THE RECRUITS

10 April 2022

Abigail
Recruit: 4
Age:  27
Profession:  Personal Trainer
Hometown/Region:  Swansea
Interesting fact about yourself: I can do the worm forwards & backwards

Biography: Abigail is a powerlifter, bodybuilder and personal trainer who lives with her long-term boyfriend in Swansea. Abigail first stepped into the gym at 11 years old and realised that she was different from her family, being the first to take a serious interest in sport.

She grew up with her Mum, Dad and sister until her parents divorced when she was 15. It was a challenging time and at 16 Abigail moved out of home, taking on a lot of responsibility for someone her age. She recalls being extremely shy as a child and rarely pushed herself outside of her comfort zone.

Five years ago, Abigail took up powerlifting and bodybuilding. She felt her muscular physique showed she wasn’t weak and helped her feel stronger mentally.

 

Why did you decide to take part in SAS: Who Dares Wins?
Because I felt like it would be the biggest challenge I could ever take part in. Nothing would be quite like it - which was correct. Nobody could ever push me to my limits quite like this show did. I wanted to do things I’d never attempt at home and see how physically strong I am along with where my mental ability would allow me to go. I wanted to learn things about myself & take my life to the next level, which it definitely has.

What did you hope to get out of this experience?
I wanted to improve & better myself. I lived such a normal safe life that I couldn’t break out of. I wanted to be pushed out of my comfort zone so that I could see more to life. I wanted to learn more about myself & see how far physically and mentally I could be pushed. I’m scared of everything, so I needed to do something extreme to make me realise I am capable of more.

How did you prepare for the course? Any training?
I trained for about 5 - 6 weeks intensely for the show (when I knew I was on for definite). I ran long distance, weight lifted and climbed lots of mountains with weight on. I climbed Pen Y Fan mountain in South Wales a lot, even at night around 12 - 3am to prepare for late nights on the show. I did lots of body weight exercises like pull ups and press ups. I ate less than usual (a lot to do with nerves but it prepared me for the lack of food on the show). I tried to do a lot of mindset training and watching YouTube videos to try and calm my mind and get ready for the pain.

What part of the course did you find the hardest?
I found the anxiety of not knowing what was coming next the worst part for me. Never knowing when the DS was going to call us out or if I took my sleeping bag out of my Bergen not being able to get it back in in time.  I was on edge constantly. I didn’t even feel tired or sleepy because I was so anxious all the time. I also found sleeping in wet clothes (it felt so cold at night) & getting cold clothes back on and off at night mentally difficult as it was so horrible (for me).

Mental or physical – which challenged you the most?
100 % mental. Physically I was pretty fine. I was able to keep pushing however my mind and mental state was deteriorating towards the end of my time and I found that very difficult. However I have no regrets and no lasting damage to my mental health.

How did you cope with the searing Jordanian heat? Were you prepared for the climate?
It didn’t actually affect me as much as I thought it would. I was hydrated all the time and I got used to it quite quickly. I didn’t think about the heat very much as I was focussing a lot on what the task was at hand was - that was usually more painful! We were covered up well (hats & long sleeved tops) so I didn’t feel like I was burning at any point.

How did you feel going into the challenge?
I was extremely nervous I struggled to eat in the last month before going in because my nerves were so bad. I am quite a nervous person so it was quite normal for me to be this way however it was a long time to be anxious for. However, I did feel I had done everything I could and that I was more than prepared physically for what was to come. Mentally I was unsure how I would cope - but I didn’t realise how anxious I actually was going to be. I was shocked at how emotional I actually was on the show as I don’t show emotions and very rarely cry at all!

Was your SAS experience as you expected? What was different? What was as expected? And why?
It was what I expected in the sense of it being the hardest thing I have and ever will do. It was a lot harder than expected but I also didn’t think I would do as well as I did. I didn’t think I’d be so scared or anxious of everything and I was very quiet which is unlike me. I’m glad I did it. It was waaaaay out of my comfort zone (I knew it would be but didn’t think it would be this far) so it took me to places I never knew I would go. I met some amazing people - I thought maybe some of my fellow recruits would be competitive and maybe I would not click with any, but everybody was lovely, and I didn’t feel any sense of competition between anyone. I thought I might be better at opening up about my life and history etc but as usual I really struggled and held back massively which I’m fine with, but some of me wishes I could have been able to open up more.

What is your biggest fear?
On the show it was flying & heights, which we did a lot of. I knew it would happen, but it’s what I needed. I also fear showing too much emotion and crying which I discovered on the show. I realised I fear disappointment too which I thought I didn’t really care about but clearly do!

Were you surprised to find 2 of the DS were American?
Yes, I was surprised they were American. I thought maybe we’d have Israeli DS but that was just a little guess. They were amazing - really hardcore, but also helped me with my anxiety.

What did you learn or take from each of the DS?
What I learnt was they weren’t there to be ‘nasty’, they were there to train us and for us to learn. Even though they come across scary and angry, it’s to break us down to build us back up. I wouldn’t change the way they handled anything - it was part of the experience, and it was what I signed up for. I learned a lot from what they have experienced in the past too - and that this course is just a tiny, tiny taste of what they actually went through themselves. Remi had the biggest impact on me - he taught me to use my anxiety as a strength and even when I’m terrified to go for it anyway - it’s the only way to overcome it. And I’m extremely thankful for that.

Did you notice a big difference between the US and UK DS instructors?
I did notice quite a difference. I found the Americans very vocal and slightly more involved whereas the UK ones were quieter but very stern and I felt they were watching from a distance and ready to jump in when needed. It was a great combination.

Did you see a real brotherhood between the US and UK DS?
The combination of both personalities really brought together a good team. I felt they were able to teach us all from different experience they all have had. . All in all I think they worked great as a team and allowed each other to take their turns to involve themselves in the process.

Did you form any close bonds with your fellow recruits?
I was very reserved and quiet, so I feel I didn’t create the bonds I’d hoped to find, which is down to myself. There wasn’t anyone I didn’t get along with however a few recruits I bonded with more than others.  I feel I bonded with Claire on the show as we were buddies and Flo as we were sleeping next to each other. James, Tom & Justyn I created quite a nice bond with too, which still stands now. After the show though I created quite a tight bond with Pahrnia which was a surprise to me as she was very confident and loud. .

Were there any arguments or did you operate pretty well as a team?
There were no arguments really that I recall - some very small disagreements but they were sorted quickly. We got on really well as a whole and there’s nobody I can say I didn’t get along with.

What did you learn about yourself from this experience?
I learnt that I am very physically strong. I can keep going and going and going longer than I ever thought I could. I also learnt that when I put my mind to it, I’m very focussed and everything I did I did it really well. I’m frightened of heights and flying but I managed to do all the challenges and do them well. I work well under pressure which I never knew. Sand doesn’t bother me that much. I can cope well with heat more than I thought! I can cry!!! As I never cry normally. Definitely not scared of water. Mentally I am strong but I have things to work on. I would never do this experience again but I’m so glad it did it!!

 

Cat
Recruit: 16
Age: 36
Profession:  Search and Rescue Winch Paramedic
Hometown/Region: Fareham

Biography: Cat is a Search and Rescue Winch Paramedic working for the Coastguard’s land and sea helicopter rescue service, having previously been an ambulance paramedic. She is driven by the need to help others in danger.

She grew up on the island of Lewis and Harris in the remote Outer Hebrides with her parents and two sisters. However, in 1995 Cat’s family moved to Dunblane. She was 11 years old when the Dunblane Massacre took place at the primary school she normally attended - on that particular day, she had called in sick.

In the years after the event, she struggled with feelings of survivors’ guilt, always wondering if she could have done something had she been there. In 2014 Cat lost her boyfriend in a tragic accident while she was away on holiday, compounding her previous feelings of guilt and she feels she has carried this burden ever since.

Cat has struggled with her confidence over the years and wants to do the course to prove to herself that she has the ability to take on anything, and to give her the strength to be kind to herself and put the events of the past behind her.Why did you decide to take part in SAS: Who Dares Wins?
A combination of wine, peer pressure and an innate need for adventure and challenge in my life.

What did you hope to get out of this experience?
I wanted to be pushed to my limits mentally and physically in the hope of learning what I am truly capable of and building some self-belief. 

How did you prepare for the course?  Any training? 
Life was pretty hectic in the lead up, so I didn’t really have any time to specifically train for the programme Although I did attempt one walk/run with a weighted bergen about a week before going which made me realise, I probably should have done a little more prep.

What part of the course did you find the hardest? 
The whole thing was just a bit brutal.  But probably the hardest part was when we were in teams and I felt like I was the weak link of our team - that was when I really wanted to hand in my number.  I hate the idea of letting people down.

Mental or physical – which challenged you the most?
The physical made the mental hard and the mental made the physical hard.

How did you cope with the searing Jordanian heat?  Were you prepared for the climate?
HA! Putting a Scot in that heat and then beasting them daily was just cruel.  I most definitely was not prepared for it.

How did you feel going into the challenge?
Excited and nervous.  I questioned if I really wanted to do it on many occasions.

Was your SAS experience as you expected?  What was different?  What was as expected? And why?
The experience was mentally harder than I expected.  I assumed that I would not be physically strong enough to get through the whole course and that at some point the DS would make me give them my number.  I never expected that I would want to give them my number and that my mind would be the weak part of me. 

What is your biggest fear?
Letting people down and not living up to expectations.

Were you surprised to find 2 of the DS were American?
Not particularly, although I might have been at the time, it’s all a bit of a blur!  I knew there was going to be new DS so I guess I just took them being American as part of the new set up.

What did you learn or take from each of the DS? 
Mainly I learnt that I am mentally weaker than I thought I was and that I need work on that if I am to fulfil my potential.  But that I do have it in me to do so.

Did you notice a big difference between the US and UK SAS instructors? 
I would say that all the instructors are unique and have their own personality but that it wasn’t so much a UK vs US thing.

Did you see a real brotherhood between the US and UK DS? 
There seemed to be a mutual respect between them but as recruits we weren’t witness to a huge amount of interaction between the 4 DS.  Or at least I wasn’t but that maybe because I was too busy wallowing in my own little pit of pain and misery…

Did you form any close bonds with your fellow recruits? 
Yeah, I felt a really strong bond develop pretty quickly with some of the other recruits.  In such an intense environment you rely on your peers to get you through. There were some seriously strong, inspirational and funny people in our group and I fully relied on them at times.

Were there any arguments or did you operate pretty well as a team? 
I don’t think there were any major arguments.  With an experience like this there are always going to be slight disagreements and some niggles between folk but I honestly think our group got on and supported each other really well.  Although the fact I think this maybe means that it was me who was getting on everyone’s nerves?!

What did you learn about yourself from this experience? 
Mainly the experience taught me how much more I have in me at the point my mind is telling me I am done.

 

Claire
Recruit: 3
Age: 36
Profession: Health and Wellness Coach
Hometown/Region: Kent
Interesting fact about yourself: I have a phobia of baked beans

Biography: Claire is a professional bodybuilder who has competed extensively in the UK and abroad. She’s had 4 boxing fights in the UK and taken part in wrestling competitions in Germany. She works as a Personal Trainer and life coach and is passionate about championing women. When she was a child Claire says she was cheeky and confident, but as a teenager she railed against her strict parents. At 17, she moved out of the family home, beginning a new relationship with an older man. She later became  the later became pregnant and when she and the father split up, she made the decision to bring up her child herself.  She and her daughter, now 16, have a very strong bond.

Why did you decide to take part in SAS: Who Dares Wins?
I feel I am strong mentally and physically but also believe that everyone is breakable. I’ve been broken in many aspects of my life and always bounced back, fought hard and got on with life, SAS is a challenge for me to see how my barriers will be broken down to my core and it’s how I will bounce back from it, what I will learn from it and what I can teach other women in their lives.

What did you hope to get out of this experience?
I know before I went on the show, I held my emotion in and don’t talk enough to people who love and care for me. I’m hoping to be able to break the emotional barrier and learn how to talk and express my emotions instead of always dealing with it in my head.

How did you prepare for the course?  Any training?
Physically - It was tough because I had no idea if I would even make it on. We found out 4 weeks before, so I just trained hard in the hope I would get selected…plus I had no idea where we would be filming, so I prepared as much as I could. I did a lot of heavy weighted circuit training five times a week, and 4 weight sessions a week. I also trained with military boots and a 20kg rucksack…doing deadlifts, jumps, squats, the lot with it on my back. I went on the stairmaster and treadmill with the boots and rucksack on too. Long hikes weighted and boots all the time. I hate running, I am not a runner, but I did start to do some runs, it reminded me of when I used to box and had to run - horrid! I’m not a strong swimmer just because I don’t swim, so I started going to the local swimming pool a few times a week. I also managed to squeeze in two Brazilian Ju Jitsu sessions a week. I don’t think had a rest day for weeks. I also did some weapons training, map reading training with a very good friend of mine who was in the military years back. He did wonder why I was wanting to train but I couldn’t tell him, he just thought it was me being me and wanting to try something new AGAIN haha!  Once in quarantine in Wadi Rum I trained at all different times there to acclimatise to the weather. I did a mix of running in the morning in sand, HIIT training body weight and there were random tyres everywhere, so I used them to train with, army crawling, lift and carry with tyres, even dragged my big suitcase onto the sand and used it as equipment dragging it up and down the small sand dunes hahaha. Honestly it was hardcore training, but nothing could have really prepared me for the real McCoy!!! Mentally - I meditated every night to relax my mind, had candlelit baths, daily affirmations, and gratitude as well as visualisations to be selected to take part and when I was selected. I then visualised situations I had seen on the show. I would push myself hard in the gym making sure that when I felt I couldn’t physically do anymore to the point of crying. I wouldn’t stop and I would make myself complete another round. I called this mind training - the mind is stronger than the body so I made sure I carried on through the tears and the pain.  Pain is temporary, I told myself every time. This is how I pushed mentally and trained my mind to just carry on. I also had to prepare myself mentally for when I would be called into the DS office. I assessed what my issues are, outlined them and really got to the bottom of them digging deep into my mind dragging things up from my past that I through I had forgotten about,  I really buried some things but I opened up the doors to deal with them again, many times I would cry, I would laugh, I would scream, but I got through what I felt like I had to at that time - kinda like self-therapy. It worked!

