Episode synopses

25 September 2012

Episode 1: Buggy

When Jonny discovers Adam's old diary, he learns a terrible secret: when Adam was 11, he secretly dumped Jonny's beloved 'Pandy' panda bear toy in the outside bin, never to be seen again.

This unleashes a war in the house, with Jonny threatening to destroy Adam's equally beloved, old rabbit toy, 'Buggy'.  Fights rage in every room, with mum and dad are unable to control their two twenty-something sons, who have become 13 again.

Desperate to hide his precious comfort toy from his angry brother, Adam gives Buggy to just about the worst person possible - neighbour, Jim (Mark Heap).

Meanwhile, dad will not stop sneezing on everything ("He sneezed on a baby today - so embarrassing," says mum). Later, when dinner is served, dad sneezes over all the food and mum's delicious Friday night dinner is ruined.

But what happens when hopeless Jim accidentally loses Buggy in a lake? And why is Jim speaking Chinese?

 

Episode 2: Mr Morris

The boys are excited: grandma (Frances Cuka) is coming for dinner, and tonight she's bringing her new boyfriend. "He's not her boyfriend" says mum, he's her "male companion".

82 year-old Lou Morris (Harry Landis) is a horrible, vain old man, who sports a trilby, and a Hitler-ish moustache. Obsessed with cleanliness ("I'm very hygienical"), he wipes his hands on the bathroom curtains when there's no hand towel.  

Mr Morris is also the world's worst driver, parking his battered old car right up to the front doorstep, smashing his headlamp: "Your bloody house just broke my light!" shouts Mr Morris.

None of the family can see what lovely grandma sees in him. Dad can't stand the man and hides in his shed, while rifling through his box of fossils.

But none of the family are quite prepared for what happens when Mr Morris suddenly loses his temper...

 

Episode 3: The Loft

To get out of cleaning the loft with Dad and Adam, Jonny is wearing a fake sling ("I've dislocated my shoulder"). But when Adam discovers he's lying, he threatens to tell mum immediately. "Fine," says Jonny, '"Then I'll just tell her all the grotty details of what you got up to with Hayley Posner".

Adam is horrified. Hayley was Adam's blind date, who he slept with and then never called back, "because she smelt like mum". Mum mustn't find this out, so Adam has to let Jonny get away with his pretend bad shoulder.

Meanwhile mum and dad are not on speaking terms. There's been a terrible argument. Dad tells the boys that the reason - much to their horror - is 'sexual' . But what exactly he got up to, no one will tell them.

Mum's best friend - Aunty Val (Tracy-Ann Oberman), comes round for dinner to lend mum moral support, as mum's argument with Dad escalates.

What is mum and dad's terrible secret? And will mum and dad find out all about Jonny and Adam's secrets too?

All this, and a visit to the unfriendliest pub in the world - 'The Black Boy'.

 

Episode 4: The New Car

Dad is very excited. He's just bought a new fax machine. The boys can't believe it ("What's the point of using a fax machine when you've got email?" they ask. "So you don't have to read everything off a bleeding machine," replies dad).

Jonny - who's an estate agent - has been given a company car - the uncoolest car possible: it has a giant, estate agent-themed, fake brick roof on top. Adam calls it a 'house'.

Mum soon learns that Jonny bagged the car because he'd been sleeping with his boss, the much older Liz (Leslie Vickerage). Mum is not happy, and an awkward scene arises when the family bump into Liz outside Jonny's office.

Meanwhile mum has put dad on a diet - 'no chocolate, no cheese, no cakes' for two weeks, but dad has made the boys smuggle in food for him, which he keeps hidden in the downstairs loo.

Jim pops round with his dog, Wilson. He's drunk, as he's celebrating Wilson's birthday. ("Wilson is  either 4 or 9"). Jim has even made Wilson a birthday cake.

Later, returning from a 'family spin' in Jonny's car, the family find something awful has happened to their house...

 

Episode 5: The Yoghurts

Jonny is in a real pickle: he wants to split up with his 43 year old girlfriend (Liz - who's also his boss), but is too scared to do so.  Adam, meanwhile is happy to keep teasing him about her age ("I'll switch the stair lift on").

Grandma, who's come for dinner, offers Jonny some advice - "Take her out dancing", before showing him how to dance in the kitchen. While they dance to the music on the radio, it transpires that it's actually just the music for the news headlines, and before long, Jonny and Grandma are actually dancing to the news. Adam is loving it.

Meanwhile, Dad has been drying fish under the stairs,  (Dad: "Have you never had dried fish before?" asks dad "Not from a cupboard" replies Adam).

Then Grandma gets locked in the  boot of Adam's car, and everything changes. How will they get her out? And as if that isn't bad enough, Jonny's girlfriend, Liz turns up at the house. What will Jonny do?

 

Episode 6: The Mouse

The boys come home to find the house in a real state. The builders have been in, and everywhere they look, there's mess. On top of this, there's a mouse in the house, and mum is hiding in the shed. Dad - who's clueless in the kitchen - is left in charge of dinner ("I might as well be boiling a table").

But when Jim pops round to see if he can help around the house, something quite terrible happens to him, and mum is forced - out of guilt - to ask Jim over for dinner. This is Jim's happiest moment ever - finally, his first ever Friday night dinner with the Goodmans. Dad and the boys are livid with mum for asking him round.

What follows is an excruciating dinner scene; along with Jim's peculiar eating habits ("I prefer to tear my food"), Jim's conversation skills have a lot to be desired ("Martin, are you circumcised?" he asks an unsuspecting dad).

Things go from bad to worse very soon, as Jim leaves a trail of destruction in the house...