Dementiaville - Marriage

EP 3
It is predicted that 1 in 3 people in the UK will be affected by dementia in the future and, with no known cure, this complex disease can destroy recent memories but leave some older ones intact, causing individuals to retreat to their past.  In Dementiaville, this compelling series uses archive footage to illustrate memories, whilst those featured past and present are explored and new memories are created. In this episode, 4 women try and hold on to their husbands, all diagnosed with dementia, and go on journeys, both physical and emotional, to learn how to build new memories with their loved ones once more.
Episode:  Marriage
The theme of this film is marriage.  Shelia, June, Jenny and June all met at a day centre called Ivy House following their husband’s diagnosis.  The centre is run by Jane Lowe and is for those who are living with dementia.  For the wives their pasts, present and future lives have been torn apart. The centre has been an important life line for them that offers the support they need.  The wives totally depend on each other to share experiences and greatly enjoy meeting socially. As they journey through their partners’ dementia, they find a strong bond in each other in helping them deal with their unpredictable and ever changing lives.

Derek and Sheila
Sheila, 74 and Derek, 78, from Eastbourne, have had a very happy marriage and are still very much in love, having been married for 55 years. They have two children and four grandchildren –they are a close family.  
Derek trained as an electrician – then worked as a lift engineer for most of his life.  
Derek is described as a gentle family man, his passions being his family, DIY and football. He supported Charlton Athletic but also supported the local league’s managing Eastbourne Boys coaching his son, then grandson.  When he was well, Derek and his son would go every week to watch the Brighton football games. He also used to play cricket in the summer months.
Until recently Derek lived at home with Sheila. Derek has been diagnosed with a mixed dementia; suffering with both Alzheimer’s disease and vascular dementia for the past four years.  
Sheila did everything for Derek – including washing and dressing him; the only respite she got was when he was at the Ivy for two days a week.  Although you can still engage with Derek, his conversations make little sense with him veering off on tangents, unable to answer simple questions. He follows Sheila’s instructions but he has become increasingly agitated, which on occasion can manifest itself as violent outbursts, unfortunately directed at Sheila.
Derek worsened over the summer of last year – his outbursts became more regular and Sheila felt like she couldn’t cope at home.  Recently she moved him into a residential care home to receive the full-time care he needs.

George and June
George, 75, lives in Polegate with his wife June, 68.
George grew up in Sunderland, joining a ship building engineering apprenticeship upon leaving school.  He met June in 1968 (and they married in 1971) – they have been married for 43 years and have a daughter.
They lived the majority of their married life in the Darlington area, bringing up the children there. They have many fond memories of the area – especially their time in Darlington Civic Theatre. June used to perform whilst George helped backstage.
In 2003 aged 65 George retired. They moved from the North to Eastbourne to be nearer their family.
He is quite early on in his diagnosis having only been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in July 2011. Most of the time he’s coherent and able to engage in conversations – however he gets easily upset and constantly remembers the war  – telling stories about being in the bomb shelters again and again. He also finds it difficult meeting up with people from his past, embarrassed about them remembering the old George, aware of what he’s become.  He also talks about the shipbuilding heritage of his beloved Sunderland.