What part of the course did you find the hardest?
The Sickener challenge. I’ve never experienced anything like it, to the point I felt like my body was a shell, my mind was the only thing pulling me up and down the sand dunes. I felt like my mind was dragging my body behind. Like a spirit I could see my body being dragged. I felt like a zombie. It was as hard or harder than interrogation.

Mental or physical – which challenged you the most?
Hmmmm, well anything to do with running killed me.I’m no runner and boy I wish I did more of it. Some challenges were a breeze and some hard! Mentally I was tested for sure! But my mind is what got me through it. My mind pushed harder than my body 100%!!!! I feel I was middle of the pack physically - so if I had to choose, I would choose physically and I would train harder if there was a next time - would love that hahaha. I think...!

How did you cope with the searing Jordanian heat?  Were you prepared for the climate?
The heat actually wasn’t too bad - we acclimatised for a week in quarantine. The humidity was good, but the temperature in the evening was soooooo cold. I hate the cold. I really don’t operate well. I’m glad it was hot. Don’t get me wrong, it was harder because it was hot, but I preferred it. 

How did you feel going into the challenge?
I felt strong mentally and physically, but it is 100 times harder than it looks on TV. We have to take into consideration lack of sleep, lack of food, and burning a shit load of calories during the day. But I felt strong.

Was your SAS experience as you expected?  What was different?  What was as expected? And why?
It was amazingly horrific hahaha. No - it was a lot harder than I thought. Honestly it was the best experience of my life, after the birth of my daughter of course. The fact we had no idea where we were going was mentally tough as I’m so structured in life, but once we hit Jordan and I knew we were in the hot rather than cold it was amazing. I expected it to be hard with the lack of sleep and food , but it was harder than I thought. I’ve done many bodybuilding shows being on low calories and not sleeping much, but then I could rest when I wanted. On SAS, oh no! Hardly any rest, no choice but to keep going. It is REAL! I thought maybe they take it easy on the recruits off camera but HELL NO!The cameras are on 24/7 and the DS are on your case all the time. This is REAL there is no easing off. It’s as real as it gets.

What is your biggest fear?
Never seeing my daughter again!!! That is the only fear I have in life. She is my life.

Were you surprised to find 2 of the DS were American?
Pleasantly surprised! When I saw the Americans DS I thought “Woooo, damn, we have some eye candy,” but believe me, don’t judge a book by its cover, they were brutal! Remi has this smile, it’s charming at first but, oh no, you just want to run as soon as you see it once you know, haha! And Rudy, he just has this strong, athletic, beautiful structure but then there is this look of ‘don’t fuck with me!’ They were tough! Real tough! They all were, to be fair.

Did you notice a big difference between the US and UK instructors?
The thing is they all have their own ways of instructing us and are all unique in their own ways . I wouldn’t know the difference as I’ve not been beasted by a UK or US solider before hahahaha!

Did you see a real brotherhood between the US and UK DS?
The bond between the DS looked real, they ggelled well to me, and worked amazingly as a team and really got us working hard. If there was no bond, then I reckon us recruits wouldn’t have bonded well. They showed and demonstrated a real bond which in turn we looked up to and all bonded well as recruits too.

Did you form any close bonds with your fellow recruits?
Whilst on the course I was close with Abi. She was number 4, so we were next to each other all the time. After the show finished me and Paige become really good friends, in fact new besties, and are even business partners on our new venture to help other women. Really exciting times, watch this space. Also Cat, Sarah and Flo. To be honest, most recruits have a good relationship off screen, we have met up as a group at Christmas and are always in contact via our WhatsApp group.

Were there any arguments or did you operate pretty well as a team?
Nope I didn’t have any arguments with anyone, in fact I don’t think there were any arguments at all, I feel we worked very well as a team and I was there for my fellow recruits if they needed me.

 What did you learn about yourself from this experience?
It may sound dramatic, but whilst in the desert in quarantine I felt like my soul had been relit. I had no hustle and bustle of life to distract me, just me myself and my thoughts, to reflect on life, praise myself and try to forgive myself for the things I find hard to let go. This part only started to happen whilst in the course. I really have learned to slow down – I’m always rushing around, or trying to keep myself busy to distract my mind from the troubles inside of my head. I also started the journey of showing emotion, expressing how I am feeling and being a little open with myself and to my loved ones. One of the reasons I wanted to come on SAS was also to be helped to express emotion. So, before I went on, I told myself to not hold back, which I didn’t when the DS were talking to me in the mirror rooms. I let loose maybe a little too much, but I feel it is because there was so much built up inside of me. I just wanted to let it all out, out of my mind, out of my feelings and emotions. This is the reason I wanted to be on the show, to be broken down to my core, to revel a different side of me. Since being back I am a lot calmer in my life. If I feel down, low or have an issue I will speak to my sister or best friend. I’m learning every day. My mission is to help other women in the same situation as me and help them express emotion and feeling without feeling alone, because no-one should feel alone. We need to talk and that’s what I have finally managed to do. I now don’t have a demon in my head telling me to “just get on with it,” - I know it is ok to ask for help. 

 

Dylan
Recruit: 2
Age:  24
Profession: Scaffolder
Hometown/Region: Blackburn

Biography: Dylan is a 24-year-old scaffolder from Blackburn. He’s cheeky, sociable and competitive. A passionate runner, he is also a keen footballer and a travel addict. His dad is an ex-marine and his brother is currently training for the marines. He describes his childhood as ‘picture perfect’ until he reached 20 in 2017. In May that year, Dylan’s mum and younger sister were at an Ariana Grande concert where a suicide attacker detonated a bomb as thousands of people were leaving the Manchester Arena. Dylan’s mum was one of 22 killed. She was killed instantly while his sister was mercifully unharmed. Since losing his mum he has spent the past 4 years raising money for charities in his mum’s honour.

In the past Dylan has found it hard to speak about his feelings surrounding the death of his mum. Being the eldest he felt he “had to be the one that kept a brave, happy face” for his younger brother and sister. Dylan’s motivation to keep positive is that “life can be taken away from you in the click of a finger, so I have no other choice than to move forward and make the most of things. Mum will always be with me.”

 

Why did you decide to take part in SAS: Who Dares Wins?
I decided to take part in SAS who dares wins as I tragically lost my mother (Michelle) on 22 of May 2017, in the Manchester Arena Bombings. This understablly turned my life upside down. I wanted to prove to myself how far I have come both mentally and physically since, and to further prove to myself that I have come out stronger from the unfortunate circumstances. I am a huge mental health advocate, with many people around me suffering in some way, I wanted to come on to the show to raise more awareness and hopefully do work in the future to help people who suffer, as I believe I can use my own personal experience to help other who may be struggling. I have done a lot of charity work since losing my mother, organising charity golf days, raising over £40,000 in total to give back to the Manchester hospitals who helped the injured from the horrific events. I wanted to take part in the show and raise more awareness for the work I have been doing and hopefully then be able to organise more charity days and raise more money for the hospitals who provided the much-needed care during that time.

What did you hope to get out of this experience?
I wanted to find out how strong I am mentally by pushing myself to my limits. I thought it would better me as a person and I needed a mental push to see what my mind and body could go through.

 How did you prepare for the course?  Any training?
I prepared for the course by training in my gym at home, and going on runs. I stopped drinking alcohol to try and ‘up’ my health as much as possible as I knew it would be strenuous.

 What part of the course did you find the hardest?
Being cold at night impacted me a lot, and being cut off from the outside world as I am very close to my family especially my sister and my friends.

Mental or physical – which challenged you the most?
Mentally, I felt on edge of what was to come and felt I couldn’t truly switch off as I was always on edge about when we would get woken up and what challenges they may throw out to us next.

How did you cope with the searing Jordanian heat?  Were you prepared for the climate?
Training at home in lots of clothes as I was preparing myself for heat, I do feel like I was prepared.

How did you feel going into the challenge?
Excited to see what was to come.

Was your SAS experience as you expected?  What was different?  What was as expected? And why?
It was extremely difficult. I didn’t expect it to be that intense.

What is your biggest fear?
Commitment.

Were you surprised to find 2 of the DS were American?
No.

What did you learn or take from each of the DS?
I learnt nothing was impossible.

Did you notice a big difference between the US and UK instructors?
I thought the Americans were less strict!

Did you see a real brotherhood between the US and UK DS?  Tell me about that.
Yes, they had a tight connection and mutual respect.

Did you form any close bonds with your fellow recruits?
Yes, with Paige, Jamie, Leo, Claire and Pahrnia.

Were there any arguments or did you operate pretty well as a team?
No arguments, we all worked together as a good team.

What did you learn about yourself from this experience?
I have learnt that I am able to put my mind to, and focus on things, a lot better than I originally thought. I was able to give something my all and fully commit to being the best I could be. I pushed myself to my limits and then some which has made me realise how mentally strong I can be. I learnt a lot about myself, when things get tough people are there. Everyone has a story. Everyone has been through their own stuff.

 

Florence
Recruit: 6
Age:  27
Profession:  Communications Manager
Hometown/Region: London
Interesting fact about yourself: I went to university when I was 16

Biography: Flo is a 27-year-old communications manager based in London. Flo spent her childhood in Hong Kong but after the recession in 2008, her mum took her to Paris to start a new life whilst her dad continued working in Hong Kong. Flo had to go to a French secondary school without knowing any French but she can now speak 5 languages. When Flo was 15, Flo became her mum’s sole carer whilst juggling exams, staying on top of household work and bills and applying for university. Flo went to Warwick University and has since made the UK her home.

 

Despite being a successful communications manager and a great success in her fitness endeavours, Flo still struggles with imposter syndrome. She says she wants to do this course to defy stereotypes of femininity, especially within the Asian community, where fitness isn’t a priority and the preference is for petite frames. Growing up, Flo was self-conscious about her body because she was active and had visible muscles and big quads. She’s become more comfortable with a muscular physique over the years and wants to inspire other Asian women to see that there is beauty in what their body is able to do not just in its appearance.

 

Why did you decide to take part in SAS: Who Dares Wins?
Applying to SAS: WDW was an emotional experience for me. It was first and foremost a challenge that scared me, but I wanted to learn more about myself and what I was truly capable of. Independent from a young age, I wanted to see if I was as adaptable and resilient as I thought I was. Most importantly, however, I wanted to take part to challenge societal norms – and notably beauty ideals and definition of Asian females. Growing up, I was told that strength was undesirable, muscles unattractive and I was even at times stereotyped. I have always forged my own way in life, so I want to show others that we are so much more than what society thinks of us – the opposite of feeble, reliant and any stereotypes.

What did you hope to get out of this experience?
I wanted to expose myself to more than undesirable conditions and fears to see if I could overcome them. This was the challenge that I knew would change my outlook on life, and I wanted to learn from that.

How did you prepare for the course?  Any training?
My training mainly consisted of CrossFit training, so it was multi discipline ranging from Olympic weightlifting, gymnastics and cardio. Although I am not one to shy away from a physical challenge, I have never been a natural with the wild outdoors let alone the cold and wet conditions that I was exposed to on the course, so I trained myself with cold water immersion and open water swimming in lakes (I have stopped that now that I am back in the comfort of my own home, I respect those who do this often!) I also spent time learning to meditate and breathe to help me confront stressful situations on the course. I learnt to self-validate – as validation is definitely something that you don’t get on the course, and it can wear you down.

What part of the course did you find the hardest?
I could barely sleep the first two nights on the course as I was overwhelmed with anxiety, then I had to sleep in a wet and cold sleeping bag on the second night. The toughest challenge for me was the ascent up the mountain and  sprints up and down the sand dune on day 5. It was the hardest I had to ever push myself mentally to finish (my body having given up on me, I had no speed at all and all I wanted was to get to the end of it) and to have the DS tell me it still wasn’t good enough broke me that night, but that motivated me to push even harder.

Mental or physical – which challenged you the most?
I like to think I can endure pain and talk myself up when I’m feeling unsure about something, but every time I feel my breathing go out of whack, everything goes out of the window. So those climbs up the mountain with the bergen  on really challenged me.

How did you cope with the searing Jordanian heat?  Were you prepared for the climate?
Although there was the odd day when I felt heat stroke coming on, I much preferred the heat to the cold, especially after any tasks in the sea. The heat made breathing quite difficult especially during the beastings during the day, but I just zone out and focus on the task at hand.

How did you feel going into the challenge?
Honestly, I felt quite unprepared. I felt that I hadn’t run enough, that I wasn’t fast enough or tough enough compared to the other recruits.

Was your SAS experience as you expected?  What was different?  What was as expected? And why?
It was tougher than I thought, with all the tasks and conditions combined. The impact of sleep and anxiety ate away at my confidence and performance on the course. Time was the first casualty on the course – a day felt like eternity, and you never knew what else was coming. Nonetheless I learnt a huge amount and did things I’d never thought I’d do. I was also very appreciative of the advice I got from the DS. I was thankful for the other recruits, it really felt like a camaraderie that I can rely on after the course.

What is your biggest fear?
Failing. And there was a lot of it on the course. I was nervous with heights at the start, but it got better as I was exposed to it frequently.

Were you surprised to find 2 of the DS were American?
Yes. They were terrifying! Not only did they look intimidating, their beastings were also brutal. However, I really respected them and saw them as father figures whom I learnt a lot from.

What did you learn or take from each of the DS?
Foxy – just to get on with things and quit moaning about things.
Billy – to do everything with intention and intensity but also to be human and have a laugh even if things get tough.
Rudy –  the importance of perseverance no matter what life hands you.
Remi – Learn to drive!Because I got beasted for a whole afternoon for not having a driving license, but he also helped me see the strength in me. I cried so hard in his arms when I came out  the other side as I felt I’d let him down.

Did you notice a big difference between the US and UK instructors?
I felt that the US DS were scarier – probably because they were new faces and the reputation of the US armed forces.  But once I got to know them, they were such inspiring and down-to-earth people who really wanted us to get the most out of the course and succeed.

Did you see a real brotherhood between the US and UK DS?
I definitely did – they certainly worked well to beast us! Most importantly we were told often about how the bond between UK and US military transcends through history and how important it is to work together despite differences.

Did you form any close bonds with your fellow recruits?
I most certainly did. We were ecstatic when we all found each other on social media after the course, and had some lovely reunions. I often train with some of the recruits, sharing our passion for crossfit training. What we experienced is so difficult to understand for our friends and families sometimes, so it is great to maintain this bond with fellow recruits.

