then other people who are thick as s**t somehow nail it. That’s what this is like. You just have no idea what your brain’s going to do when you get in the room.
Did you have a strategy?
Well, I wanted to have fun because that feels like an important part of doing this. I also checked under every table. Every single task. And on at least one task that did pay off. Is there anything better than finding something that a man couldn’t find? I didn’t realise that was so high up on my list of things I love to do, but it was. But there was one where I found something taped under the table and thought, “A-ha!” and I pulled it down, and there was a note saying, “Hello, Sarah.” I was like, “Ah! They’ve got me.” Smartarses.
Also, every day when I did the tasks, I made notes afterwards. One of them was “concentrate” so I obviously didn’t concentrate enough and wanted to remind myself for the next day. Another one said, “Take the task with you.” I had pockets in my dress, so I put it in my pocket. So my strategy was always trying to improve.
That’s always my thing. I try to only learn everything once – because if you learn it twice, then you didn’t learn it the first time. That doesn’t always work out, but it’s a good plan. And then each time I was thinking, “I’ll try and do better than I did yesterday” but it’s hard because they’re all such different tasks. You can’t really compare any of them with each other directly.
My other strategy was to try and be funny. Sometimes that came very easily, and sometimes it was apparently funny just to see a woman folding a tarpaulin. I said to Dara, “It’s a good job they’ve got the young ones there,because this task is just a middle-aged person having a lovely time, folding a tarpaulin really carefully, really accurately.” It may be the most boring television you’ve ever seen. It’s a good job there were young ones who don’t know about folding. Why don’t young people know about folding?
Do you think there was a difference between the way you and Dara approached tasks, and the way the younger three approached tasks?
When I saw Dara folding up a tarpaulin really efficiently on his task, I was like, “That’s exactly what I did.” It’s interesting. I don’t know if it’s a gender-based thing, but men often think, “Of course I’m going to be good at this,” and women are a bit like, “Well, I’ll give it a go but I’m not really sure.” I feel that’s how we’re built, conditioned.
Do you think you and Munya taught each other things, having such an age difference?
I felt old a lot of the time and I didn’t know things he knew, but then sometimes he genuinely didn’t think that I would know the names of any animals. “I’m 46! Of course I know animals. Do you know how many animals I’ve seen, I’ve touched, I’ve fed, I’ve spoken to?” I’ve owned more animals than he knows. I’ve got 20 years on him. Although when I asked him how old he was, he said he was 12, and nobody really knows how old he is. But I think anyone under 30 to me is the same. They’re basically in a high chair to me. There was a nice moment when he mentioned Kendrick Lamar, and I heard Limahl. And I was like, “How do you know Kajagoogoo?” And he was like, “Kaja what?” We met in the middle a little bit with Lamar from Fame Academy. As it turns out, there’s a lot more Lamars and Limahls than you think.
There was another task where we had to try and get Greg to say the word “floppy” and I thought, “I can’t do floppy disk, because I don’t know if Munya would know what a floppy disk is.” He wouldn’t know a CD ROM if it hit him in the face.
I generally don’t know any young people. Why would you? But he was an absolute delight. He’s very energetic. If somebody took a picture of me and knew my personality, and tried to think of the exact opposite, it’s him, isn’t it? Young, enthusiastic, bouncy.
What was your relationship with Greg like?
Sort of snidey. I’m much more likely to grass to the teacher than to shout at a kid and that’s exactly what it was like. I know he’s the Taskmaster and all that, but it’s Greg. I used to gig with Greg. But then sometimes he’d be really mean. The prize task was really odd, because you all think you’ve got a brilliant idea until you’re sitting there and you really have no idea until you see what everybody else’s is, and then you’re like, “I still don’t really know how he’s going to grade these.” To be told the thing that is a treasured possession of yours, is just, “No, terrible.” And then occasionally, you’d get one that he liked and you’d feel a bit better.
Lots of contestants say Taskmaster is a bit like having therapy because you find things out about yourself. Have you had any moments like that?
I already know myself pretty well. I know the flaws, I’ve worked them all out. I’ve mined them for comedy for years! I am annoyed at how passive I was in some of the tasks
What was your relationship like with Alex?
Oh, he’s adorable. He’s obviously the brains behind the whole thing, so you know that he’s incredibly smart. I gigged with him a few times back in the day, and he was always a joy to be around. It was really nice seeing him at the tasks but every now and again, he’d really mess you up. There was a balloon one I’m still a little bit annoyed about because he was supposed to be helping me count and he said, “Oh, it all happened so fast.” No, no. You promised you were helping me! He should have just said, “I won’t help you.” I should have known not to trust him but he has such a trustworthy face. Greg’s right, he’s a prick. There were some tasks where I threw things at him, purely because I knew Greg would really enjoy that and give me extra points.
ENDS