Children and porn: a generation warped by sadistic imagery?

When I was young (“In the Victorian times?” my youngest recently asked, in all seriousness) it took a brave teenager to get hold of pornography.

The tallest, oldest-looking boy – and it was always a boy – would have to pluck up the courage , and deepen his voice, to go into the newsagents and try his luck buying a magazine off the top shelf.

Today boys and girls only need reach into their pocket for their mobile phone and , according to a new report from the Office of The Children’s Commissioner, “extremely violent and sadistic imagery” is just the press of a button away.

The report draws on a variety of international studies looking  at the relationship between children and pornography. It concludes that there is a clear link between exposure to extreme pornography at a young age and a rise in what it calls risky behaviours.

For example, those children who have accessed or been exposed to pornography are more likely to have unprotected anal or oral sex, or have sex with multiple partners.

There are some interesting and perhaps unsurprising findings about the difference between boys and girls. Boys and young men generally view pornography more positively than girls, who say it makes them feel uncomfortable.

Though the report covers a fulsome 60-odd pages, it concludes that there is very much more that is not certain about how children process  pornography that is readily available – sometimes whether or not they are actively seeking it.

Much more research is needed. Much better sex education. And – a terrifying thought for many parents – much more openness on the whole subject of sex.

Working recently on the appalling child sexual exploitation trials, I spoke to a youth worker who holds special workshops for young boys who, he says,  get all their sex education from online pornography.

Alayas Karmani, from Street UK, says boys as young as 11 and 12 ask him if it’s okay to try to choke or strangle a girl while they’re having sex. After all, that’s what always happens in the films.

Equally disturbing, he told me that young girls now think “taking a slap” is part and parcel of sex, just something that happens.

There’s an ongoing debate about what can be done to block children’s access to pornography. The government has recently said it won’t force an “opt into porn” system on internet service providers.

So for  parents, it might be time to take a lead from the teenage boys of my past – take a deep breath, pluck up the courage, and tackle the issue of pornography head on with kids.

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