Were there any arguments or did you operate pretty well as a team?
There were times when it would get heated during tasks as we were all so tired and frustrated, but nothing notable stands out. We worked well as a team and every time we saw someone struggle, we supported each other. I didn’t feel that there was any bad blood.

What did you learn about yourself from this experience?
That I deserve to give myself a lot more credit than I do. I used to often tell myself that I’m mediocre and not good enough to succeed – whether in life or in crossfit competitions – but I now doubt myself a lot less and feel much more confident in asking for what I want at work and in life.

 

James
Recruit: 12
Age: 39
Profession: Gym Owner
Hometown/Region: Bristol
Interesting fact about yourself: I auditioned for the milkybar kid

Biography: 39-year-old James is a gym owner who lives in Bristol with his girlfriend. He grew up in Essex with his parents, older sister and younger brother, and says that there was a lot of love in the house. He describes himself as an active child, “I wasn’t very academic at all. I was definitely the class clown. My lack of attention meant I would get frustrated more than anything and, in turn, would do very little apart from mess about!”

Nine years ago, on the day of their grandfather’s funeral, James’s brother went missing. He told the family he had to run an errand and would meet them at the funeral, but he never arrived and hasn’t been seen since. For his sibling to disappear without a trace is a bitter pill to swallow for James. He says he still struggles with the cycle of hope and despair, and he thinks about his brother daily. James is very confident in his physical ability to do well on the course, but it’s the mental challenge that interests him. James wants to participate in order to face his own demons. He says he feels that he hasn’t always faced every situation with courage and wants to test his mettle.

Why did you decide to take part in SAS: Who Dares Wins?
So many reasons; I was turning 40 and feel the best I’ve ever felt so wanted to put myself to the test. I’ve never really been broken down so I wanted to know how much I could endure and where or how I might break. My brother disappeared 10 years ago, so I also wanted to create awareness of that through my presence and story within the show.

What did you hope to get out of this experience?
A better understanding of myself, my weaknesses and frailties as well as to create awareness and use it as a platform to try to find my brother.

How did you prepare for the course?  Any training?
All the training! Specifics are too long but,  I spent the last few years trying to make myself “bulletproof” as I reached 40.

Mental or physical – which challenged you the most?
Neither - Emotional. I get that it falls within the realms of mental but it’s very specific and nuanced. I never really felt stressed at all, but I guess the accumulation of always wondering what’s next surprised me more than anything.

How did you cope with the searing Jordanian heat?  Were you prepared for the climate?
I figured we’d be in a hot climate after getting the boots, so bought myself a sauna suit, did plenty of training/running in it as well, trying to extend my duration. I also sat in a sauna several times a week.

How did you feel going into the challenge?
I felt great to be honest. Not overly confident or cocky. That’s the reason I did it this season. I feel I’ve always been too emotionally “immature” till the last couple of years, but I felt just in the right place both physically and mentally.

Was your SAS experience as you expected?  What was different?  What was as expected? And why?
It’s indescribable really. I think in hindsight you can say what you expect or need to prepare for, but it was way more about the subtle insidious stresses that make it tough. From a psychological standpoint it was almost polar opposite to what I expected. The things you think will be difficult weren’t and the things you didn’t or never even accounted for, really do have an impact. I guess to paraphrase, you think big individual events will cause stress but actually it’s the constant, tiny and repetitive “anxiety” that plays the biggest role. For me, personally. In a nutshell, it was everything I expected and nothing I expected all at the same time.

What is your biggest fear?
Well, it’s always been being a bad parent but now it’s also not having the courage or commitment to see important, paramount things through.

Were you surprised to find 2 of the DS were American?
No. There were rumours

What did you learn or take from each of the DS?
So much. The biggest surprise, from someone who’s fairly anti-the politics of military, and what wars are fought for (for the most part) is the respect and even admiration I gained with every few hours that went by. They really are super soldiers, with incredible intuition as well as caring (for the most part), intelligence and strength. Generically I took the ability to condition yourself to be able to function and operate at such a high level, combining the cognitive needs, emotional calmness and courage to deal with pretty much any scenario still blows my mind.

Did you notice a big difference between the US and UK instructors?
Very much so. I wasn’t expecting to be able to “get with” the US DS, I like the flippant, sarcastic, straight to the point no nonsense “British way” and actually couldn’t get with the whole ‘Hollywood’ vibe Rudy brought to the table at first but what really surprised me, perhaps more than anything, was how you can really get the “brotherhood” thing from the US DS. There’s almost a greater sense of nurturing and, dare I say it, caring.

Did you see the a real brotherhood between the US and UK DS? 
That would be telling.

Did you form any close bonds with your fellow recruits?
All of them in such a unique way. I’m sure every season says the same but there was absolutely no contempt, friction or attitude between anyone. It was so eye-opening to really be in a group with just a singular shared absolute purpose. And the camaraderie/bond it creates.

Were there any arguments or did you operate pretty well as a team?
Between the recruits, no ;-) we operated amazingly as a team. There were very contrasting personalities. Within that there were obvious differences, but it was amazing to genuinely sense that everyone was working together

What did you learn about yourself from this experience?
Where do I start with this one. I feel like I haven’t really learned anything that I didn’t really already know and that, in itself, is super telling. What I mean by that is I came to the conclusion that, despite what it appears from the outside looking in, I never truly, 100% commit myself fully to anything. I’ve always been an extremist but  I’ve always been half a foot in, half a foot out even if I disguise it to the outside world as committed. I’m not sure any of this makes sense to anyone else but, I know what I mean.

 

Jamie
Recruit: 1
Age: 38
Profession:  Leisure Centre Manager
Hometown/Region: Gwent, South Wales
Interesting fact about yourself: I’ve had 10 operations in 8 years

Biography: Jamie is a 38-year-old family man who lives with his wife and three young children in South Wales. When Jamie was 20 he was involved in an industrial accident at work leaving him with a disability in his hand and wrist. He was working a shift at a wrapping paper factory when a faulty machine dragged his hand and wrist inside. Jamie went through 7 operations to save his hand and wrist and 4 years of intense physio. As a result of the injury he sustained, his dreams of becoming a firefighter were cut short. Despite passing all the entry tests, Jamie was rejected, denting his confidence. Devastatingly, he was also forced to give up on his passion for playing rugby because of limited movement in his wrist.

Jamie hates the thought of being seen as weak by others, particularly his children. He says he is “almost obsessive” with being fit, strong and able, “18 years after the accident, my injury still has a hold over me”. The injury propels him to work even harder in his fitness to prove his capabilities to those that doubt him. He is doing SAS to show that having a disability doesn’t mean you are weak. He also wants to learn more about himself and understand why he still has issues surrounding his injury in the hope he can break the hold he feels it still has over him.

 

Why did you decide to take part in SAS: Who Dares Wins?
I applied for a couple of reasons really, being a proper fan boy of the show watching it with the wife on Sunday night is something we both look forward too. The main reason was to challenge myself in a way that most don’t get to endure and push myself to new limits. After a serious industrial accident when I was just 20 years of age changed my life and the plans I had for it, the accident caused huge amount of damage to my right (dominant) hand and wrist, my arm got trapped in a machine which crushed my wrist and hand causing serious damage where at one point there was talk of me losing my hand and wrist. These life-changing injures physically and mentally scarred me, for a boy that has had body issues all his life now has to deal with heavy scarring. Given the accident I’ve always seen myself and thought others see me as weak because I have a disability which massively plays on my mental state of not thinking I am good enough, constantly having to prove to others that I am capable of doing and keeping up with most, hence my love of fitness and the challenges it brings.

What did you hope to get out of this experience?
From the experience most of all I wanted to make my children and family proud. My children are aged 10, 9 and 1 and still see dad as superman. Given my injury and them getting older and starting to question my injury I wanted to show them that, injury or not, dad can do just as much if not more than most dads, and hopefully inspire others with similar injuries that they don’t define you if you’re willing to challenge yourself. The experience is a once in a lifetime experience that money cannot buy, getting to challenge not only my physical fitness but my mental and emotional strength. I wanted to learn about myself by being in stressful situations, but most of all I wanted to bury some demons I have with my physical appearance and mental scars I carry around with me daily.

How did you prepare for the course?  Any training?
I’ve always kept myself fit, running being my main sports for the last three years. Managing a sports centre helps having access to a gym on site which I use regularly. I stuck to the training program sent, along with a few extras. I trained between 2-4 times a day for the two months leading up to the course, lots of heavy bergen runs and walks which I found difficult but essential.

What part of the course did you find the hardest?
Being away from my wife and kids was hard especially the extra 10 days of isolation before the course were very difficult, being the longest I’ve ever been away from them. As for the course itself, without a doubt the stress positions where the hardest. Your body is in bits by day ten, then you’re being put in uncomfortable positions for what seems like days.

Mental or physical – which challenged you the most?
Physically I loved it, being one of the oldest and one of the most competitive I loved pushing myself and others around me, so I’d say mentally it challenged me more. The DS would mess with your head making you think you’re not working hard enough or doing it right. The waiting before a challenge was also tough, the unknown was stressful at times as your mind goes into overdrive. One thing that did catch me out was my emotional stress.  For a guy who’s not cried for 15 years I didn’t seem to stop during the course which was a strange feeling for me.

How did you cope with the searing Jordanian heat?  Were you prepared for the climate?
To be honest coming from the UK and Wales we are not use to the desert heat, I trained with extra layers but that only made it slightly uncomfortable. To be honest the heat did have some benefits being the fact that the DS seem to like to get us wet. Now the sand on the other hand was a nightmare. It gets everywhere: boots, pants, sleeping bag and rubs and gives you rashes in very uncomfortable areas.

How did you feel going into the challenge?
Travelling and waiting was stressful at times, not knowing what’s coming, but having the other recruits and getting to know them helped. I surprised myself with the challenges as I am not a huge fan of heights, but nothing phased me to a degree that I didn’t want to do it. I think the craving for acceptance and approval of the DS helped and, fearing failure, not doing it wasn’t an option for me.

Was your SAS experience as you expected?  What was different?  What was as expected? And why?
I don’t think you can truly prepare for this as it’s completely unique. It was 100 times harder than I ever expected. You cannot prepare for the lack of food and sleep and the physical beastings that you have. Being a fan of the show, you get to expect elements of it but, given I am normally sat in the house with a glass of wine or a cup of tea thinking I might be able to do that, to being on the show tired, hungry, physical, mentally, and emotional stressed is a difficulty that you just cannot explain. I expected to want to do well and impress the DS but didn’t realise how badly I needed the acceptance and approval from them. I expected the beastings but not as often as we had them and waiting for them was probably worse than beastings at times. I don’t think I expected to bond with other recruits as much as I did. It teaches you that the team always comes before individuals and working together is key. Being around others that have gone through events in their lives makes you realise you’re not the only one that has shit in their life - people everywhere are going through it.

What is your biggest fear?
My biggest fear was failure. It almost cost me my place on the course as the psychologist was worried that if I couldn’t do something, or I had my arm band taken, they weren’t sure I’d be able to accept it. It all stems from when I was training to be a fire fighter. On the course they didn’t realise about my injury which I didn’t hide and stated on the application form, but once they realised my injury they panicked and made me do a drill over and over till I failed when no one else had to. They then made me go with the PT off camp to preform one handed TRX pull ups and push ups and a fit ball which, to their shock, I was able to do. The PT himself just said ‘I don’t know what to do with you’ as they expected me to fail. I asked how many of the 20 recruits could do what I just preformed and his words were ‘probably a handful.’  So why was I being singled out? Later on, I got called into the main office where they told me that I had to come off the course so they could investigate further but promised I’d be on the next course, only to find out weeks later that they had me made redundant from that post. Since then, I’ve really struggled with failure and, given it was due to my injury, I constantly feel it holds me back.

Were you surprised to find 2 of the DS were American?
I was very surprised two of the DS were American but due to the course being so intense you just don’t get time to take it in. The first time you meet them they just beast you. It wasn’t till the show was over you get to take it all in.

What did you learn or take from each of the DS?
I learnt they are hard to please and their standards are very high, they genuinely want you to succeed and do well, they expect you to give 100% and if you do, I truly believe they accept the outcome whatever that may be. For them it’s not a game, it’s real, which they take very seriously, which is why they get so angry if you’re not fully committed. They made us write letters about who we are and who we want to be in 12 months’ time. We read our letters to each other, and it made us realise that everyone has issues and are dealing with problems and that it’s down to you to change them.

Did you notice a big difference between the US and UK instructors?
I think both US and UK instructors want you to do your best but being used to seeing the UK instructors on the SAS, I felt I wanted their approval more. Being a fan and seeing Foxy and Billy you just craved their approval more. I found the US instructors very motivating though, always crediting those out in front and trying their hardest, which motivated me more to push for the top spots in the beastings. During one of the challenges, DS Remi came up to me and told me not to use my disability as an excuse. It enraged me to the point that all I could focus on was getting the challenge done. At the time I was outraged with anger, but he did it for a reason and without it I probably wouldn’t have done so well in that challenge, and that challenge was definitely a turning point in the course for me. The UK DS looked more for the thinking solider, and they didn’t miss a trick, they picked up on everything. I think both UK and US DS complimented each other as they all played their part and I have nothing but respect for them all.

Did you see a real brotherhood between the US and UK DS? 
I believe the respect shown to each other is huge, it was difficult to see a brotherhood to a degree as when you did spend time with them, they tended to be beasting you or shouting at you or performing a demo of the challenges. You could obviously see how close the UK DS were together given the amount of time they spent together and same for the US DSs.

Did you form any close bonds with your fellow recruits?
Yes, many friends were made, and the group was tight with everyone wanting each other to do well, obviously few arguments happen given the environment we were in, stressed, hungry, tired and physically worn down but friendships were made. For me I got close to a few recruits but recruit 2 Dylan, 19 Tom and 20 Leo I particularly got on with and we still speak regularly to this day. After leaving the course some of the crew did suggest there was a few bromances going on between us, which was nice as we all had each other’s backs. I tried to surround myself with positive people as I knew if I could stay positive the best would come out of me. A lot of the guys played their part and Pahrnia was super positive. I have no idea where she gets her energy from but was great to get everyone’s spirits up. Cat was a formidable force, so stubborn and strong she refused any help and kept going and going, also helped clean and strap my hand up after it was injured. There were some warriors among those recruits, male and female.

