3 Aug 2014

Why I’m privileged to have a son with Down’s syndrome

After an Australian couple reject their surrogate son who has Down’s syndrome, Kayte Brimacombe tells of the “extraordinary experience” of life with her 18-year-old son Gabriel, who has the condition.

Gabriel, pictured above with his sister Grace.

Sadly this story reflects how society rejects people with Down’s syndrome and, let’s face it, spends millions trying to eradicate them. Most people are so scared of their own vulnerabilities that they can’t bear to be confronted with people who are born with learning disabilities.

I believe they miss out on a huge gift.

My son, Gabriel has Down’s syndrome. Being his mother has been an extraordinary experience and a privilege. He has changed the lives of many people in his 18 years so far. Quite a few who had no experience of learning disability have been so affected by his presence that they have changed careers and are now working with people with learning disabilities.

People with Down’s syndrome might have tougher lives but that’s because we undervalue them. They can teach us so much with their spontaneity and lack of judgement. Their ability to live in the present with an authenticity most of us never achieve.

‘He makes me laugh’

People with Down’s syndrome are individuals first and have their own qualities. Some have jobs and get married, even learn to drive. Others, like my son, will always need full time care but they experience love and joy just like the rest of us.

My typically developing daughters can’t imagine life without their brother. My 14-year-old daughter says: “Nowadays most people think to be happy you should aspire to be famous and have money, my brother proves you don’t need any of these things….he smiles every day.”

My 9-year-old says quite simply: “He makes me laugh and always brightens up the situation.”

I believe my daughters have developed a greater capacity for empathy having a sibling like Gabriel. I know he has taught me more than I could have possibly imagined.

Shifting Perspectives is a group photographic project documenting the lives of children and adults with Down’s syndrome.

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