Don't Look Down - Interview with Anton Ferdinand
Category: Press Pack ArticleWhy did you sign up for Don’t Look Down?
For Stand Up to Cancer. It’s been well documented that my family has had a lot of run-ins with cancer, a lot of tragedy with cancer. So, to play a small part in raising money for research to try and eradicate this awful disease, I think it was the right thing to do. Like everyone here, cancer has played a part in changing our lives for ever, and for me, I look at it and go, this is so out of my comfort zone, but… if I can play a small part in making a change and raising as much money as possible, then – especially for my mum, who sadly passed away from it – I’m doing the right thing.
You’re taking an awful situation and doing something about it, so that, hopefully, other people won’t have to experience the same pain.
My mum was known for helping people and being a shoulder to cry on. Being someone who gave advice, and just wanted to help and give back, you know, wherever she was. I’m my mother’s son, and if that small percentage of her in me can come out, it makes me feel close to her, and that’s her legacy. If I can play a part in keeping her legacy alive – I don’t really speak about it, but in myself, I know that her legacy is to help people, and if I can be a part of that and do that, it’s comforting for me.
It must also be quite motivating for you.
One hundred per cent. It is hard. My mum will be looking down and saying, “You flippin’ idiot, what are you doing? Why are you putting yourself through this?!” But also, she’ll be very proud.
I bet.
It’s therapeutic. We’ve got a fantastic cast and crew. Everyone’s shown vulnerability, everyone’s been open about their story, and it’s been a safe space to speak. From someone who’s had therapy, as a male, I understand and know that talking is good. Being thrown together with nine strangers that you don’t know, and seeing vulnerability from others, and seeing people being able to be open and speak about their fight with cancer, you know, has made it a safe space. I’m lucky to be doing this challenge with the people that I’m doing it with, and I’m very grateful.
Who have you bonded with most in the group?
Beverley Callard. She done something that she didn’t even know she was doing. She done something that made me feel like how a mother makes you feel. She’ll never be my mum, you only have one mum… but there was a situation that happened, and she done something, and I just felt safe.
Can you say what that was? Or would you rather not?
It was something simple. She pulled me and linked arms and held me, you know, and it was the timing of it, the timing was perfect.
Did you know Beverley before?
No, it was the first time I ever met her. Like I said, I feel blessed, I feel lucky to have met this fantastic cast, but yeah Beverley – that started my journey here, because it happened on the first day. It was just having that safe feeling, you know, I’ve not felt that since my mum died. To feel that, it was emotional but well-needed, for me to be able to come here, do these challenges and try to get to the finish line. That played a massive part – it kick-started my journey.
And how are you with heights? Scared of them?
I’m terrible. I have a phobia of heights. I don’t like them. I was a bit more ballsy when I was younger, but as I’ve got older and had kids, yeah, me and heights don’t really get on. So, there’s been times where I have questioned, what am I doing here?
I would have thought, perhaps naively, that someone with a sporting background would take to highwire walking quite naturally.
This is really different [from being a footballer]. I’m not flexible – far from it. David’s not flexible either, far from it. Our balance comes from our feet being shoulder-width apart… so it’s completely alien to us, to what we know and what I’ve known from the last 20 years, or longer than that.
But you’ve got the determination and, sort of, ingrained competitiveness to succeed, right?
That’s one thing I do have. I want to perfect things. And I don’t mind repetition, I don’t get bored of repetition. The number of times I’ve fallen off the wire, you get bored because you can’t do it, and as human beings we naturally – when we’re not being successful, we think, I don’t want to do it anymore. But I know if you get through that boredom stage, normally you get it. And I use that saying with my kids. So, if I use that with my kids, how can I come here and not do it? I have a responsibility to them… they’re watching me and again, that’s drive.
What’s been the toughest day of training?
Walking 200 metres up on slacks, like a ladder. It’s the most tired I’ve been… I felt emotionally, physically, mentally tired. I’d done three challenges back-to-back, and every time I have done a challenge, I’ve been s*** scared, but I’ve not felt tired, so I knew I could dig deep. Whereas that challenge, I was wondering where that fight was going to come from. It came out though.
Have there been any scares along the way?
Doing the dam, climbing up the dam. You are with a guide, but you’re stepping up there, with iron hoops that you’re climbing up… when you watch it, you’ll understand. You’ve got to unclip yourself, then clip yourself. So, there’s a wire next to you that’s got joins; there’s some parts of it you’re walking across and it’s really stiff, and there’s some parts where it’s loose, and you’re like, “That doesn’t feel right.” You’ve got to trust it. When you’ve got a fear, it’s very hard to trust what you’re doing. Out of all of them, I came off and said, “I’ll never do that again.”
Do you feel confident you’ll be able to complete the final challenge?
I feel confident in the team. My only worry and my only fear is that I’ve gone from three weeks of training to now I’m going to have a break before we do it. I’ve worked up a way to deal with fear of being at a height… going from that to not doing anything and then we have to go and do it, as much as doing the wire is like riding a bike, once you know how to do it, you do it. But the fear of heights ain’t like a bike [laughs]. When it’s there, it’s there. On the first challenge, I had a shaky leg, standing on the platform before we did the bungee, and I couldn’t control it. I fear that my time away from doing challenges and working the wire will bring that back again on the actual night we do it.