Were there any arguments or did you operate pretty well as a team?
I don’t think I was involved in any arguments. I did get a bit stressed on escape and evasion due to the stress, tiredness plus I get very hangry when there’s a lack of food. A few arguments broke out during assembling ourselves in order of strongest to weakest, as you can imagine no one really wants to put themselves weakest, and plating the food up became an issue on a few occasions due to a few recruits eager to eat rather than wait till everyone was in the room so food could be dished out evenly.

What did you learn about yourself from this experience?
I found out I am stronger than I thought I was, months and weeks building up to the course I broke down a few times, not thinking I was good enough, fit enough or even interesting enough to be on the course. I found out that, when it comes to it, I am willing to have a go at anything that people can throw at me. I found out that I enjoy and need to be around positive people to get the best out of myself and when am positive, I get the best results. I found out that am not the only person in the world dealing with shit and to use my injury as a motivator and not see it as something that holds me back. I learnt that I need to be kinder to myself, am incredibly hard on myself and take everything to heart.

 

JJ
Recruit: 11
Age: 42
Profession: Courier Driver, former pro-boxer
Hometown/Region: Watford
Interesting fact about yourself: I love fish and used to own a tropical fish shop

Biography: JJ is a courier driver from Watford. He lives with his wife and 3 young children and has two grown up children from a previous relationship. JJ didn’t have the easiest start to life; his mum left the family home and his dad was in and out of JJ’s life, which meant JJ and his brothers had to fend for themselves.  JJ characterises his younger self as a “tearaway” and says it was boxing that got him on the straight and narrow and gave him a drive to succeed. JJ eventually went on to become a professional boxer, winning the British Southern Area and International Light Heavyweight titles.

He believes he could have gone even further but in 2015 his brother was murdered whilst in prison and JJ, struggling with his grief, gave up on his boxing career. JJ says he retired too early and feels like he has been living in limbo for several years since quitting the sport, searching for something to give him his drive back. JJ dreams of opening his own boxing gym in order to help kids who struggle to find focus at home. He wants to reach out and prove that not everyone is defined by the struggles of their early years.

Why did you decide to take part in SAS: Who Dares Wins?
I decided to go on the show because I was feeling down and I had put lots of weight on. I was over 19-stone and had no motivation to train, so I decided to put myself out of my comfort zone and get myself in shape. I lost four stone in four months to take part in the show.

What did you hope to get out of this experience?
I wanted to get myself in good shape, I wanted to meet new people and come out of it a better person.

How did you prepare for the course?  Any training?
I prepared for the show by doing lots of running and circuit training. Most of my training was about losing weight as I had not trained or boxed for nine years.

What part of the course did you find the hardest?
I found not eating very hard as we didn’t have a lot of food and were sometimes hungry.

Mental or physical – which challenged you the most?
Physical was really hard as, like I said, I had not done any training in nine years.

How did you cope with the searing Jordanian heat?  Were you prepared for the climate?
No, I wasn’t prepared. Towards the end of my training, I started having ice baths and saunas, as I didn’t know where I was going.

How did you feel going into the challenge?
I felt worried going in, as I had damaged both my knees due to being so heavy when I started running. I also damaged my right hand, so I was a bit worried.

Was your SAS experience as you expected?  What was different?  What was as expected? And why?
No, it wasn’t what I expected. I thought my being a former pro-boxer I would be okay, but it was much harder than I expected. The injuries I had were a big problem for me, but I knew I had to do it!

Were you surprised to find 2 of the DS were American?
No, I wasn’t surprised.

What did you learn or take from each of the DS?
I never really took anything from the DS apart from they don’t mess around and it’s a very serious show.

Did you notice a big difference between the US and UK instructors?
No.

Did you form any close bonds with your fellow recruits?
Yes, I’ve become really good friends with Leo and Vince.

Were there any arguments or did you operate pretty well as a team?
We were really good as a team, there were no arguments.

What did you learn about yourself from this experience?
I learned that I can push myself and dig deep when I have to. I also learned that anything is possible when you put your mind to it and have the mental strength.

 

Jody
Recruit: 14
Age:  35
Profession: Designer for events and exhibitions
Hometown/Region: Hampton
Interesting fact about yourself: I have competed and won UK female body building shows, and 12th in the world at Super League Live in Vegas (weightlifting competition)

Biography: Jody runs a fitness supplement business and lives in Hampton, she has a long-term boyfriend.   Jody grew up in a blended family with lots of siblings. Her father was an adventurer and they went on trips around Europe together in the 1990s with her on the back of his motorbike or in a sidecar.She grew up and went on to marry her best friend and soul mate but in 2018 their 10-year marriage fell apart. She began dating again but was ghosted by a new partner. Jody’s self-worth hit rock bottom.

Already sporty, she decided to throw herself into something she could control, a body building competition in Las Vegas where she came 12th out of 20 women from around the world.  She has also been a national champion in the UK Body Building world. Some of Jody’s life events have left Jody with a feeling of worthlessness that she hopes to challenge by nailing the SAS course which she hopes will help her discover her true worth.

 

Why did you decide to take part in SAS: Who Dares Wins?
Every relationship I have ever had in my life had ended in a way that made me feel truly worthless, like I was not good enough, like I was not enough. I wanted to do something that allowed me to see my own worth. Not dictated by anyone else, not for anyone else – for me, and only me.

What did you hope to get out of this experience?
To see my true worth, to find situations that really got to my core, and saw me succeed.

How did you prepare for the course?  Any training?
I trained specifically for the course. I got a team of Ex-Marine friends to take me through some marines training for an entire weekend, swimming in the Channel, being beasted through the streets of Plymouth and ran every other day in Richmond Park with 20kg backpacks

What part of the course did you find the hardest?
Realising you have limits that are sometimes out of your control.

Mental or physical – which challenged you the most?
Mental. The ability to push through situations that you feel uncomfortable in, to question whether you have what it takes and continue nonetheless

How did you cope with the searing Jordanian heat?  Were you prepared for the climate?
The heat was not a hugely limiting factor for me.

How did you feel going into the challenge?
I felt like this was my moment. I felt like this challenge came at exactly the right time.

Was your SAS experience as you expected?  What was different?  What was as expected? And why?
It was everything I expected and more. A life changing experience that pushed me to my limits. The intensity was overwhelming. I did not expect to be on-edge for the entirety of every single day, not knowing when the DS might expect us on the parade square in full kit and bergen packed. The sheer physical requirement of each day was expected, but the mental anguish and uncertainty was truly exhausting.

What is your biggest fear?
Failure. I hate to fail or feel like I have not completed something to my best ability. I hate to feel like I have let myself down.

Were you surprised to find 2 of the DS were American?
Yes, the dynamics between Seals and the UK SF is truly different

What did you learn or take from each of the DS?
Foxy – to think smart.
Rudy – to think big.
Billy – to think fast.
Remi – to believe.

Did you notice a big difference between the US and UK SAS instructors?
Yes – The US approach is much more all-in, the UK more systematic

Did you see a real brotherhood between the US and UK DS? 
Somewhat. United in the bigger picture

Did you form any close bonds with your fellow recruits?
Yes. Recruit 13, Sarah, my bunk-buddy. She made me feel like I belonged. She made me realise we were there for a bigger reason.

Were there any arguments or did you operate pretty well as a team?
The team worked rather well overall. There were some minor tensions, but nothing unexpected in a group of 20 individuals.

What did you learn about yourself from this experience?
I learnt that I am enough – for me. My expectations of myself will always be high, but in that moment of reaching my physical limit, I was at my strongest. I knew my worth, I knew I was made for big things. I was made to do positive in the world, and I am strong enough to do that now – it is me who has to believe in me, no one else. I know what I want, I know what I deserve, and I will never settle for anything I see that doesn’t fit that. My bigger picture is in my hands!

 

Justyn
Recruit: 7
Age:  28
Profession:  Tech consultant and mental health advocate
Hometown/Region: London

Biography: Justyn is a single 28-year-old tech consultant and mental health advocate, living at home in London. Justyn was badly burned as a one-year-old, after reaching for a boiling pot of water on the stove. As a result he has carried large scars on his body throughout his life. He is now an ambassador for scar charities, spreading awareness and being a positive role model for other burn survivors.

In his teens Justyn began to struggle with his sexuality. Growing up in a religious household, he initially found it hard to accept that he was gay, but later found acceptance amongst the LGBTQ community. Justyn has always been aware that he doesn’t fit easily into a particular box, being a black, gay man with scars. He likes to think that he defies stereotypes.

Through his work with scar charities, combined with his love of fitness, Justyn is passionate about changing the narrative around aesthetics in the fitness world, lobbying for an inclusive environment where all are encouraged to be proud of their physiques.

 

Why did you decide to take part in SAS: Who Dares Wins?
I am a super competitive and thrill-seeking person, and SAS is the most ‘thrilling and daring’ show on TV, so it was a dream to be on it! I also wanted to represent people with physical scars on their bodies- to show that you can overcome and do amazing things despite whatever challenges you have gone through and what society tells you! I wanted to show strength through vulnerability and that your start doesn’t dictate your destination.

What did you hope to get out of this experience?
I wanted to make myself proud and really take myself to a new environment and be amongst the best. I wanted to test out my limits, whilst having a once-in-a-lifetime experience! I wanted to be a positive role model for others who may feel overlooked or have low self-esteem with their bodies and themselves.

How did you prepare for the course?  Any training?
I followed the training plan provided but also mixed it up! I wasn’t a great swimmer by the time of the audition – so I made sure mid-summer I booked some beginner lessons and then I really pushed myself to swim laps every morning or evening! I also was keen to surprise my body so I would go for 1 hr power walks or wake up super earlier than usual to condition my body to moving and being active at various times.

What part of the course did you find the hardest?
I usually don’t mind heights and thought I was pretty good at climbing and scaling things but there were certain times where we had to scale up rocks and it made me super scared. Though it was safe, and we were harnessed – there was an element of risk involved!

Mental or physical – which challenged you the most?
I found bouncing back from any sort of failure, and the need to then quickly recover and go again mentally was tough because in everyday life you can take maybe a day or two out to fully recover! There were definite times where I was questioning how long I had left in me to be on the course! Physically running with a bergen on my back – in the desert – in the middle of the heat! That was such a challenging aspect as I would feel so run-down after a while. The anticipation of travelling to locations was nerve-wracking also.

How did you cope with the searing Jordanian heat?  Were you prepared for the climate?
I didn’t even realise the location we were going to until I got to the airport! So I didn’t have much prep for hot weather other than steam room and saunas at my local gym! But we had some time to acclimatise before the course so that helped but it was tough!

How did you feel going into the challenge?
I felt excited yet nervous! I was second-guessing myself and my abilities upon meeting the other recruits, but I knew I had to remember who and what I was doing this for and that this is my journey and no-one else’s. It’s not a competition! I don’t really train super hardcore – I push myself, but I was just open to whatever was going to be thrown at me – literally!

Was your SAS experience as you expected?  What was different?  What was as expected? And why?
Many of the past UK seasons were mostly shot in a rainy terrain, so I was gearing up to be super cold and wet all the time and I felt that was the SAS experience in my mind! Going to a warm terrain – it was definitely a whole new challenge and felt super-exciting to be leaving home to explore the world. I felt so grateful and I had so many ‘pinch me’ moments! I was surprised with how ‘real’ and ‘authentic’ the situation is! There were no luxuries on the course or scripted moments. You are pushed to your limits in every way and that was something I never really knew happens. 

What is your biggest fear?
I don’t really have a biggest fear! I have many small fears I guess. I don’t like rats or mice or feeling isolated or trapped in some scenarios or the fear of drowning.

Were you surprised to find 2 of the DS were American?
100%!

What did you learn or take from each of the DS?
Rudy was super strict but kind also - with an edge of charm and wisdom! He would really take time to explain challenges and make us understand the importance of what we are undertaking! He was like a big brother guru! I felt he was super invested in us and our progress. He gave me some fantastic parting words and advice- which I am so grateful for. Remi was also very strict and was an absolute beast in everything he did! Without sounding like he didn’t punish us,  trust me - I felt appreciative to have him there and I shared a few moments and memories that I will forever treasure and use throughout my life from him. Foxy and Billy were SAS in a nutshell! Their seriousness, their precision to detail, their quick wit and how quick they were to find any errors in what we had done to punish us was second to none! Ha! They really ensured as recruits we were double/triple checking everything before we set out on a task.

Did you notice a big difference between the US and UK instructors?
Yes, I did. I felt the English DS had a certain quietness and stiff upper lip approach to us and their comments were very ‘British’ in their approach. Whereas the US instructors had a very storytelling and extravagant aspect of letting us know how important a task was or how they were going to choose to punish/ beast us- ‘sugar cookies will forever stay with me!

Did you see a real brotherhood between the US and UK DS? 
Yeah – I did! They were all together – united for the same cause and they all wanted us to do our best! There was an epic moment when we arrived at a desert, and we had to close our eyes and then the 4 DS instructors were standing Infront of us in a row and it felt we were all part of one strong unit!

Did you form any close bonds with your fellow recruits?
Yes! Number 3 – Claire was my absolute lifeline during the course and was always on hand for a chat - I called her “Mama!”. Number – 6 - Flo was my bed mate and she was such an amazing support for me during downtime and my low moments! We used to play games with rocks! But so many amazing people were there and I enjoyed every single chat I had with everyone.

Were there any arguments or did you operate well as a team?
Tensions ran high at times! I just felt everyone was under pressure to preform and not leave and do themselves proud – so we pushed through and just wanted to get things done efficiently! There were definitely moments when we weren’t sure if we were doing the right things the DS wanted from us so we would try our best, but someone wouldn’t agree so - yeah – there were a few intense moments.

What did you learn about yourself from this experience?
I learnt even from the very start that I was super determined, and I don’t give up! I had so many barriers to even get onto the course – so I was super proud of myself going there and having the chance to compete! I also learned I have a lot of empathy for those around me and I can be super tough on myself but also that if I push more – I can go even further. I would do it all again, if I had a chance.

 

Leo
Recruit: 20
Age: 31
Profession:  Electrical Engineer
Hometown/Region: Barnsley

Biography: Leo is an electrical engineer, working across three steel plants in South Yorkshire. He lives with his wife and three children. Leo grew up in a close-knit working-class family in Yorkshire, living at home with his mum, dad and two sisters. Leo’s dad had been a Coldstream Guard in the army and at 16 Leo began his own army training but was medically discharged after a few months due to an injury. It has always been a source of good-natured ribbing between them.

