13 Jul 2014

World Cup coaches – what would they be in another life?

By Matthew Bell

Imagine a world where the World Cup and football didn’t exist – what on earth would the sport’s top managers be doing?

It’s an unavoidable fact that most of the World Cup’s coaches have gone home from the tournament far sooner than they’d have hoped.

While few of them are now likely to hang up their tracksuits for good, are there any lost careers that they could have fallen into?

Channel 4 News enters the parallel universe of World Cup coaches, and asks – if they weren’t in football, what would they be?

Joachim Low (Germany)

Confident, cool under pressure, popstar moptop, prone to basking in the limelight.

Alternative career: lead singer of a 70s tribute band

Straightforward, philosophical, good at planning ahead although does like to depend on a few reliable routes.

Alternative career: cabbie

Experienced, adaptable, looks good in a cardigan, coping with the progress of time quite nicely.

Alternative career: knitwear model

Big thinker of his age with a thick resilient streak.

Alternative career: philosopher

Authoritarian, impeccable taste, his first international venture was a failure but now he hopes some Russian specialties can do the trick.

Alternative career: head chef

Born to a wealthy family in Buenos Aires but recently spotted working in a south London launderette (according to a reliable C4 source).

Alternative career: launderette manager

Also the first marquis of del Bosque, plainly a country gent at heart.

Alternative career: man of leisure

Passionate, meticulous note-taker, rebellious and a tiny bit controversial.

Alternative career: student philosopher, with a long-term tulip shop plan (in case things don’t work out)