Interview with Recruit 16 - Connor
Category: Press Pack ArticleName: Connor
Recruit Number: 16
Age: 30
Profession: Professional Irish Dancer
Hometown: Newtownards, (Outside Belfast) Northern Ireland
Background
Connor was one of seven children. His mother was Catholic and his father Protestant, but he was brought up Catholic. He attended the only Catholic school in the area, which he was quite secretive about, around his local Protestant neighbours.
As a notorious Catholic sport, Connor took up Irish dancing, which he was teased about at school. He was called gay or told he was a girl for liking Irish dancing. He almost gave it up, but his mum encouraged him to keep going as he’s a really talented dancer. For the last seven years, he has been a member of Lord of the Dance and toured the world, performing in the West End and on Broadway.
Connor often gets asked when he is getting a real job, which he ignores. He is currently in the process of setting up a dance school for when he finally gives up touring the world.
Tell me about your experience on SAS: Who Dares Wins?
My experience on SAS: Who Dares Wins was a rollercoaster of a ride, a truly life changing experience. It was the toughest thing I have ever done, but I can honestly say I loved every single minute; it was the best experience of my life!
During the course you don’t think about being on TV for one second. The course is so real and authentic that your only focus is on survival, and you forget about everything outside of that. I came out of the course a changed man. I’ve always had confidence but now I believe I can overcome any obstacles that come before me. To learn from, be mentored and guided on a daily basis by such impressive former Special Forces operators was a privilege and something I’m very grateful for.
Did you find it difficult? Was it more difficult than you expected?
I think there's a reason SAS: Who Dares Wins is known as the toughest show on TV. I knew what I had signed up for. Yes, it was very difficult; it was just the most intense experience imaginable.
When you are living and breathing the course, it is 24 hours a day, seven days a week so there's no escaping the suffering. Physically, it was just as hard as I had expected but it’s the mental aspect that also grinds you down. As tough as each challenge was, the toughest thing was to try and switch off. As a recruit, you are in a state of constant anxiety, you’re always on edge, your brain just doesn’t stop thinking about what’s coming next and this adrenaline means it’s very hard to relax and sleep. We had very little time to sleep so it didn’t help when you were tossing and turning unable to nod off. Ultimately, after a few days this starts to grind you down and makes each day harder.
This along with being cold and wet for long periods, not getting much food whenever you're expending so much energy and your body being in bits from the physical challenges, means SAS: Who Dares Wins is definitely not for the feint hearted.
You experienced a chemical warfare attack as part of the series. This is the first time SAS: Who Dares Wins recruits have taken part in this type of task. How did you find that?
This was a horrendous experience. The CS gas attacks you straight away, burning your eyes, your nose, your throat and your lungs, making it incredibly difficult to do anything, so this made freeing the hostage very difficult. In that moment I just tried to not panic, I tried to hold my breath for as long as I could and if not slow my breathing down as much as possible. It sounds silly but at this stage our hands were all cut, bruised and blistered from the days before so something as simple as untying a rope became very difficult.
Have you ever done anything like this before?
No, nothing remotely like this at all.
What made you sign up?
I signed up to SAS: Who Dares Wins because I wanted to challenge the stereotypes attached to male dancers. As an Irish dancer, I’ve always been teased about being a wimp, girly and called gay because of my passion. I want to show that a male dancer can be masculine, powerful and tough and that dancers in general are as strong physically and mentally as anyone. My cause was to try to show any young upcoming male dancers, or anyone who does a sport or discipline that isn’t perceived as ‘manly’, that you can be strong, tough and overcome obstacles that are put in front of you. That it doesn't matter what other people think, if you have a passion then pursue that passion with all your strength and heart.
I don’t think anything is more polar opposite of Irish Dancing than Special Forces training so I thought it would be the ultimate challenge to test myself to see if I can mix it with the best of the best.
What training did you do in preparation for this course?
My training regime was very intense. I didn’t want to leave anything to chance so I made sure I gave everything in my preparation. I have to be very fit for my job as a dancer, so that meant I had a decent base to start with. I was starting early in the morning doing two to three sessions per day, everything from strength sessions in the gym, running, and hill training whilst wearing boots, hiking with a weighted backpack, running up hills with tyres over my shoulders, swimming along with sea swimming to adapt to cold water, lots of core work and lots of HIIT training. Week by week my training progressed and upped in intensity, whether that be with volume or weight. I went to some really dark places in my training to ensure I was as physically and mentally prepared as possible. Just as important as my training was my one rest day each week, enabling my body to recover from the huge workload.
Now that you have this experience, would you like to join the real Special Forces?
I’m more of a lover than a fighter so I’m not sure I’d be much use in a conflict situation. I have some unfinished business with my dancing career so at the moment that takes precedence for me. Never say never.
What was the best part of the series for you?
I loved listening to the DS every day, to be trained by them was incredible! These guys are the best of the best, hugely experienced, and to be able to listen, learn and be mentored by them was a privilege.
I loved the bonds that were created with the other recruits. We are a diverse bunch brought together by our own personal reasons to take on the course, we went through it all together. I’ve made friends for life, friends who share the same heart and mindset as myself.
I loved all of the physical tasks, from the backwards dive, extraction from the water onto a boat, abseiling from the top of an oil rig, the fighting tasks even though I’m not really a fighter and the Murderball even though it was brutal. We travelled a lot on boats and ribs, which I loved along with all the hiking as the scenery in Scotland was breath-taking.
What was the hardest part of the series for you?
The most difficult tasks for me were the weapons/hostage task and the sickener. If you failed a task it was a horrible feeling because you only had one shot, that was hard to take.
Each physical task was ridiculously difficult but I felt I could dig deep, keep ploughing forward and get through it.
But overall, I think the toughest part was the daily grind, getting very little sleep, limited food, being cold and wet constantly, no showers or hot water, not being able to relax, keeping our fires burning, our nightly lookout rota from the watch tower, having to do jobs back at the camp. Drying our clothes and boots took forever and was sometimes impossible, so putting on wet clothes in the morning wasn’t pleasant. All these things grind you down, along with your body being sore, cuts and bruises everywhere. It’s a real test that gets tougher day by day.
What is your biggest fear and has this experience helped you get over that fear?
My biggest fear has always been the fear of failure. I turned that fear around and used it as fuel for this course. This course has taught me that failure is going to be part of life, but it's how you react to that failure, to go again and to never give up!
You had to share all your space with women for the whole time you were there, including sleeping and toilets. How did you find that?
Not an issue at all, we were a group of people brought together on this course for our own very different reasons. Gender, colour, nationality, sexual orientation etc didn’t come into it. I've never gone to the toilet next to a woman that I’ve just met before this experience, but I mean we were all in the same situation and we just had to get on with it.
Would you ever do it again?
Yes! Without a doubt, no questions asked. Take me back!
What do you think you’ve learnt about yourself?
I learned that my heart and drive are unrelenting and take a lot of stopping and that my body is capable of taking so much more pain and suffering than I ever thought.
Even though I’m not a fighter, I learned that I can harness and use aggression in the right way when needed.
I learned that I have a tendency to freeze in alien, high pressure situations. I was like a deer in the headlights on one particular task, and this caught me off guard. As annoyed as I was, I learned that it's okay to make mistakes! They are part and parcel of life. It's about reacting in the right manner, providing you learn from your mistake and move forward then it becomes part of the journey.
Has being on the series changed your life in anyway?
Yes, being on the course has given me a belief that I can overcome any obstacle put in front of me. Doing the basic and small things to a high standard consistently, will bring with it results. From coming out of the course I’m very much on board with aiming to get comfortable, being uncomfortable!