Shameless Frankism's

7 May 2013

Go on, indulge yourself with the very best from the king of the estate…

Series 1:

• (To Karen) You and me are finito, kid. Here, get yourself an E or something.
• If I’d have known she was a lezzer I’d have asked her back!

 

Series 2:

• Pint and a couple of E’s Kev.
• Give us an E to take away.
• Deliver us from evil, or grant us the certainty of being caked enough to give not what i owe to of a fuck. Amen.
• People say the children are the future, teach them well and let them lead the way. But after you’ve had eight of your own, you realise that’s a load of bollocks. Darwin had the right idea; just leave the buggers to fend for themselves.

Series 3:

• What the fuck? What’s this? Is this normal? Who thinks this is normal?
• My son is dying. It’s the one time you’re allowed to get mashed off your fucking face.
• No gear? You call yourself a fucking teenager?
• (To Sheila) What? Oh wait don’t tell me, space aliens from the planet Ork have turned Nigel into an olive?
• Aw come on Sheila love. Ey you never know our Delia might turn out to be a lezzer... Yeah well I’ve never seen her suck her thumb.

Series 5:

• Lip you were a gobby little shite, always had too much to say for yourself, so you should know, that I’ve had a little piss in every bottle of pop you’ve left in the fridge since 1997. – Ep 1
• So what if I’m not an astronaut or the Prime Minister or a football player. I am Vernon Francis Gallagher. I came, I saw, I drank the fucking lot. – Ep 1
• Son when you have them, little babies, you love them. Even if they’re real mingers. I mean when Ian was born he looked like David Gest. – Ep 6
• I’ve fallen in love. And it hurts, like someone’s taken my bollocks, rolled them in chilli sauce and invited them to take up permanent residence in my gut. – Ep 8

Series 6:

• If that boss side Mickey Mouse is Al Quaeda then I’m... Al... Alcohol free – Ep 3
• Same problem with every new generation. You think you’re the first to invent life’s experiences. – Ep 12
• Despite your reasonable tone and helpful advice, I still fucking hate you. – Ep 15
• (To Mandy) There’s nowt to be ashamed of. Domestic abuse happens right across the social spectrum. Even posh birds get a hiding every now and then. – Ep 12

Series 7:

• A baby comes into the world, another brain departs... – Ep 3
• (To Liam) I promise I’ll always be there for you. As long as I’m collecting your benefits.

Series 8:

• Fuck me arse, we’ve all sold arses. Nowadays it’s the random drug tests so you can’t even take a piss without literally grassing yourself up. – Episode 100

Series 9/10:

• (extract from scene - TX ep 8, scene 31)

Frank: I wore that coat the night Fiona was born; I was wearing it the night she was conceived. And now... Monica... Sheila, lil’ Debbie, Lip... the... Curly hair...?

NSE: Liam

Frank: Liam; the other one... they’ve all deserted me.

Jackson: Apart from Stella

Frank: Apart from Stella. That Parka was... me, as much as... an arm, or a leg... who i am. I valued it; it defined me...

Shane: Where did you get it?

Frank: Stole it off a striking miner on a bus – he was coming back from the battle of Orgreave; he’d had a skinful to numb the pain of his battering. Could’ve took his wallet as well – Didn’t.

Jamie: You’re all heart.

Frank: How will... I recognise me?

Series 11:

• (To Aiden) Best part of you ran down your mother’s leg. – Ep 9

Extras:

• Make poverty history. Cheaper drugs now.
• Scatter.
• Lip – dad you’re covered in sick. Frank – son, you are ugly, but tomorrow I will be clean. We can’t find the ep!!!
• ‘Cause we know how to PARTY!!!!!!