Character profiles

8 July 2013

The Characters

Lance

Once upon a time, Lance Crisp, store manager of PhoneShop, Sutton, had dreams. He dreamt of being a millionaire. He dreamt of owning an Aston Martin. He dreamt of being happy. Well, that’s all behind him now - if he’s not getting it in the neck from his wife (of sorts), Shelley, then he’s getting stitched up by his loyal staff. At least he’ll always have the solace of weak tea and the sweet, soulful tunes of UB40.

 

Ashley

Intelligent and logical, Ashley is a phone-sales machine. Always able to palm off longer, more expensive contracts onto anyone foolish enough to walk through the door, Ashley believes he can read the world like a book, but his arrogance and self-regard often lead him to make decisions he ends up bitterly regretting.

Janine

Despite being stuck on Pay-As-You-Go for too long, Janine remains confident that today is the day when everything will change – that the next big step up the ladder is just moments away. Unfortunately, Janine’s desperate desire to move onwards and upwards is usually the very thing that keeps bringing her crashing back down to the grim realities of Sutton High Street.

 

Christopher

Forever NewMan, Christopher is still fighting to keep afloat in the murky waters of ‘phone sales, still trying to find a girlfriend, and still looking for a suit that will fit him.  Despite being one of life’s natural enthusiasts, even Christopher’s patience is put to the test by the pain and humiliation caused by his colleagues’ unfounded theories and ill-conceived plans.

 

Jerwayne

A lover of the finer things in life, Jerwayne is a self-confessed snob. A little vain and a lot egotistical, ladies’ man Jerwayne considers himself part of the elite of Sutton High Street, even if he does still sleep in a single bed at his Mum’s house.