Campus: Cast of characters

23 March 2011

Jonty De Wolfe
Kirke University's idiosyncratic and strangely unsettling Vice Chancellor.

Kirke - once a concrete academic field of dreams, now a landfill of educational mediocrity - is the child Jonty never had. Now, to make his life even harder, clouds of financial doom and political grief are gathering ominously over the campus.

MATTHEW BEER

The sexually active and academically dormant English professor whose research speciality appears to be The Easy Life. Matt deftly side-steps student queries by insisting they ‘google it'

IMOGEN MOFFAT

Awkward but prodigiously talented Maths lecturer, who brought huge kudos to Kirke with the success of her best-selling book, The Joy of Zero. Much to Jonty's frustration, however, the celebrated Imogen is struggling badly with its sequel.

FLATPACK

Post-graduate student, nominally Matt's teaching assistant, but more significantly an athlete with serious international potential. Cute and bouncy and allegedly studying English Literature, Flatpack has in fact only read six books since the age of ten; three about sports science (twice each). For Jonty, however, he brings star quality and is therefore indispensible.

JASON ARMITAGE & NICOLE HUGGINS

Chief Accountant and Accommodations Officer respectively. A meeting of chalk with cheese, although this doesn't mean they can't be special friends. However, as Jason's finding it hard to dump his current girlfriend, a tangled web of deceit seems to be the best route to avoiding any awkwardness.

LYDIA TENNANT

Senior Lecturer in Mechanical Engineering who usually prefers power tools to humans - although she could find a small space for some sort of sexually-active male. Her job seems safe as she has a hugely lucrative sponsorship deal with a pharmaceutical company specialising in vivisection. And despite resembling a laboratory rat herself, there is a key difference: Lydia is a born survivor.

GEORGINA BRYAN

Canadian troubleshooter - or troublemaker as far as Jonty's concerned - head of the ruthless consultancy team tasked with ‘restructuring' Kirke. Cold-hearted and cleavage-flaunting, George is scarily ambitious.

Jonty De Wolfe
Kirke University's idiosyncratic and strangely unsettling Vice Chancellor.

Kirke - once a concrete academic field of dreams, now a landfill of educational mediocrity - is the child Jonty never had. Now, to make his life even harder, clouds of financial doom and political grief are gathering ominously over the campus.

MATTHEW BEER

The sexually active and academically dormant English professor whose research speciality appears to be The Easy Life. Matt deftly side-steps student queries by insisting they ‘google it'

IMOGEN MOFFAT

Awkward but prodigiously talented Maths lecturer, who brought huge kudos to Kirke with the success of her best-selling book, The Joy of Zero. Much to Jonty's frustration, however, the celebrated Imogen is struggling badly with its sequel.

FLATPACK

Post-graduate student, nominally Matt's teaching assistant, but more significantly an athlete with serious international potential. Cute and bouncy and allegedly studying English Literature, Flatpack has in fact only read six books since the age of ten; three about sports science (twice each). For Jonty, however, he brings star quality and is therefore indispensible.

JASON ARMITAGE & NICOLE HUGGINS

Chief Accountant and Accommodations Officer respectively. A meeting of chalk with cheese, although this doesn't mean they can't be special friends. However, as Jason's finding it hard to dump his current girlfriend, a tangled web of deceit seems to be the best route to avoiding any awkwardness.

LYDIA TENNANT

Senior Lecturer in Mechanical Engineering who usually prefers power tools to humans - although she could find a small space for some sort of sexually-active male. Her job seems safe as she has a hugely lucrative sponsorship deal with a pharmaceutical company specialising in vivisection. And despite resembling a laboratory rat herself, there is a key difference: Lydia is a born survivor.

GEORGINA BRYAN

Canadian troubleshooter - or troublemaker as far as Jonty's concerned - head of the ruthless consultancy team tasked with ‘restructuring' Kirke. Cold-hearted and cleavage-flaunting, George is scarily ambitious.

Jonty De Wolfe
Kirke University's idiosyncratic and strangely unsettling Vice Chancellor.

Kirke - once a concrete academic field of dreams, now a landfill of educational mediocrity - is the child Jonty never had. Now, to make his life even harder, clouds of financial doom and political grief are gathering ominously over the campus.

MATTHEW BEER

The sexually active and academically dormant English professor whose research speciality appears to be The Easy Life. Matt deftly side-steps student queries by insisting they ‘google it'

IMOGEN MOFFAT

Awkward but prodigiously talented Maths lecturer, who brought huge kudos to Kirke with the success of her best-selling book, The Joy of Zero. Much to Jonty's frustration, however, the celebrated Imogen is struggling badly with its sequel.

FLATPACK

Post-graduate student, nominally Matt's teaching assistant, but more significantly an athlete with serious international potential. Cute and bouncy and allegedly studying English Literature, Flatpack has in fact only read six books since the age of ten; three about sports science (twice each). For Jonty, however, he brings star quality and is therefore indispensible.

JASON ARMITAGE & NICOLE HUGGINS

Chief Accountant and Accommodations Officer respectively. A meeting of chalk with cheese, although this doesn't mean they can't be special friends. However, as Jason's finding it hard to dump his current girlfriend, a tangled web of deceit seems to be the best route to avoiding any awkwardness.

LYDIA TENNANT

Senior Lecturer in Mechanical Engineering who usually prefers power tools to humans - although she could find a small space for some sort of sexually-active male. Her job seems safe as she has a hugely lucrative sponsorship deal with a pharmaceutical company specialising in vivisection. And despite resembling a laboratory rat herself, there is a key difference: Lydia is a born survivor.

GEORGINA BRYAN

Canadian troubleshooter - or troublemaker as far as Jonty's concerned - head of the ruthless consultancy team tasked with ‘restructuring' Kirke. Cold-hearted and cleavage-flaunting, George is scarily ambitious.