Appearing at a west London court for the second day, Nigella Lawson says she is “not proud” of using drugs, and that she would have sued Charles Saatchi for libel if she could afford it.
The celebrity chef, who previously admited she has taken cocaine and cannabis, denied that her admission was “damage limitation”.
“I’m not proud of the fact I have taken drugs but that does not make me a drug addict or a habitual drug user,” Ms Lawson said.
“The fact is, I would rather be honest and ashamed… I wasn’t going to be bullied with lies.”
Mr Saatchi was not examining me for cocaine. That’s a story he made up – Nigella Lawson
The 53-year-old is back in court today as a witness in the trial of two former personal assistants accused to spending more than £685,000 on credit cards loaned to them by Ms Lawson and Charles Saatchi. They deny all charges.
Ms Lawson has objected to stories claiming that her ex-husand was checking her nose for cocaine when photographed holding her throat.
“Mr Saatchi was not examining me for cocaine. That’s a story he made up afterwards to clear his name,” she said.
Jurors were previously read an email sent to Ms Lawson from Mr Saatchi which said the defendants would “get off” because she was “off her head” on drugs and allowed them to “spend whatever they liked”.
Ms Lawson said she had not started libel proceedings against her ex-husband because she “can’t afford it”.
“I don’t have a substantial fortune,” she said. “I feel this is my last connection with him. I don’t appreciate being bullied and I have been bullied.”
She denied making a “promise” to Mr Saatchi about not taking drugs during their marriage after she told him of her past cocaine use with her late husband.
Ms Lawson has denied being a drug addict but said she took cocaine with her late husband John Diamond when he found out he had terminal cancer, and later during her troubled marriage to Mr Saatchi.
She also admitted to smoking cannabis but said the idea that she is a “drug addict or habitual user of cocaine is absolutely ridiculous”.
Francesca Grillo, 35, and her sister Elisabetta, sometimes referred to as Lisa, 41, are accused of committing fraud by abusing their positions by using a company credit card for personal gain. They both deny the charges.
Prosecutors claim the Italian sisters lived the “high life”, spending the money on designer clothes and handbags from Louis Vuitton, Christian Dior and Vivienne Westwood.
A teenage witness, who cannot be named, told the court that Francesca had “claimed she was a shopaholic”. The boy said: “She claimed she was a shopaholic and she also tried to blame a lot of spending on her sister Lisa.”
Ms Lawson denied allegations that she was a regular cocaine user and that drug dealers would visit her home, saying she would neither sabotage her own health or leave her children as orphans.
“I promise you… regular cocaine users do not look like this,” she said. “They are scrawny and look unhealthy. If you think I’m going to sabotage my health and leave my children as orphans, you are very wrong.”