Leo met his wife when he was quite young and she had children from a previous relationship who became like his own. In 2016, his step-daughter Emily, who was 12 at the time, was assaulted after which she began to self-harm and her mental health deteriorated. Tragically in 2018 she took her own life. Leo went out searching for her after she went missing, and found her in the woods, having hanged herself. The family’s lives were turned upside down. Leo and his wife were devastated and Leo suffered flashbacks and panic attacks in the aftermath. Leo’s father encouraged him to exercise to help with his mental health and this is what led him to the SAS course.

Why did you decide to take part in SAS: Who Dares Wins?
I suffered the traumatic loss of my daughter Emily from suicide. S.A.S WDW was initially for me to prove to myself that I had overcome bereavement and PTSD related issues whilst showing other people in a similar situation there was hope after a traumatic experience. I knew physical training was beneficial for mental health so, having something to train towards, was beneficial for my recovery.

What did you hope to get out of this experience?
I hoped to get through the experience without having a mental breakdown and no relapse of my PTSD symptoms, thus being able to draw a line in the sand and confirm my recovery, and positively move forward to a new chapter of my life.

How did you prepare for the course?  Any training?
Before I applied to the course I had started training after a break of around 10 years. I started a new fitness regime to aid my mental health after my father recommended it as a way to battle my mental health problems. I had a lull in training for 7 weeks due to a lapse in mental health then had a phone call from the producers of the course to ask if I could complete the fitness test in three weeks’ time. At this time I said I could because I didn’t want to lose the opportunity. I went to run a 1.5 mile and did it in a time of 11 mins 10 but the required standard was 9 mins 30. Within a three-week period I dropped this to 9 mins 45.  I went to London to complete my fitness test then had around 4 months to get fit. My training regime mostly centred around weighted runs at 5 am  each morning followed by circuit training in afternoons after work. The short time frame did mean I couldn’t get to optimal fitness in time but I put 100 percent effort in and was happy with the level of fitness I achieved. My training was tainted with minor leg injuries as my body had gone from couch potato to serious distance running in a matter of weeks.

What part of the course did you find the hardest?
The hardest part of the course for me was conquering being away from my family. Since my daughter died, I hate being away from my family and, before the programme, even weekends away with friends have ended early. Before the course the anxiety of leaving my family had got the better of me after just one night away.

Mental or physical – which challenged you the most?
The course gave me a good mixture of the two. My past mental problems were highlighted but physically I wasn’t at the level I would have liked to be at.

How did you cope with the searing Jordanian heat?  Were you prepared for the climate?
We did not know where in the world we were going to be taken. As a precaution I sat in the sauna 30 mins several times a week and trained layered to try and acclimatise for possible heat exposure followed by ice showers for cold exposure. I was glad I did this but once in Jordan it didn’t seem to have had much of an effect. I really struggled in the heat. I’m definitely a man who prefers the cold.

How did you feel going into the challenge?
I had multiple self-doubting episodes, became stressed and even considered pulling out of the course. I struggled after my interviews in London after talking about things I normally wouldn’t talk about around Emily’s death really started to affect me. My wife was really supportive and made me go on the course and I’m so glad she did. This experience has been life changing for me and I feel like I won the golden ticket to get on the course. It’s been a massive positive event in my life.

Was your SAS experience as you expected?  What was different?  What was as expected? And why?
The experience was totally different to what I expected. I got a lot more out of the course than I thought I would. Also, the aftercare was top rate and it has made a huge positive difference to my life. The course itself is really intense and the lack of food/sleep teamed up with mental and physical tasks soon find any point of weakness. I don’t think the show shows how little food you have. I don’t think I’ve ever been as hungry in my life after a few days on the course. It was surprising how close the recruits became in such a short time and how, when stripped back of possessions and technology, we could thrive as a team and support each other. I drew lots from other people’s stories and experiences and learnt a lot about people from other backgrounds and have become more accepting of other people because of this. The course soon made me realise my narrative of being recovered was a facade in my own head. I had definitely come a long way since Emily’s death but the show made me realise I needed more than just grit and a ‘just carry on’ attitude.  Making an effort to speak to people about my feelings and experiences is something I would not normally do. It took its toll and really challenged me mentally as this was something I would avoid before the course. But after the course the access to psychological help to aid my recovery has changed my life more than I can seem to explain. I’m so happy and grateful that I got a chance to take part on the course and have this experience. I feel in debt to the w.d.w team and I’ll forever he grateful.

What is your biggest fear?
My biggest fear is losing another child.

Were you surprised to find 2 of the DS were American?
I was not surprised to find 2 of the DS were American as I had seen rumours floating around in the press.

What did you learn or take from each of the DS?
From my experience I took more from the other recruits and psychologists than I did the D.S.

Did you notice a big difference between the US and UK SAS instructors?
There was a big difference in the ways of the U.K and U.S instructors. Different DS had different ways of doing things. The language barrier was a problem especially being a Yorkshire man. I’m not sure Rudy and Remi could understand one word I spoke sometimes due to my accent.

Did you see a real brotherhood between the US and UK DS?
The brotherhood was often talked about. The D.S all seemed like decent blokes, but I think in a situation with alpha males there is always going to be some sort of healthy competition.

Did you form any close bonds with your fellow recruits?
I formed close bonds with a few recruits and we will definitely be in contact in the future. When out under duress and stripped back of possessions the best bonds can be formed.

Were there any arguments or did you operate pretty well as a team?
There were a few disagreements but most people got on well. When tired I can have a daft streak and I do enjoy winding people up - this can sometimes upset people if they don’t take it the right way.

What did you learn about yourself from this experience?
I learnt that for me the game of life isn’t over. I can still find excitement and happiness in things that I do and bereavement, anxiety and PTSD may not be totally got rid of but can be controlled and learnt to be lived with. I also found that spark of excitement and fear from doing extreme things seems to help me with my anxiety and fears over mundane normal activities. Giving fear a sense of perspective. As doing adrenaline-based activities seems to help me conquer my anxiety I have taken it on myself to get my skydiving licence this year.

 

Nic
Recruit: 15
Age: 40
Profession: Firefighter
Hometown/Region: Warrington
Interesting fact about yourself: I am qualified in Equine studies

Biography: Nic is 40 and lives in Warrington, where he works as a firefighter and is single. Nic grew up in a small, close-knit family but, as a child, he struggled to identify with the female gender he had been assigned at birth. One of his earliest memories is going to bed at 5 years old and “praying that he wouldn’t wake up with breasts”. Nic really struggled emotionally in his teens once puberty hit. He couldn’t fully comprehend his feelings at the time, as transitioning was taboo and not openly spoken about.

Nic joined the fire service 20 years ago as a female fire fighter. He was initially scared and anxious about revealing his struggles to his colleagues. As it was a male-dominated workplace, he feared being judged – but the service proved to be a great support to him. In 2012, after numerous surgeries, he transitioned into a man and says he finally feels like his external matches the person he knows himself to be on the inside. Nic feels like his life only really began in earnest after he transitioned. Nic is doing the SAS course because he has spent so many years coming to accept himself, he now wants to focus on what he can do and see how far he can push himself.   

 

Why did you decide to take part in SAS: Who Dares Wins?
I had watched the show for many seasons and had always wondered whether I would be able to succeed in the process. After turning 40 years old and having faced many obstacles in my life, I felt the time was right for a new challenge and that is what I saw this as. A big personal challenge.

What did you hope to get out of this experience?
I went on the show to discover my capabilities, how far I could push myself and also find out who I am as a person. I had spent a large portion of my life not really being comfortable or knowing myself and hoped that the experience and being away from everyday life in a unique situation would help me discover the true person I am at the end of it.

How did you prepare for the course?  Any training?
I was already at a decent level of fitness as I have worked as a firefighter for 20 years but I also knew that I needed to test my stamina, so I did follow the advised training programme before taking part.

What part of the course did you find the hardest?
I found it more mentally challenging than anything. Not being able to relax as you just weren’t prepared for whatever was coming. The unknown and the effect on my mental being. Physically, I found the beastings the hardest as again you just didn’t know when it would end. Those were the moments where I considered giving in.

Mental or physical – which challenged you the most?
It is difficult to answer that question as I found them both equally as challenging. The physical challenges had an impact on my mentality, but you knew the pain was going to end.

How did you cope with the searing Jordanian heat?  Were you prepared for the climate?
I was not prepared for the levels of heat we experienced. I definitely prefer being in a colder environment than a hot environment. I struggle with not feeling clean and a hot environment just exacerbates the feeling of being dirty on top of the sand and dust.

How did you feel going into the challenge?
I felt a level of excitement but there was a fear of the unknown. I was out of my comfort zone but knew that I needed to have my boundaries pushed. I am willing to take on any challenge, so it was a mixture of excitement and fear, but mostly excitement.

Was your SAS experience as you expected?  What was different?  What was as expected? And why?
Watching the show, you have some idea of what to expect during the challenges, but I didn’t appreciate the time that these took and how much of the day was spent on them. I didn’t consider that it was also a TV show so the logistical times of checking comms equipment etc were not expected. I also had some idea of what the accommodation would be like so the only thing that was unknown was the type of place we’d be going. Although the boots were a bit of a giveaway.

What is your biggest fear?
Not being accepted for who I am. Because if the journey I have been on with my identity, I am always afraid to be open and honest with people as I never know what reaction I will receive. I just want to be accepted for me and as there is still so much education to be done around trans awareness, this is not always the case.

Were you surprised to find 2 of the DS were American?
Yes, this was a surprise, I have watched each previous season and although I was aware of the change in team I had expected that the previous team members would just be taking over as they are fantastic at what they do. It definitely felt like a change in dynamic and the U.K. team felt more relatable.

What did you learn or take from each of the DS?
There were some of the team that I had more interaction with than the others. Rudy and Foxy were the DS that I spoke one-on-one with and the punishments were delivered by Rudy so, along with Billy, they were the three that I remember the most. If anything, I took away from ‘Billy’ to be more aware of my surroundings and to take in everything that is going on. That you can get a lot more done if you move with purpose.

Did you notice a big difference between the US and UK instructors?
Yes. I could relate to the U.K. team more as of course they were recognisable from previous seasons.

Did you form any close bonds with your fellow recruits?
Yes, recruit number 5, Stacey. We were very much alike in a lot of ways. We were a similar age and both from the same area of the U.K. We both went on the course for the same reasons. To discover who we are after a period of feeling very lost. We continue to meet up after the show and it has been good to have someone that fully understands the experience we went through as it is hard to explain to other friends and family.

Were there any arguments or did you operate pretty well as a team?
I definitely felt some clashes with other members of the team - there was an occasion I spoke up when I felt that an injustice was happening with the food rationing. I consider myself to be a leader when needed as I am in my professional life, so I have no qualms speaking up when I feel something is not right. I am also capable of taking a step back when I can see things are working just fine.

What did you learn about yourself from this experience?
That I am mentally stronger than I thought I was. To be taken out of my everyday situation, going somewhere unknown, not having any idea of what was ahead, being with a lot of strangers, all of which are uncomfortable for me. I expected to struggle a lot more mentally with these elements but I actually surprised myself at how well I coped.

 

Pahrnia
Recruit: 17
Age: 31
Profession: Artist
Hometown/Region: Bath
Interesting fact about yourself: In a series of weird events I found myself alone backstage in a theatre at an event. Daydreaming, I jumped when Tyson Fury walked around the curtain. He was alone. We both jumped, kinda odd circumstance to be standing in the dark with a world champion boxer.

Biography: Pahrnia grew up with her Iranian Mum and Greek father. She has fond memories of summers she and her siblings spent in Iran as children with their extended family. She was educated at a boarding school in the UK and her parents divorced in her early teens.

The school she attended was in a predominantly white area and she faced struggles with her identity, feeling marginalised for her ethnicity, but she found a positive outlet in sport and her talents were praised by coaches and teachers. “I channelled my pent-up energy into gratification like sports because I didn’t have that positive attention at home” becoming a keen hockey, athletics and netball player.

Having studied sports science and later film, she travelled and worked in various fields including personal training and video editing, and successfully competed in beauty pageants (she was Miss Asia UK in 2012 & Miss Kent in the same year). In her early 20s she suffered from depression, but managed to overcome her mental health challenges and most recently she has forged a successful career as an artist, specialising in portraiture.

 

Why did you decide to take part in SAS: Who Dares Wins?
I wanted to do something that would leave me feeling more fulfilled than a CrossFit competition. I wanted to do something much bigger so I could be amongst similar people. I applied originally back in August 2020 and initially assumed I didn’t get it, but turns out I was just too late for that previous series!

What did you hope to get out of this experience?
I wanted closure. A lot of people went for answers, I wanted closure on over a decade of training ridiculously hard and being a ‘weapon’. I wanted to do the show so I could navigate my focus on areas of my life that I felt was time to give attention to. I had proven to myself I could achieve anything I put my mind to, so I wanted to apply that elsewhere after the show rather than just my fitness journey.

How did you prepare for the course?  Any training?
I fortunately had years of intense cold and heat training under my belt. I've never trained half-arsed so it was more tweaking my training to anticipate what may come up. I have always been an avid uphill runner. I live in a valley so getting to my gym, school or even my mum’s for dinner entails an uphill climb and I prefer running as it gets me there faster. I started swimming. That’s not a strength nor interest of mine, however I made an effort to identify all my weaknesses that could be exposed, from swimming to specifically my grip strength. I also added the element of training specifically at times I hated, early morning whilst it was dark still and end of the day once I was ready to wind down. I made myself comfortable with all the things that make me uncomfortable. I stopped using music a month prior to the course. I didn’t want anything on the course to take me by surprise.

What part of the course did you find the hardest?
Everything in between the tasks, the standing, the waiting without moving, the effects of sleep deprivation when trying to communicate, not necessarily being in a cold environment but unexpectedly being cold at night with wet clothes even though you are in the desert.

Mental or physical – which challenged you the most?
Mentally. Whilst I felt the strongest in both elements, between the two, my headspace never let me down, but I found it more challenging getting through the night with wet clothes, shivering, and not bailing on the course than the tasks themselves.

