Episode Outlines

Episode 1: The Girlfriend
It's finally happened: Adam is bringing a girl (or as dad would say, 'female') home for dinner. Mum is so excited, and immediately takes a shine to 20-something Emma (SOPHIA DI MARTINO), who is definitely marriage material.  The evening doesn't begin well, though, as Emma witnesses dad washing his foot in the toilet bowl, after he's trod in some dog muck.

Adam and Emma get on brilliantly, but just as things start going smoothly, the Goodmans have an unexpected guest: Katie (HONOR KNEAFSEY) is an adorable-looking, 8 year-old girl, for whom Adam used to babysit. Katie's mum has had to go to hospital, so now the family have to look after little Katie for the evening.  

To Jonny's delight, Katie has a massive crush on Adam, whilst taking an instant dislike to his girlfriend, Emma. But things get worse when Adam suddenly gets sent sexy photos, on his phone, from Emma's sister. Adam doesn't know what to do, but Emma must never find out.  Unfortunately, little Katie finds the photos on his phone, and threatens Adam she'll tell his girlfriend if Adam doesn't spend the whole evening playing with her, doing everything she wants. Adam is distraught: he's being blackmailed by an 8 year-old girl.

When Emma sees Adam, covered in make-up, crawling around with little Katie on his back, while barking like a dog, she starts to get suspicious that something's up. But when Katie makes Adam hold her hand, saying, "If you let go, I'll tell Emma all about the photos", what will Adam do? Absolutely agony for Adam. Absolute pleasure for Jonny.



Episode 2: The Fox
The boys come home to find - to their horror - that dad has been hiding a dead fox in the outside freezer. "Don't tell mum!" begs dad. He's planning on getting it stuffed, and putting it in his shed. "Why?" ask the boys.  "Because it's a talking point", says dad. "But what are you going to stuff it with?" they ask. "Sage and onion. Does it matter?".   

Meanwhile, mum has been doing a counselling course and is driving the men mad as she tries to practice counselling on them.

But all hell breaks out when mum needs to use the freezer. The race is on to hide the dead animal somewhere in the house. The boys agree to help dad - as long as he pays them.

The men are soon forced to hide the animal under a chair in the dining room. Cue a terrifyingly tense dinner, as the men try to act normal in front of mum as they eat their meal, just five feet away from a dead fox. But when neighbour Jim (MARK HEAP) spots the dead animal, how will dad prevent him from blurting it out to mum?

Things get really bad for dad when the fox ends up in the back of Aunty Val's car, which is promptly driven off. How will he get the fox back without mum finding out?  And what happens when mum finally gets to practice her counselling - on Jim?




Episode 3- Mr Morris Returns
The family are stunned when Grandma announces she's back with Mr Morris (her horrible 85 year-old male friend from series 2, who tried to beat up all the men of the house), and has invited him over for dinner. Grandma assures the family that his terrible temper is now under control. "Whenever he gets angry, he just sits in his car and screams."

Mr Morris is on his best behaviour, presenting mum with a photograph of himself as a youth. "I was a very good-looking young man. Much more good-looking that your two boys."

After a stressful dinner, during which Mr Morris moans about the number of "punk rockers" everywhere, Mr Morris gets down on one knee and proposes to grandma. To the family's horror, she accepts. "We're engaged!" says grandma, delighted. Mum is horrified.

To celebrate, Mr Morris takes them all out bowling, but it doesn't go well, as Mr Morris picks arguments with every man who dares even look at Grandma. It all culminates in a massive brawl involving Mr Morris and Jim, who happens to be dressed in full dog costume, complete with doggy testicles.




Episode 4: The Anniversary
It's mum and dad's anniversary, and the boys come home to hear them giggling upstairs in their bedroom. To their dismay, dad emerges in just a pair of green underpants, and promptly tells them, "Your mother and I were just making love". Revolted, the boys go and sit in the car for twenty minutes until dad comes out to announce: "All done".

As a surprise anniversary present, dad has painted a portrait of mum. It's absolutely terrible and bears no likeness to her at all. In fact it looks more like Margaret Thatcher. Mum is horrified. Dad promptly hangs it up in the downstairs landing for all to see. To make matters worse, Jonny has just had a tattoo done of a skull on his arm, with the words "Live fast die young" in Latin. Mum's anniversary evening is getting worse and worse.

But when Jim turns up heavily sedated, having accidentally swallowed his dog's sleeping pills, and falls asleep on the stairs, the evening goes from worse to terrible. Soon, Jim starts sleep-walking, causing chaos all around the house, before locking the family in dad's study. How will they escape? And can grandma save them?



Episode 5: The Piano
Mum's all excited - she's just had the downstairs carpet cleaned - "Boys - what do you think?" She asks. "Well, it's definitely a carpet" replies a disinterested Jonny.  There's a shoes-off policy in the house.

Meanwhile, Dad's bought a new piano, and is waiting for the piano tuner to come round to tune it. The piano tuner has an unfortunate name - Mr Greencock - which the boys obviously find funny.

Mr Greencock (LIAM O' CARROLL) is blind and has a guide dog. To mum's horror, he instantly treads mud into he lovely clean carpet. Mum doesn't have the heart to tell him to take his shoes off, and soon her carpet is ruined.   On top of this, the blind Mr Greencock is quite simply the world's most sarcastic man. ("I'm sorry I'm late. My car wouldn't start" he announces).

Mum is not prepared to have the carpet in the living room destroyed, so while Mr Greencock goes to the toilet, she forces dad and the boys to wheel the piano out and into the kitchen. "What a normal place to put a piano" says Adam.

Later, the family go out for a meal, leaving the awful Mr Greencock alone in the house. At the restaurant, they spot Aunty Val (TRACY ANN OBERMAN) having a romantic dinner with a man (DAN SKINNER) who is not Larry, her husband. When Val sees that she's been spotted, she bursts into tears. Yes, Aunty Val is having an affair.

Val turns up later at the Goodman's house, in tears. "What have I done to Larry?" she moans. But when her angry husband, Larry (STEVE FURST) arrives, demanding answers from Val, all hell breaks out in the Goodman household. With Mr Greencock on hand with his sarcastic comments, a livid, jealous man on the rampage, and Jim, mysteriously in the bath, how will mum, dad and the boys control the situation?


Episode 6: The Big Day
The day has finally arrived: 80 year-old Grandma is getting married to the horrible 85 year-old, Mr Morris. Mum is in pieces but tries to stay calm. The boys are fed up, as Mr Morris has insisted they wear matching brown suits with big white bow ties: "We look like pimps!" says Jonny. On top of this, Grandma is really nervous "You do think I'm doing the right thing, marrying Lou?", she asks mum.

The boys are to take Mr Morris to the synagogue, but Mr Morris - seeing that the back of Adam's trousers are all wet (Jonny soaked them earlier) - forces Adam to sit in a bin bag ("I won't have you soiling your grubby bottom in my vehicle!").

Finally the wedding ceremony begins. Grandma - in her big white, wedding dress, walks down the isle towards Mr Morris, as mum tries hard not to cry.  

But when it comes to Grandma's time to say 'I do', what will she say? Will she, or won't she?