Barack and David – two exchange students who haven’t hit it off

One of the best pieces of writing advice I once got from someone was “show, don’t tell.”

It’s the same with the “special relationship” and I am cringing even writing these two outworn words.

Just because the president has mentioned them again in the East Room of the White House, ticking the required box and just because the prime minister has enthusiastically tweeted them that doesn’t make it so.

In fact the popular, cultural and economic bonds between the two countries are a far better indicator of kinship and understanding (I’m not going to mention the S word) than tired rhetoric from the podium.

So where does that leave David and Barack, who David still insists on calling BarRack. It’s Barack, rhymes with Iraq. The chemistry between them has never been physical.

George and Tony clearly shared something “special” that then became a fatal attraction. So did Tony and Bill. Maggie and Ronny. But David and Barack look like two exchange students who just haven’t hit it off.

War may be an opportunity to bond around the camp fire. But Barack isn’t interested. Not in Syria, not in Libya. Nation-building overseas interests him far less than nation building at home. The bloody adventures in Iraq and Afghanistan have left him cold and bruised. Mentally he is so out of there.

The prime minister spoke passionately about Syria’s history being written in blood. The president looked on with eyes that were somewhere between vexed and bored. He is less of the “something MUST be done” and more of the “but what?” school. He is also having a terrible week on his home turf.

So that leaves Europe. The EU and the Euro pretzels are the kind of issues that remind Obama of his knottiest law exams. It’s like snakes in bag. Best left alone. Wide berth. Except like the rest of us he can’t because when even voters in Kansas get alarmed about a country called Cyprus, you can’t just put the blinkers on.

And this is where that relationship comes in again. Part of the deal is that London acts as the benign translator of a euro madness for a confused Washington. But if the madness is tearing your translator apart, what’s the point?

President Obama shored up the prime minister’s referendum strategy yesterday. But he was also saying: David get your house in order, show some leadership over your own ranks. This isn’t helping.

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