How did you cope with the searing Jordanian heat?  Were you prepared for the climate?
I lived and trained in Australia for 5 years and genetically I was at an advantage having spent most my summers in the Middle East. The heat fortunately was never an issue for me.

How did you feel going into the challenge?
I felt the best I have ever felt, I was in peak physical and mental condition. I prepared so meticulously and removed any ego so I could target areas I knew needed developing. I appreciate this sounds made up but genuinely, this was closure for me, so I saw it as my grand finale to apply everything I have ever learnt in my life about hardship, determination and perseverance. The mindset necessary to thrive in an environment like this I had been practising long before I knew the show existed.

Was your SAS experience as you expected?  What was different?  What was as expected? And why?
It was everything I imagined but then very surreal having your imagination come to life. It held a competitive energy for me, but with a weird dystopia, a controlled regimented environment. It wasn’t a real military camp but there were small giveaways that when you are exhausted and confused, it felt like 2 very different universes colliding. 

What is your biggest fear?
Snakes, the dark and dying before I reach my full potential

Were you surprised to find 2 of the DS were American?
I didn’t have any expectations for the DS, so whilst this wasn’t a shock - it was a pleasant new element added

What did you learn or take from each of the DS?
I was really on a journey of self and, unlike the other recruits. I didn’t have a hugely impactful story that led me to spend much time alone with the DS or be on their radar so focused on my journey. However, in my small encounters I got to feel the effects of a respectful older male role model actually applauding me for my accomplishments. I never had this growing up, so whilst there's no real lesson, it just allowed me to experience support from ‘father figures’ (even though they're not old enough) and it was a long overdue and treasured feeling. Rudy in particular.

Did you notice a big difference between the US and UK instructors?
The UK ones were more reserved. Whilst the American style of instructing isn’t what I’m used to, I found they were more invested in the whole story. They shouted when necessary, but they wanted to see our growth through to the end.

Did you see a real brotherhood between the US and UK DS? 
They didn’t air their connections in front of us.

Did you form any close bonds with your fellow recruits?
On the show I bonded with 18 Shylla, 19 Tom, 20 Leo & 2 Dylan. Mostly because they were my side of the tent but also because the nature of our personalities and different traumas, we weirdly complimented each other. After the show I became close with 9 Vince - we didn’t spend heaps of time getting to know each other on the show but after the bonds grew between us and the other numbers mentioned above.

Were there any arguments or did you operate pretty well as a team?
There was only one moment I shared with 18 Shylla, tensions were rising and sleep and food deprivation didn’t help. Your mind starts playing tricks on you but you're also aware cameras are watching your every move, so instead we talked it out. We agreed though that our friendship and alliance grew, helping us learn and understand one another more. In that one situation alone on the show it has helped me turn up as a better and more patient friend for 18. We genuinely have created a really solid bond of understanding and that’s really comforting.

What did you learn about yourself from this experience?
This experience gave me conformations about beliefs I had, and which I wasn’t sure if I was just trying to convince myself were true. We all want to be strong, happy, powerful. This experience allowed me to test it and realise I am all of those things. I have been practising every self-development technique, whether its scientific or spiritual, for the past 3-4 years. It's been questioning, it's been hard, it’s not been linear but all I ever wanted was to become the best version of myself and this experience has proved to me that it was all for something, nothing was wasted. When you really, really want something and you undoubtedly believe in yourself 110% without even entertaining the thought of anything less – you will achieve it.

 

Paige
Recruit: 8
Age: 26
Profession:  Forensic Science Student
Hometown/Region: Durham
Interesting fact about yourself: I had never seen an airplane up close before flying to Jordan

Biography: Paige is a final year forensic science student and single mother of 2 young children from Durham.  As a child Paige was scouted to compete as a professional dancer, and had just started her dance degree when she found out she was pregnant with her first child. She was determined to return and continue with her dream when she became pregnant with her second child and realised she had to reluctantly give up her ambitions of becoming a dancer. No longer with her ex-partner, her children are now school age and Paige has found a surprising new career path – and is currently juggling  single parenting with studying forensic science at university.

 

It’s not the first time she’s overcome challenges - Paige’s parents divorced when she was young, and as a result Paige took on a lot of the responsibilities of raising her baby sister. Paige had always been very close to her dad, who she felt championed her but in 2018 her father’s mental health spiralled and Paige tragically found him after he had committed suicide. It was he who inspired her to start body building and throw herself into exercise, something she still loves. She now campaigns and raises money for men’s mental health charities – her latest fundraising effort is a sponsored hike from Durham to Ben Nevis where she will climb to the summit to raise money for ManHealth. 

 

Why did you decide to take part in SAS: Who Dares Wins?
I had been faced with multiple mental challenges throughout my life and nothing seemed to “break me”. I began to realise I was cut from a different cloth, my mindset, my resilience and sheer determination to push forward no matter what; this interested me and I wanted to explore it more. I questioned whether I was just masking all that hurt and pushing it aside. Wondering if I never truly dealt with all that grief because I am so accepting of what life throws at me.

What did you hope to get out of this experience?
I wanted to be broken down to the absolute core to reveal this something inside of me that wouldn’t allow me to make excuses or give up. I wanted to be challenged in all aspects of my life to be able to learn and utilise these every day after. As well as meeting and connecting with likeminded individuals that would also help me learn and develop in life. I made a promise to myself to never lead a mediocre life but to truly live. This experience was about undertaking something phenomenal that I once wished I could do.

How did you prepare for the course?  Any training?
It was hard to change my training with no true knowledge on whether I was accepted onto the course or not. Changing my training included putting down the barbells and stepping away from weight machines. Cardio was gruelling, I would put on a 15kg vest and perform 45 minute incline sprints/ stair master, all before mimicking the fitness test from the initial auditions. I ensured I was lifting heavy weight but also unbalanced weight as I knew I would be participating in group work. E.g a 20kg weight held above my head and a 5kg weight held out to the side with my other arm.
Every morning I would put on my 15kg vest and 7 two-litre water bottles in a rucksack, and walk the  kids to school a mile out from my home and back. I would use water bottles as they would slosh making it harder to move with. I would then head to the Slag-Heaps, and go up and down the heap steps for an hour. Once I was accepted, at least once a week I would run 10 miles with 5-10kg on my back. I say run, it was more like drag my feet and cry by the end! I laugh! I got the locals all questioning if I was applying for the army after seeing me day in and day out training like I was. I mean if I didn’t have children I would 100% apply for the army, no doubts about it after participating in this course.  

What part of the course did you find the hardest?
The part I found the hardest was the mental battle with myself not feeling physically strong enough to match the other contestants. The course really had a way of playing with your self-doubt, it would creep in when at your weakest. The DS sent me onto the sand when climbing the sand dunes, everyone else was on the rock and suddenly I was seeing 4,5,6 people overtaking me. I remember laughing and crying at the same time, every step I was taking I was sliding back down, I could feel myself going into my own Pity Paige Party. I snapped out of it and found myself catching back up, to then reach the area we all had to horizontally cross the steep sand. I was mid-way across, fingers digging in acting as hooks, still sliding back down, thinking ‘I can’t even do this I can’t get across’. It then occurred to me, I still need to get off the sand, I still need to keep moving, ‘get up there, and then think about the next point’. This was a revolutionary moment for me, I was no longer competing against the people overtaking me I was competing against me and the person I left at each point.

Mental or physical – which challenged you the most?
I think both go hand-in-hand, if you aren’t physically up to scratch for a task the mental games begin, self-doubt kicks in, motivation decreases and excuses jump in. The physical side was disgusting which in turn made the mental side vile. I entered the course knowing my physical side wouldn’t be the best, I wouldn’t be first all the time and I certainly wouldn’t be the strongest, I was relying on my mental resilience to keep me going.

How did you cope with the searing Jordanian heat?  Were you prepared for the climate?
With never having been abroad, I had never experienced anything hotter than England, which certainly isn’t very hot! My gosh I did not expect to feel so weak in the heat in comparison to training here. The first time I didn’t have my cover (hat) was the last day after interrogation, and this had an impact -  the heat on my head made me feel dizzy and dehydrated.

How did you feel going into the challenge?
I felt nervous to the pit of my stomach, my heart would race and I would be flushed with an immense sense of worry to what would come. We would usually be running towards an unknown challenge, these feelings matched with weight on my back and being out of breath would put me into a panic. Near the end, I adapted and began to learn not to over analyse the task, because every time I was completely off the mark anyways.

Was your SAS experience as you expected?  What was different?  What was as expected? And why?
I went into it knowing it was going to be hard for sure, I knew all the physical aspects were going to test my mental ability. But I did not expect it to reveal all of my insecurities I didn’t even know I had and to such extreme amounts. The course had a way of making you feel vulnerable but so empowered at the same time and that definitely came down to how the DS handled the course, they are certainly experts at revealing the true you to improve you. The camaraderie between the group was insane, I’ve never felt anything like it, it was such a strong powerful bond, almost indescribable. This shocked me. I didn’t expect to crave this setting on leaving, all I wanted to do was go back and join my gang and laugh about how shit our day had been.

What is your biggest fear?
I went in knowing I wasn’t the best in water but it became apparent during the course, lack of breath from exercise and entering the water induced a massive wave of fear over me. I wasn’t fearful of drowning though, as I knew I was in safe hands I was fearful of failing the task!

Were you surprised to find 2 of the DS were American?
It was a pleasant surprise, and certainly pleasing to the eye!

What did you learn or take from each of the DS?
Remi showed anything was possible if you allowed yourself to believe that you could achieve it, he would motivate you along the way making you acknowledge it is all in the mind.
Rudy showed me you can be a badass with a big heart! Always stay humble, appreciate the little things and be in the moment. Embrace the environment and enjoy the view.
Billy, what a guy, he taught me to always be confident with your decision never second guess yourself and go for it, never look for reassurance from others.
Foxy taught me not to mess around and don’t gloat, get the job done and move on to the next with no need of approval.

Did you notice a big difference between the US and UK instructors?
Not necessarily, however the American DS were more open from the heart, they lead with more of an emotional connection whereas the British DS were more closed books and more sarcastic, which was hilarious. All DS definitely gave tough love.

Did you see a real brotherhood between the US and UK DS?
Absolutely, it was so inspiring and heart-warming to see, you could literally see those guys would do anything and everything for one another. It made you step back and really appreciate the people around you even more so.

Did you form any close bonds with your fellow recruits?
The whole group, to this day, feel a strong bond between one another, we chat as a group pretty much every day and meet as often as we can. Every time we see one another even on a group call we all burst with excitement! Me and a few of the girls have formed even closer bonds; me and Claire have created our very own business where we will challenge and empower women both physically and mentally.

Were there any arguments or did you operate pretty well as a team?
I wouldn’t say any arguments, but a disagreement which was settled with a simple conversation.

What did you learn about yourself from this experience?
I learnt to channel my feelings into fuel in any given situation. Learning from the “failures’’ and making light of them, observing what and why things went wrong, in order to improve. I discovered I can be vulnerable and its ok to be so. From opening up I was able to appreciate the help and opinions of others more, helping me progress as an individual. I became more aware. Attention to detail is key, each little thought or action has a reaction, choose wisely. Most of all I learnt I am capable, I am able to achieve anything I set my mind to and the only limitation is myself.

 

Reece
Recruit: 10
Age:  24
Profession: Foundry worker/Dreamboy
Hometown/Region: Manchester
Interesting fact about yourself: I work with the very well-known and very entertaining Dreamboys

Biography: Reece is 24 and from Manchester. He is a cast iron worker by day and a stripper by night. He works as a Dream Boy, as well as being a ‘naked butler’ and also does life modelling. Reece grew up with his parents and two older brothers. Reece is the baby of the family and has a close relationship with his mum. He sometimes thinks his family underestimate him and think he’s a bit of a happy-go-lucky joker and feels he gets stereotyped by others as a blond-haired, blue-eyed, gym bunny.

Reece’s older brother is a sergeant in the army, Reece himself applied a few years ago but was rejected due to his neck tattoos, feeling he was robbed of the chance to follow in his brother’s footsteps. Reece didn’t excel at school and says he did terribly in his grades, but started to come into his own with sport and exercise - and hasn’t looked back since.

Reece says that most people don’t believe he has the mental strength to do something like this and he’s participating in the series to prove to them all that he is stronger and more determined than they give him credit for.   

 

Why did you decide to take part in SAS: Who Dares Wins?
I wanted to test myself on how far I could go because a lot of people know me as a kind and happy-go-lucky guy. I wanted to be taken seriously.

What did you hope to get out of this experience?
To feel I can trust people more, to be taken more seriously and to experience what the soldiers go through with their training.

How did you prepare for the course?  Any training?
I went out to the Lakes and did a lot of hill running, running with a bag and even went into cold lakes to get used to temperatures. 

What part of the course did you find the hardest?
I found the gas mask task the hardest because I don’t like feeling restricted round my face and I felt like I couldn’t breathe sometimes.

Mental or physical – which challenged you the most?
Mentally was the most challenging for me.

How did you cope with the searing Jordanian heat?  Were you prepared for the climate?
I dropped a lot of weight when I was there. The heat didn’t help but I pushed through it.

How did you feel going into the challenge?
I was excited to be there and to do the tasks, but I also knew it was going to be a challenge and had a feeling I was going to be targeted.

Was your SAS experience as you expected?  What was different?  What was as expected?
Everything I expected and more. It was such a privilege to go through and live with what the SAS soldiers had to do. It was very eye-opening.

What is your biggest fear?
My biggest fear was letting people down or being a disappointment.

Were you surprised to find 2 of the DS were American?
Yes, very, but at the same time it was a nice change to have both sides of experiences, both American and British.

What did you learn or take from each of the DS?
To trust in people and myself more and believe in myself more. They gave me leadership opportunities and I was very grateful.

Did you notice a big different between the US and UK instructors?
Yes, a very big difference. The obvious one was their strong American accents!

Did you see a real brotherhood between the US and UK DS? 
Yes. My brother’s in the army, and once you’re a solider you just have that connection straight away because they both fought in wars.

Did you form any close bonds with your fellow recruits?
Yes me and Vinny and JJ formed a very close bond, and to this day we still keep in contact.

Were there any arguments or did you operate pretty well as a team?
The team stayed strong together because that’s how we knew we could get through it all.

