PMQs: Ed Miliband goes easy on David Cameron

You could tell it wasn’t much of a game when the crowd started to drift off even before the end. It was a Labour MP who started the rot, caught on camera slipping out of the chamber with five minutes still to go.

It had been billed as the return of the star striker Ed Miliband, back on the ball after two weeks off with injury, aka paternity leave.

He had gone away on a high lauded for his sparkling parliamentary performance, his tough grip on the shadow cabinet and his promise of a new Labour Party.

Of course that was two weeks ago last Friday and the new Labour Party is probably still at school. So the old one got on with what it does best knife
sharpening, plotting and back stabbing.

‘Questions being asked’

Ed was hardly in the queue for nappies before as Andy Grey so eloquently says on Sky Sports, “questions were being asked” about his performance.

Just eight weeks into his new job he was losing his grip, there was drift and a lack of direction.

This was not plotting, said the plotters, who happily pointed out that Labour had gone up in the polls when he was away.

Ed came back on Monday and announced opposition in politics was “frankly crap” without making it too clear who or what he was talking about.

But Wednesday’s Prime Ministers Questions was his chance to shine, to show his silky skills dribbling around both Tories and Lib Dems.

There was a tremendous cheer of relief from his own side when he came off the bench just a couple of minutes after the lunchtime kick off.

Read more on PMQs from Peter McHugh 

It wasn’t quite the return to the rough and tumble of parliamentary politics some had in mind as Ed thanked Dave for his “very generous gifts” and kind words following the birth if his new baby.

Perhaps mindful of the gifts, Ed then proceeded to give Dave a pretty easy time of it.

As Whitehall was blocked off by lines of policemen to keep away angry students complaining about the trebling of tuition fees Ed raised the slightly less thorny question of school sport.

He seized on Education Secretary Michael Gove, who clearly had not sent birth gifts, accusing him of being “high-handed, incompetent and unfair” leading Mr Gove to blush with pleasure at being singled out for such high praise from Labour’s leader.

Boom and bust

Ed, apparently not quite as match fit as he thought, sat down to catch his breath. When he popped up again over bankers’ bonuses there was a sudden spat between him and Dave over who had done worse during their time as apprentice advisers at the Treasury.

Ed had been there during the “biggest boom and biggest bust”, said Dave to Tory cheers.

“You were there on Black Wednesday,” said Ed to equally loud Labour cheers.

It sounded like a score draw on the yah boo sucks scale of modern British politics.

But as many a manager has learned this season its not just what happens on the field that counts.

As PMQs staggered towards an end Dave had the Shadow Chancellor Alan Johnson slightly squirming with a reminder that he had gone against Ed, the man who had so recently appointed him, over the 50p tax rate.

For those out of the loop Alan made a statement saying the 50p rate could be scrapped by Labour some time in the future. Ed immediately knocked him back by saying the 50p was permanent. Alan, chosen over the allegedly untrustworthy Ed Balls, the popped up again to say he still wants a time limit. So that’s one bit of Labour policy totally clear then.

Loyalty?

As Ed sat down there to squeeze him arm reassuringly was his deputy Harriet Harman who knows more about loyalty than most according to the latest tome on Labour’s last few months in power.

Critics are happy to remind us Ed didn’t get his job by winning the support of the majority of Labour MPs. They will stick by him as long as Labour stays ahead in the polls.

Still it could be worse he must have thought as Dave sat down opposite him.

There too was his his deputy Nick Clegg who had spent the past half hour looking somewhat distracted. The walls of the House of Commons may be thick but you knew he knew the people outside shouting his name were not all friendly.

Bit like being the Leader of the Labour Party.

Peter McHugh is the former director of programmes at GMTV and was this year awarded the Royal Television Society Lifetime Achievement Award.