What did you learn about yourself from this experience?
I learnt I have a very strong personality; I can take a lot of verbal and physical punishment.  And to trust in people a lot more.

 

Sarah
Recruit: 13
Age: 31
Profession: Personal Trainer
Hometown/Region: London
Interesting fact about yourself: I was bitten by a monkey and had to get 24 rabies injections following the bite.

Biography: Self-described former ‘army brat’, Sarah works as a personal trainer, having founded a city centre, open air rooftop gym in London and is in a long-term relationship with her girlfriend. 

Sarah grew up in a military family with two older siblings – dad was in the logistics corps and mum in what was the women’s army. She attended a UK boarding school and describes her upbringing as privileged. As a child Sarah was very sporty; captain of the hockey team and a competitor in national Judo competitions. She believes this, alongside her military upbringing, is where she honed her competitive nature.  She considers herself very fit and has spent the last year building up her new fitness studio business. 

Having previously tried, but not succeeded, in joining the Territorial Army, she sees the course as an opportunity to prove herself and make her parents proud as well as to face up to past wrongdoings.

At the start of 2020 Sarah's relationship with her girlfriend of 9 years ended after Sarah had to admit she'd been having an affair with her recently married best friend. She carries a lot of guilt about the affair, blaming herself, but the situation made her realise she doesn't deal with her emotions well and her hope is the course may unlock this for her "I don't think I have a scooby doo about myself - avoidance is easy but I'm sick of doing it and I need to face myself head on."

 

Why did you decide to take part in SAS: Who Dares Wins?
I applied to SAS years ago. There were so many reasons, obviously being a huge fan of the show had a big part to play. But I have felt like I always talked a big talk but never actually put my words into action. This would be a perfect way to see if I had all the attributes I thought I had (strong, resilient etc.) or if it had all been a lot of hot air. I also had just ended a long relationship and I wasn’t really sure who I was without my ex anymore. So as cheesy as it sounds it really was a discovery of ‘me’ and getting to know myself after being so linked with someone else.

What did you hope to get out of this experience?
I wanted to test myself (and boy did I). What I hoped to get out of the experience was not what I ended up getting out of it. I am going to be honest I wanted to win. And win at all costs. I hoped I would make my family proud and end up validating myself and being proud of what I had done. I wanted to grow as a person and understand who I am.

How did you prepare for the course?  Any training?
I didn’t believe I would be on the course right until we were finally told yes. But because of my job I am very physically able. To prepare I did a lot of running with a backpack on. But I must be honest I didn’t think the physical would be the hardest part. I knew the beastings would end eventually. It was the mental aspect which I don’t think you can train for. In hindsight I wish I had done something, anything to make myself comfortable in the stress positions & practiced the backwards dive.  But my Dad was in the army so we did a couple of sessions running around the West Country picking up sandbags. But no amount of training can prepare you for the course. It was brutal.

What part of the course did you find the hardest?
The anxiety of being on edge the whole time. Not knowing if you should take your boots off or not, being on the parade square in 2 mins when your sleeping bag was out. Just all the uncertainty.  I am such a control freak that I found it so much harder than I thought I would.  And you think you will remember that you are being filmed and it is just a TV show, but no matter what you do you cannot get to grips with the reality of it.

Mental or physical – which challenged you the most?
Mental. Without a doubt.  It is impossible to prepare for and it really opened my eyes to what I am actually like. I used to think I was really relaxed. But I am quite anxious and the environment is so pressurised.  It was also so good to be around people for a long time.  I grew up in boarding school and a big family and I had forgotten how much I thrive in a busy environment and with lots of people to bounce off. However, that nervous energy was palpable.

How did you cope with the searing Jordanian heat?  Were you prepared for the climate?
The week before we started the course in quarantine was actually a blessing in some ways. It allowed me to feel like I became used to the heat.  I got to wear my boots in the sand and get into the head space of doing the course and trying to forget about life at home.  But the heat was unbelievable and wearing those trousers and a hat all the time was so unbelievably hot.  And then the contrast of the nights that were unbearably cold. It was an eye-opener and it really was a challenge in itself. Never mind the rest of the things we were doing.

How did you feel going into the challenge?
The whole time I couldn’t believe it was actually happening.  I felt nervous. And I felt a pressure (I had put on myself) to win.  I had no idea what to expect and as we got closer to the travel date, the more I felt like I wanted to bury my head in the sand (who knew that is exactly what I was about to do with all those ‘sugar cookies’) but the nerves were unbelievable. I was quietly confident in myself. But I really wanted to not only make myself proud, but really represent my family well and show what sort of a person I was.

Was your SAS experience as you expected?  What was different?  What was as expected? And why?
I don’t really know what I did expect to be honest.  I expected it to be hard. But it was so much harder than I thought.  And it wasn’t the things that I thought would make it hard.  It was the heat. The being on edge. Being totally out of control. Being pushed to your limit then brought back down to earth with a bang. It was how it made me feel about my life at home and what I am doing with my life.  The sense of purpose was profound and something I really struggled with once I had finished the course and came back home.  It was amazing in so many ways and terrible all at the same time. Just constantly teetering on that line of discomfort and joy which makes you feel so alive.

What is your biggest fear?
Being disliked, or not living up to my potential.

Were you surprised to find 2 of the DS were American?
I was very surprised that they were American. But I was pleased. I feel like the bond between the US and the UK is very deep.  Our two armed forces are very powerful and I think it is really important in this climate to show nations coming together and working together. Rather than the divisions we are seeing at the moment.

What did you learn or take from each of the DS?
Our Commander in Chief Rudy – I found Rudy initially hard to understand and connect with. He is a deep man and commands a lot of respect. But, having a very ‘keep calm and carry on’ family I found this energy and passion really intimidating and just difficult to relate to. However, as I got to know him more I came to respect him for his heart.  He cared and I felt that.  He was clearly an impressive fighter but I think it takes a lot to be able to be a good fighter, but also someone who cares.
Remi – he was probably the most intimidating. I really didn’t know if he was joking or not a lot of the time. I would say typically I am good at reading and understanding people. But I couldn’t get even the slightest clue of what he was thinking.  He understands people and you’ve got to respect that.  I feel like he sees right into you and makes you reflect on yourself more than I’ve ever know someone to have the power to do so. That self-reflection I have taken on and have tried to implement it a lot. 
Billy – I found Billy to be the most ‘Father figure like’ out of all the DS. I think his intelligence and understanding of combat, self-preservation and the team’s welfare unrivalled. I can’t imagine what he has been through. But his ability to lighten a room one second then switch on and be completely clear and focused the next was incredible. I would like to emulate this and I think the trying to be calm under pressure and controlling yourself when in pain is something I often think about now. But I must be honest… it is a work in progress.
Foxy – he was an ally.  The main learning I understood from him and something I think he really shows to others is that it is okay to fail and not be amazing at something/not be the best but to not give up and to just get stuck in.  I found him to be the most calm. And the sort of person you just know you’d want in your corner.  He really taught me how to calm down – something I really need to do more.

Did you notice a big difference between the US and UK instructors?
As is the case with the UK in comparison to the USA, we tend to be a little bit more subdued. But no less passionate, just not able to show it as well.  I think the main difference I picked up on was the way in which we are spoken to and the US instructors have a lot more ‘phrases’ that they use, whereas the Brits tend to do the usual insult as a complement.  I think the US instructors found it harder to understand the broad range of different accents we have.

Did you see a real brotherhood between the US and UK DS? 
There is without a doubt a brotherhood and respect between the UK and US DS. They all had a huge amount of admiration for one and another and the armed forces each one came from.  They really are brothers in arms and it is wonderful to see the levels of camaraderie they have for each other and see how united they were as a unit.

Did you form any close bonds with your fellow recruits?
I felt I had a great bond with many of my fellow recruits. Number 16, Cat was a fantastic friend and ally of mine right until the end. I would have felt so lost without her.

Were there any arguments or did you operate pretty well as a team?
There was always going to be the odd heated moment around food with a group of hungry competitive people. But I think we operated really well as a team.  It was full on after the world of Covid to be in such close proximity to one and another. But a really welcome and enjoyable change from what had become ‘the new normal’.

What did you learn about yourself from this experience?
My goodness, so many things. That what I thought was important isn’t that important. That a change is not only advisable but vital to grow and understand yourself as a human. But above all that the relationships we make are the things that define us. And the people we can share our lives with mean a lot.  And that is the most special thing… never mind how awesome it felt to be Lara Croft for a couple of days.

 

Shylla
Recruit: 18
Age: 33
Profession: Postwoman and semi-pro footballer
Hometown/Region: Slough
Interesting fact about yourself: I’m a semi-pro footballer.

Biography: Shylla is a postwoman and semi-pro footballer who lives at home with her dad who she is very close to. For as long as she can remember Shylla has been described as shy and quiet. As a child she had selective mutism and says she often hid behind her Mum and brother in social situations.

Shylla grew up in Slough and at school she thrived in sport but, as one of the few black girls, she felt misunderstood by teachers and other pupils. Shylla says that people often mistake her crippling shyness for rudeness and she is sometimes mistakenly characterised as “the angry black woman” so much so that she is nervous to show her true personality for fear it will be misinterpreted. Shylla admits that people who really know her get to see her as the fun, caring, music-loving woman she is. She says she would like to walk into a room and ‘be seen’.

 

Why did you decide to take part in SAS: Who Dares Wins?
I decided to take part because I wanted to challenge myself and do something that was completely out of my comfort zone. To see how I would cope in different situations and if I could overcome my fears.

What did you hope to get out of this experience?
I hoped to come away from this experience stronger mentally, to know I can push myself past my limiting beliefs, face my fears, and learn to believe in myself. I hoped to find out that I am capable of anything I put my mind to and to stop letting fear steer the wheel to my life.

How did you prepare for the course?  Any training?
My training didn’t really change too much, I just kept consistent with my gym sessions pushing myself everyday. I added a weighted vest to some of my sessions as it got closer to the date of the course. I did go swimming a few times but fair to say I didn’t take to water like a duck!

What part of the course did you find the hardest?
I found it all hard to be honest, I can’t really say there was an easy day. But I think for me, the day I got selected ‘least trusted’ really took its toll on me emotionally. It was probably my hardest day on the course. I don’t really know how I got through that day - a big part of me just wanted to give up, but I carried on.

Mental or physical – which challenged you the most?
Physically I always knew it was going to be a challenge, it definitely isn’t a walk in the park. But there was also the mental aspect of overcoming the battle in my head, believing I could keep going and continuing to push when my body wanted to stop.

How did you cope with the searing Jordanian heat?  Were you prepared for the climate?
I think I coped well in the heat on a whole, it was more just trying to take on enough fluids and staying hydrated.

How did you feel going into the challenge?
I was nervous, scared, had thoughts of doubt, thinking ‘what am I actually doing here? Like this is just crazy on so many levels!’. As well as feeling grateful that I got selected and have been given this opportunity to do something amazing for my own personal growth and hopefully I can make it past day 1.

Was your SAS experience as you expected?  What was different?  What was as expected? And why?
The experience was everything I expected and more, I knew it would be tough, I knew it would require me to face my fears. I was shocked how well I coped in the challenges and that I was able to control my anxiety and not completely freak out and overcome the things that scare me, I honestly surprised myself throughout the course and how much I grew.

What is your biggest fear?
Everything to be fair, but I have never been good with heights and open water.

Were you surprised to find 2 of the DS were American?
I don’t know if I was surprised but thought it was a good twist and would make it very interesting.

What did you learn or take from each of the DS?
To believe in myself, to not be controlled by fear.

Did you form any close bonds with your fellow recruits?
Yeah, for sure.

Were there any arguments or did you operate pretty well as a team?
I don’t actually think there were any serious arguments, everyone got on really well and we were all so supportive of one another.

What did you learn about yourself from this experience?
I learnt so much about myself but ultimately my biggest take away was that I’m actually a lot stronger than I could have ever imagined, not physically but mentally. That I am more capable than I ever allow myself to believe and how much of my own worst enemy I had been to myself before this experience.

 

Stacey
Recruit: 5
Age:  42
Profession:  Aerobics Instructor
Hometown/Region: Leigh, Wigan

Biography: Stacey is a freelance aerobics teacher and a mother of two children aged 14 and 10. Stacey loves her job, saying it never feels like work, and her ambition is to set up her own fitness studio one day. Stacey’s parents divorced when she was 11 and she lived with her dad initially - she remembers having to grow up quickly, doing lots of chores and helping run the household as her dad was often out working to provide for the family.

Stacey first met her car salesman husband when he sold her a car. After their first date, she went home and told her Mum that she had a gut feeling that he was going to be the man that she was going to marry and have children with... and she did. It was a very happy marriage. Then in 2016 came the shock news that her husband had cancer. He battled through it and after two years went into remission. However in 2019 they were told the cancer had come back and that he only had 8 weeks to live. He died that year. Stacey went straight back to work as she couldn’t cope being at home. She had always been very independent and didn’t lean on friends and family for help, instead focusing on looking after her children and throwing herself into fitness challenges to avoid thinking about her grief. Since the death of her husband, she says it felt like life had come to a standstill.

Her hope was that the selection course would give her purpose again which will help her and her children move forward.  Her husband's death has taught her that life is short, and she made a promise to say yes to any challenge that came her way. This is one of them.

 

Why did you decide to take part in SAS: Who Dares Wins?
After my husband died I started running a lot, I did 50k around the cemetery where he’s buried and I’ve done a 100 mile run over 5 days, hoping the running would help sort my head out.  These were extra challenging as I suffer with Crohn’s disease and inflammatory arthritis. It wasn’t challenging enough mentally or physically so I needed to find something that would break me to enable me to repair and come back a stronger person.

What did you hope to get out of this experience?
I wanted to break the cycle of grief, the feeling of not doing enough for my two children, I wanted to inspire and show my kids that anything is possible and we can move on without their dad around. I wanted to find the fire in my belly again and to feel something more than just grief and upset.

How did you prepare for the course?  Any training?
I didn’t have a lot of time to train as I applied late on for the show. I thought my fitness was quite good anyway as I teach around 20 classes a week as well as run a lot - wow I wish I’d have done a lot more!!

What part of the course did you find the hardest?
Controlling my medical conditions, arthritis was flaring up slightly and had to drink more water than most due to medication and keeping my kidneys functioning properly, which meant visiting the bathroom a lot!

Mental or physical – which challenged you the most?
The physical was the most challenging, some of the tasks giving me pain in my back and knees (arthritis again).

How did you cope with the searing Jordanian heat?  Were you prepared for the climate?
I absolutely love the searing heat, although breathing/running was slightly more difficult, I was happy it was hot.

How did you feel going into the challenge?
I felt nothing - no nerves, no excitement, just nothing and that’s how I’ve felt since losing my husband.

Was your SAS experience as you expected?  What was different?  What was as expected? And why?
It was everything I expected plus a lot worse but I absolutely loved it, I knew it would be hard and I thought I’d struggle more mentally, yet it ended up being I struggled physically. Being away from home and spending time alone really helped me mentally.

What is your biggest fear?
I don’t have one, my biggest fear was losing my husband and that’s happened, I don’t think anything can top that.

Were you surprised to find 2 of the DS were American?
Yes, very surprised.

What did you learn or take from each of the DS?
Remi really helped me deal with my husband’s death and the feeling of not doing enough for my kids, he was brought up just by his mother so he could relate to my situation to some extent, he’s the only one I had the most contact with.

Did you notice a big difference between the US and UK SAS instructors?
Yeah, I thought Rudy was very theatrical, Remi was brilliant and loved the beastings he gave out. Billy and Foxy just got straight to the point of what we were doing.

Did you see a real brotherhood between the US and UK DS? 
Not particularly, but it’s the 1st time the US DS have done this whereas Foxy and Billy are experienced.

Did you form any close bonds with your fellow recruits?
Yes with Nic #15, we are still in contact and meet for lunch quite regularly.

Were there any arguments or did you operate pretty well as a team?
We operated well as a team I thought.

What did you learn about yourself from this experience?
I learnt I don’t have to be so competitive and be the best at everything, I’ve learnt how to manage my grief in a more positive way, I am now very grateful I spent the last 12 years of my husband’s life with him and I need to focus on being the best mum and dad to our 2 amazing, strong kids.

 

Tom
Recruit: 19
Age: 33
Profession: Mortgage Advisor
Hometown/Region: Plymouth

Biography: Tom is a self-employed mortgage advisor married to wife Helen. Together they live in Plymouth with their dogs. As a child Tom was sensitive and suffered quite a lot of bullying. When he reached his teenage years his Dad bought him a pair of boxing gloves and a punch bag and, though he initially learnt to stand up for himself, he says he went too far in the other direction and fought himself out of every situation. Eventually, after getting into one too many scrapes, Tom met his wife who he says changed his life and was a positive and stabilising influence.

In 2019 Tom and his wife were involved in a head on collision when another driver ended up on the wrong side of the road. Tom came out relatively unscathed, however his wife was in hospital for over 2 months with spinal injuries, and at several points he thought that he would lose her.  Helen is now making a strong recovery, however since the accident Tom has suffered with anxiety and depression. Although the accident was no fault of his own, he has carried feelings of guilt about the outcome. Tom is a big advocate for men’s mental health issues, believing that being emotional and talking about your anxieties is not a sign of weakness.

 

Why did you decide to take part in SAS: Who Dares Wins?
Following a serious car accident in 2019 I was diagnosed with PTSD. I suffered with symptoms such as anxiety, panic attacks and bouts of depression. After suffering for over 12 months, I decided to seek professional help from a therapist and to talk about how I was feeling which helped me get more control over my symptoms. I decided to apply to go on the course as I wanted to show that men can talk about their feelings and be open about their mental health but still be strong.  I wanted to show that being honest about your struggles and being vulnerable is a strength. After the accident I felt like I was a shell of the man I used to be and felt awkward in social environments and didn’t want to socialise with friends. Doing something like this was to prove to myself that although I may have changed, people will still accept me. I have always enjoyed pushing my limits whether it’s physical or mental. I felt going on this course would be the perfect opportunity to see if I still had that grit and determination.  

What did you hope to get out of this experience?
I hoped that the course would help me find myself again. I completely lost myself following the accident. I have accepted that I am a bit different now, but I wanted to find out more about who I am. I figured taking part in something like this would take me away from all my home comforts, strip me down and help me find out more about who I really am. 

How did you prepare for the course?  Any training?
I did a lot of preparation for the course. Training is something that really helps with my mental health, so I try to always stay in good shape and train regularly. I mostly run and do weightlifting. I decided to get a PT who was ex-forces and he really helped me with the type of training I needed. I stopped the weightlifting and did mostly circuit training and hill climbs with weighted rucksacks. I was training 6 days a week in the lead up to the course and on some of these days twice a day.

What part of the course did you find the hardest?
The hardest part of the course for me was the constant anxiety of what was going to happen next. I was constantly on edge over what was going to happen or when the DS were going to round us up and give us a beasting. I also found the lack of food and sleep challenging. I love my food, so being on rations while doing so much physical activity was hard going.

Mental or physical – which challenged you the most?
I found the course more mentally challenging than physical. The constant mind games from the DS, the anxiety of what’s coming next and not wanting to mess things up was very draining. I also found it hard being away from home for so long. I really missed my wife and our two dogs. I did my best to shut it out and crack on with the job at hand but when things got tough it was hard to not miss them. It took me a bit of time to feel normal again when I got home. For about a week after it felt like I was on high alert. It took time for my body and mind to settle down from the heightened state.

How did you cope with the searing Jordanian heat?  Were you prepared for the climate?
I hate the heat!!! I didn’t know where I was going until I arrived at the airport, so I was worried when I found out we were going to Jordan. I am the guy on holiday always sitting in the shade as I get hot and bothered easily. It was another one of those things I just had to shut out and just crack on. I tried to embrace the heat rather than fight against it. It certainly made things much harder. The first beasting they gave us I remember thinking how much harder it felt out in that heat compared to an air-conditioned gym!

How did you feel going into the challenge?
I felt very nervous going into the challenge. I called home the night before the course saying I don’t know if I can do it. I was fearful of what was going to happen and how I would perform on the course. I have learnt that in these situations you have to try and harness the fear and use it as fuel to push you on. I was anxious about meeting the other recruits and the DS staff. There were hundreds of thoughts going through my head the morning the course started. I just kept taking a deep breath and telling myself I can do it.

Was your SAS experience as you expected?  What was different?  What was as expected? And why?
The experience was much harder than I expected. It was mostly the lack of sleep and small portions of food that started to wear me down mentally. It was much more intense than I had anticipated. Mostly because even if you were given a small amount of time to regroup and get some rest you felt constantly on edge about what was coming next, so didn’t fully relax.

What is your biggest fear?
My biggest fear is my family suffering with illness or poor health.

Were you surprised to find 2 of the DS were American?
I was very surprised to find out two of the DS were American. My brain was firing at 100mph at the start of the course doubting myself and what I was doing there. When I heard the American accents, it actually distracted me away from the other thoughts which was great.

What did you learn or take from each of the DS?
Each of the DS bought their own unique style and personality to the course. I was scared of all of them to be honest. DS Remi was probably the one I found most intimidating. His calm demeanour and softly spoken voice I found so intimidating. He would just have an aura around him and whenever he walked in I would feel uncomfortable and nervous. It showed me you don’t have to be the loudest voice in the room to have a big presence or make an impact. Rudy was loud and so passionate. Every time he gave one of his speeches it fired me up and I felt pumped. Foxy seemed to love giving us the news that there was more to come and we are about to enter a world of pain. He would open his eyes wide and give a little grin and drop a little one liner like “you better be ready, we haven’t even started yet”. It was soul destroying as you were usually already exhausted. Billy is a scary man! He would shout a lot and it was intimidating. The one moment I really remember with Billy was when I messed up a task and he said nothing, he just stared at me with a look of pure disappointment and it made me feel so small. They all pushed us very hard but you had a feeling they wanted to get the best out of you and everything they did was for a reason, not just because they enjoyed seeing us in pain. (Although I’m sure they loved this).

Did you notice a big difference between the US and UK instructors?
I didn’t really notice a difference between the US and UK instructors. To be honest all 4 of them were different in their own right. They all had a different style and presence about them. All just as scary as each other in different ways.

Did you see a real brotherhood between the US and UK DS? 
You could definitely see the brotherhood between the US and UK DS. You could just feel the bond they had, and it was inspiring. You just knew that they would each have others backs in any situation.

Did you form any close bonds with your fellow recruits?
I made some real close bonds with people on the course. I think it is so intense and you get to know people on a deeper level pretty quickly. I wasn’t sure what to expect with the other recruits before starting the course but hearing some of their stories and what they have had to overcome in life was inspiring. I felt honoured to have met such strong people and shared an experience like this with them. There were some pretty low moments for me on the course but I always felt like the other recruits had my back and helped me push forward.

Were there any arguments or did you operate pretty well as a team?
There were no real arguments and we all formed a team quickly. Everybody seemed to have each others’ backs which was nice. 

What did you learn about yourself from this experience?
I learnt a lot about myself during the course. It showed me that I have the strength to take on things even when scared or fearful. There were a few tasks where I was really scared and thought about not doing it. Each time I tried to harness the fear in a positive way and get the job done. It is an experience I will take with me for the rest of my life and would do it all again if I could. 

 

Vince
Recruit: 9
Age: 39
Profession: Business Owner
Hometown/Region: London
Interesting fact about yourself:  At 17 I became a resident DJ for a nightclub in Ayia Napa

Biography: Vince is a club owner and lives in London with his wife and two young children. He describes his upbringing as happy and comfortable and says the only thing that made him different from the other kids at school was that his parents owned a club, “everyone wanted to be my best mate when I was a teenager”.

Vince never wanted to take on the family business and instead forged a successful city career in property investment sales. He remembers living a high-octane lifestyle, admitting he feels in retrospect, he became arrogant and lost sight of his values. In 2008, after the global financial crash, Vince was made redundant. He moved back home and decided to take over the family club which he’s successfully expanded.

When Vince was younger his parents encouraged him to try new hobbies. He fell in love with boxing but “didn’t have the drive to learn and improve” so ended up quitting. Vince has always regretted quitting boxing as he was passionate about it before “getting distracted by partying” as a teenager. Now, as an adult, he is very driven and trains at the gym 5 or 6 times a week. Vince’s motivation for taking part in the course is to test his mettle and see if he has what it takes to see it through to the end. 

 

Why did you decide to take part in SAS: Who Dares Wins?
As I am now a father of two, married and run my own business I don’t get a lot of time to really push and test myself in ways I used to, nor do I have time for myself. This was the biggest opportunity I would be offered to push myself to the ultimate limit in a once-in-a-lifetime experience. To test myself mentally and physically like I have never been tested before and to find out what type of person I am when I am pushed to breaking point. I wanted to see if I have what it takes to last the full length of the course.

What did you hope to get out of this experience?
I hoped to find out if I was as strong physically as I think I am and also to see how mentally strong I    am as a person when I am pushed to my limits. I also wanted to see if I was good enough to last the course and have what it takes to be in the SAS. I also wanted to be able to show anyone watching that if you really want something and believe in yourself that you can achieve anything!

How did you prepare for the course?  Any training?
I trained 6-days-a-week, twice-a-day most days and I used personal trainers who each specialised in HITT training and strength and conditioning training. I would get up at 5am most mornings and run in Richmond Park in all weathers, as well as sometimes going to the gym at 3am when I couldn’t sleep. I would run with 20kg of sand in a bergen on treadmills or steppers, and climb downstairs on my hands and feet with the bag on and then go back up doing the same but in reverse.

What part of the course did you find the hardest?
The hardest part of the course was the serious lack of food. I usually eat around 5 meals a day and to go from that to nearly nothing every day was a real struggle.  As well as carrying out the gruelling tasks, the heat, dehydration, running on probably 500 calories a day my body just gave up on me.

Mental or physical – which challenged you the most?

I thought it would be mental, 100% but it turned out to be physical, which I never thought in a million years would have been the case.

How did you cope with the searing Jordanian heat?  Were you prepared for the climate?
The heat was very hard, on most tasks and any exercise, you would sweat so much that if you didn’t take on water when you could there was a serious possibility you would pass out and overheat. I wasn’t prepared for the climate at all if I’m honest. The worst thing was that it was so hot but you had to stay fully covered as the sun would just burn you, so it was very uncomfortable.

How did you feel going into the challenge?
I was confident in my abilities but I had injured my knees so that was playing on my mind, wondering if I could last the time in there. I wore knee supports all day and night apart from when I was able to sleep, just to help me get though each day.

Was your SAS experience as you expected?  What was different?  What was as expected? And why?
My experience was nothing like I thought it would be. Watching the show and taking part in it is so different. I thought there would be a bit of a let up, more rest times and eating, I never knew it would be constant 24 hours a day. You are made to feel on edge, knowing that we could be called at any time of the day. Not knowing when we would have to get up and be ready to go in full kit was so uncomfortable. When we got there and we were told to hit the floor and put our faces in the sand the reality kicked in that this was no joke and they were not playing. I never knew that they would beast you for as long as they did, I thought it would be like a 20-minute beasting then go back to your bed but it was more brutal and lengthy than I ever imagined. Also seeing individuals with problems they have been struggling with for many years, change for the better right before your eyes was the most humbling and exhilarating, overwhelming experience ever!

What is your biggest fear?
Failure

Were you surprised to find 2 of the DS were American?
I was very surprised that 2 of the DS were American, I wasn’t expecting it at all.

What did you learn or take from each of the DS?
Foxy – firm but fair and a really nice guy, but scary at the same time.
Remi – scary as hell and a pure drill master, never came out of character
Billy – hard and never satisfied
Rudy – loved to tell a story and was very explosive and again firm but fair.

Did you notice a big difference between the US and UK instructors?
Yes. I thought there was a big difference, the UK DS I felt more of a connection with and the US had their own style which I felt was not as raw as the UK guys.

Did you form any close bonds with your fellow recruits?
I formed a very close bond with number 11, JJ. We have become the best of friends since leaving the show. We still talk to each other every day and meet up for training sessions most weeks.

Were there any arguments or did you operate pretty well as a team?
I feel the group this year was like no other in the past; we all got on so well and helped to pull each other up. We all helped each other out when things got tough and were like one big family.

What did you learn about yourself from this experience?
I learnt that I’m no longer a spring chicken! I also learnt that I am more mentally strong than I thought I was and that I naturally go out of my way to help others more than I thought I did. It was a very humbling experience and something that will stay with me for the rest of my life.